tinder girl: tell me abt urself lol! me: no can do i just took like 15 mg of melatonins. im near knock out. i fill my water botle

this post came into my house, took me by the ankles and swung me into every available surface

I did each of these at least once this week.

Gays!! Wake up!!

GAYS

Being on tumblr after the update like

This blog is pro tits and anti Nazi

GIRLS WITH IRON DEFICIENCY MAKE SOME NOI- *falls asleep due to fatigue*

forever mood

if you’re not cyborg from teen titans and you say booyah you should straight up die

the first five emotes on your recently used emojis describe you as a person ready set go

a lot of people these days are afraid to show fruit and vegetables being thrown through a cascade of water and that’s fucked up

there is NOTHING shameful about this

that’s how they flavor la croix

you guys really just don’t check your fucking phones huh? you don’t give a fuck and a half about your notifications? you just carry it around with you everywhere but don’t actually go on it? maybe someone texted you. maybe you received an email. maybe you need to take your daily duolingo lesson. but no, you really just can’t be bothered. fuck you

The Duolingo owl wrote this post