found a little brook and achieved total stillness of the soul for about five minutes

yoop! mud on my pants

I wish we had more female characters like Eleanor Shellstrop. One of the most unlikable people you've ever met. Read a Buzzfeed article on most rude things you can do on a daily basis and decided to use that as a list of goals. Makes everyone's day worse just by being there. Dropped a margarita mix on the ground and tried to pick it up, only to get hit by a row of shopping carts which pushed her into the road where she was hit by a boner pill delivery truck, killing her instantly. Cannot keep a romantic partner despite being bisexual. Had a terrible childhood but will die before she gets therapy. Best employee at a scam company. Just the worst but also can't help but root for her to improve.

Absolute loser. Girl-failure. Bad at almost everything. Literally perfect female character.

"okay kid, i have a doctors appointment, you can handle this big fuckoff bus, i believe in you, keys are in the ignition, this thing DOES NOT HAVE INSURANCE so DON'T GET PULLED OVER, have fun"

Ths bishop’s twitter post

I experienced a few embarrassing seconds of confusion because in my language (French) the bishop is called the fool

certified iconic post

Laios is a little more ruthless than I am about it but I appreciate that he loves and admires creatures even while also seeing them as delicious food. I feel like the writing does a really good job showing the mindset that eating living things is not morally exclusive from loving them and loving nature. I love squids and I eat squids. I know they would eat me too. And if they did I would forgive them.

no I think a car would too

"Hm, I've already established that this nation in my story has a lot of sunflowers as a background detail, I should take five minutes real quick to see what those can be used for."

🎶You can eat the stalks! You can eat the leaves! You can eat the petals! You can eat the seeds! You can eat the tubers! Turn 'em into booze! Go and plant some sunflowers! If you don't you lose! 🎶

They’re also one of the few plants which can reclaim fallout.

They also scrub radiation and heavy metals from their environment, yeah.

Target audience reached.

great, my post is in some sort of dungeon

Callsigns are ALL like this. I know in movies everyone's got cool callsigns, but you have to EARN a cool callsign. Most people's are like, commemoration of something real stupid they did, or, like, "Carrots" bc "he ate carrots weirdly." This database is a treasure trove:

This is the English word I want to get tattooed on my wrist. It means “to keep breathing even though the water rises all around you.” English is such a mystical exotic language. They can fit so much meaning into so small a word.

[image ID: all-caps text that reads “scuba”. end ID]

warm baked goods are insane. something so beautiful and almost maddening about absolutely tearing into them when they’re fresh. feeling warm all over after. I really do get vampires for real

ive forgotten the origin of "she blank on my blank til i blank" and i dont even begin to know how to look it up

bless know your meme

​i lied. i don't like sex. open heart surgery

Pets love to show up like Hello i am Mystery Wet :)

Me: "Cat, why? Where has this tail been?"

Cat: "Perhaps I explored the tub after your shower. Perhaps I sat too close to the sink. Perhaps it is pee. I love our little mysteries."

a companion piece to my previous post