storm heaven devour god

that wasn’t very gay rights of you

When you ask your dog what they have in their mouth

Do you guys want to hear a really good idea I have for a production of Hamlet?

Heck yeah

do u accept constructive criticism

No.

It’s what Shakespeare would’ve wanted

green book: win

me calling up the academy:

my friends: haha hey whats up we havent talked in a while

me:

its weird to think horses were ever ‘prey animals’ because what fucking predator looks at a 8 foot tall ENORMOUS beast with pitch black devils eyes, terrifying teeth and extremely powerful legs and think ‘yeah lets go attack that one’

well moose are still prey animals so

thats fucked up, a moose is like a horse with extra weapons

Would you rather they be predators

SHIT SHIT SHIT IM SO SORRY

got 4 words for ya: bagel and cream cheese. here’s another: coffee…..

Honestly the gentle giant trope is like… my shit…. like I know it’s cliche or whatever but…. idgaf…… big gentle boys…. I love all of you…

musicians only Dark Millenials will remember:

Girl in sweats: I’m a girl and I don’t need expensive gifts to make me happy I just want pizza I love food. sorry I know I’m weird omg. Girls wear makeup and I’m just in sweatpants and messy hair like omg rn girls are partying and I’m just at home with a good book getting stabbed

911 operator: ok

*assumes typical california boi pose where i am sitting on a curb with my feet resting on my longboard, gently rolling it from side to side* *takes a sip of my arizona green tea* *takes off my beanie and runs my hands thru the front of my bleached undercut* so are we getting in and out later

im a goth girl on the inside. on the outside? a father figure

What really bothers me is that staff thinks it needs to make this site “safe for children” like have you seen this place? Get rid of the pedophiles and child porn by all means please, make it safe for teens sure, but no 9 year old should be using tumblr so I think you’re in the clear there. I don’t get it like what did staff just wake up one morning, and look at this site like

“…Hmm…”

my favorite thing about the cask of amontillado meme (which I LOVE) is that it displays, yet again, how difficult millennials on the internet are to predict. oh, giant company, you want your advertisement to go viral? well this week the kids are obsessed with a short story written in 1846 good fucking luck

oh my dear marketing man,you want me to explain how to track this? well, I could show you a chart that indicates the next five big memes. it is down in my basement, though it is quite cold, and surely you have another engagement to attend.

WHO THE FUCK WAnts to lay in bed with me and kiss a lot

You flirt and kiss and for what??? Sex?????! Love?????? Pathetic.

To level my charisma stat

Ah a gamer, you may pass