When I was 15 my friend told me I didn’t deserve to have boobs if I wasn’t doing anything with them. It’s been 6 years and I still don’t know what that means.

What should I be “doing” with my boobs?

Should I build a fence? Write a symphony? Rob a bank?

I really don’t know.

With great breasts comes great responsibility

Finals week… lol

why put cookie dough in the oven when you can put it in your mouth

I don’t know why don’t you ask the bread baking in my vagina.

i’m sorry for whatever i said that caused you to say what you just said

yes i am prepared for any weather

once i got very drunk in a bar and my mum had to pick me up so i was trying to act normal by keeping the conversation so i asked her if shes a virgin and she looked at me with pain in her eyes and said “i wish i was”

this is my favourite post on this whole goddamn website

Shrek came out 13 years ago

I didn’t know shrek was gay

Shrek is love Shriek is life

in the name of

Finger me in the name of cardiology.

that works too

probably the best vine ever

ATTENTION ALL GIRLS AND LADIES: if you walk from home, school, office or anywhere and you are alone and you come across a little boy crying holding a piece of paper with an address on it, DO NOT TAKE HIM THERE! take him straight to the police station for this is the new 'gang' way of rape. The incident is getting worse. Warn your families. Reblog this so this message can get accross to everyone. 

PLEASE reblog this.

You can plug in anywhere on the square

God is that you

Dude. Got. THE FUCK. Outta there!

YO.

My smart ass would’ve figured out how to break every law of physics and teleport myself back to the crib.

Then again, my smart ass would’ve never been in the woods in the first place.

OMG this is so scary

Slim…I said the loudest “oh, fuck nah” when that shit came out the cut, then a loud-ass “awww shit” when the branch was in the road.

Oh HELL no, this is why I stay away from the woods, too

FUCK EVERYTHING

JESUS CHRIST.

me: 

you:

Lemon is someone out  theres favorite.

thats the most uplifting thing ive read all day

Does nobody else like lemon ;-;

When beatboxers have children.

I’m so mad this man got that dubstep beat goin with his kid tho

imagine if you named your kid dad. just dad.

Actually that’s just his nickname. His real name is [trucks honking], but everyone just calls him dad.

So [dolphins singing] is his real name? I never knew that :D