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Queen E

@clitoralqueen / clitoralqueen.tumblr.com

Em | 27 | They/Them | Queer as fuck
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reblogged

i have 3 moods:

  • skips every song on my ipod
  • lets the music play without interruption
  • plays the same song on repeat for days
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pseudologla

What’s an iPod?

been on tumblr so long my text post is outdated…

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xxtc-96xx
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bewilderduck

This was me yesterday when I saw someone thinking paint 3D was the original MS paint

they thought what…

my favorite thing about this post is that it originally started like this but someone snuck in another bullet along the way when you could still edit other people’s posts. the depth. the history. the tumblr lore. mystery author, i know you’re out there somewhere…

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TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

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WHAT THE FUCK IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE WHY DID SOMEONE REBLOG THIS

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TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

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TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

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🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃

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TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

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i never thought i’d write the words “deeply evil carpet” but. seriously. what a deeply evil carpet that is.

And what you should do is to put this over an actual trap, like a hole in the floor so people will be like “Oh ha ha ha that’s soooo funny, it’s a rug!” And then fall through it. 

are you satan

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finding out that almost all other animals don’t have periods like we do and instead simply reabsorb the egg back into their uterine lining to reuse the nutrients is like finding out the rest of the class has been taking WILDLY easier tests than you for the whole semester

like, hey, cat why don’t you have to use your Cat Dollars to invest in tampons? And cat is just like: fuck that noise, my body is OPTIMAL for not being made of inconvenient nonsense, sucks to be you

wack.

humans: hey, bleeding every month is actually really cumbersome and I lose both valuable nutrients AND fluids I need for survival? What the fuck is up?

evolution: yes, alright, but have you considered this about it? *cartoon blow horn noise* 

Human bodies suck for many reasons including but not limited to:

  • Periods
  • Bad backs
  • Permanent breasts that do not leave once baby is weaned
  • Dangerously large, unprotected, and non retractable male reproductive systems
  • Huge brain takes up way too much energy gotta eat more sleep less
  • Baby brain bigger than hips guess birth is life threatening now
  • Takes like 25 years for big brain to even finish maturing
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durzio

•Teeth are critical to living, yet not designed to last more than a few years without constant intervention and upkeep, and don’t grow back if this is not accomplished. Also, losing your teeth means the bones in your ear will shift, and your hearing will worsen.

•Breathing, eating, communication all from the same pathway, major choking hazard. Give me a dolphin style breathing tube.

•Most pleasurable nerve endings on the body locating on the filthiest parts of you, guarenteed spread of bacteria.

•knees and shoulders have almost zero capability to heal correctly, once they break, they’re basically broken forever without massive outside influence.

truer words

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