the darkest night will end and the sun will rise

ffs ....

Additions from my husband: Bakers wear loafers and Zookeepers wear Crocs

Excellent additions.

Angels wear wingtips.

A lumberjack wears Timberlands.

Ice skaters wear slippers

Addition from my mom: delivery drivers wear vans

VERY good addition!

Achilles wears heels.

how is this post from this decade and not like 2012

I resent the inevitable consequences the second law of thermodynamics has on my tea and the entropy of the universe. It always happens too damn soon.

The hell do you mean “use a tea light” you’re telling me those things can be used to heat tea???

Fam I’ve been lied to and deceived

Wait please what are you being told, this has raised many questions about tea lights for me.

Apparently the way you’re supposed to use tea lights is like this

Which no one ever told me is possible or exists and might now become my villain origin story after suffering years of cold tea

I'm sorry they're what

They heat tea. They heat tea because they’re tea lights. They’re named that way because they’re literally devices to keep your tea warm and somehow no one has ever told me this and they’re tea lights to heat tea and I might just—[CENSORED]

I’m glad we’re all having a normal one today folks

You know when Terry Pratchett said 'It doesn't stop being magic just because you know how it works'? Yeah, he meant this.

This is Moondipper Tie Dye!

https://www.instagram.com/moondippertiedye

I cannot get this poem out of my head. It haunts me. Joyously, it haunts me. 

@maxjo

and this is why baseball is the best sport (see also: these baseball sidequests)

The tumblr code originated on July 2, 2012.

You can check when you signed up for tumblr by looking at this post.

Behold! The printing titty!

I normally tag these posts “specific ass machines” after a minor meme that blew through Tumblr, but I was tempted to tag this one “specific boob machines”.

(Artist meow25meow seems to have had their Twitter account nuked and I cannot find any other original source to link to.)

Horsing around

What a KING he did that for us 😭😂😭😂😭

LEGEND

One of the most life-changing things I ever learned came from Mythbusters, where they tested and proved (with cognitive testing puzzles and reaction time tests) that lying down and resting with the intention to sleep STILL provided significant mental benefits over just staying awake, even if a person couldn’t fall asleep in the amount of time they had. 

It helps me to actually sleep to know that just lying down with my eyes closed is still doing me some good, and helps me to not freak out/beat myself up when I stay up later than intended. Any amount of rest is better than no rest!

So if you didn’t know that…now you do

do you know that i think of this post every time i can’t sleep op. what mythbusters did for you, you have done for a great many others. 

the problem with having a decade old tumblr blog is that there are posts on it from a decade ago

i’ve become a completely different person like 5 separate times since making those posts and there are STILL people finding them somehow

as a kid i thought i would graduate from kid problems like cleaning my room to adult problems like jobs and taxes. but instead i have a job and taxes and still have to clean my room. cleaning my room is a lifetime problem. i will never stop having to put my markers away before bedtime. this is a rude way for aging to work.

Maybe the real treasure was the boops we made along the way