well this is odd

Just dropping by to make a record of how absolutely shitty my life has been since November 2nd. That’s all. 

I just cleaned out my following list. Went from 200+ to 87, and majority of them are people I know in real life who haven’t posted in months. Maybe I’ll actually start blogging again.. 

2017.

I’ve not actively been on Tumblr in a long time. Whenever there are posts on my blog it’s usually because I was on for maybe 20 minutes and queued everything in sight. I don’t want to say I’m over it, but I don’t know.. For starters everyone on here is always fighting about something or the other. I’m all for debate but it always ends up disrespectful and I can’t deal. Then I don’t know who to follow. I’ve been following the same blogs for years now. 

And on a more personal level, I just can’t deal with it. I’m emotionally and mentally drained. I work all day and night and g to school in between. I rarely have time for myself anymore, between trying to maintain grades and pay rent. Pretending to be happy, like I’m not 0.2 seconds away from a breakdown at any point is exhausting. Summer 2014 was full of anxiety attacks until I learned to manage myself, but I’m surprised I’m not dealing with them now. I miss my friends, what’s left of them anyways, but I suck at being a friend because I never talk or text or anything. And it’s not that I don’t WANT to, I just mentally cannot. I don’t know how to explain that. (So to any of my friends reading this, I love you, I’m just working my life out).. I’m freaking tired, man. Hopefully once this semster is over I can get on track and be a better person.