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SHE THINKS HER LAUGH IS A SONG SO SHE SINGS BACK
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Great news everyone. There was a kitten wandering in the drive thru at work and my inner warrior cats kid tried to be a hero and capture him.
I have now suffered multiple puncture wounds and have to go to the emergency room.
Me: I shall become his mother and gain his trust
Me talking to an animal control officer five minutes later: he is a nasty horrid little boy and I am bleeding heavily
Animal control officer on the phone: So he’s in your car with you?
Me: Um. It’s his car now and he’s very mad at me.
Second animal control officer: oh you captured him and got him in your car? He’s friendly?
Me, my right hand completely wrapped in paper towels: wouldn’t say that
Urgent Care Nurse: Wow it’s strange he managed to get you so many times.
Me: I uh. Did not let go.
You vibe as someone prone to toxic relationships
People on tumblr will just say anything huh.
Oh cmon, "he hurt me a lot cause i couldn't let go" absolutely has double interpretation.
Me, holding a cat (of unknown gender) as it repeatedly digs its little teeth deep into my flesh: Is this… too… yuri?
This website is free
We pay in other ways.
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This is “Big Mama”, a fossilised Citipati (a type of oviraptorid dinosaur) She was fossilised, still brooding her nest of eggs, likely protecting them from a sandstorm 💗
Big Mama protected her eggs until the very end. Some fossils of Oviraptorids were found with eggs, leading palaeontologists to believe they were egg stealers! It was then discovered that they were their own eggs; they were just looking after them. But they had already been given the name “Oviraptor” or “Egg Thief”…😭
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Another good boomer joke
This guy gets it
More of his comics and books are here: https://whyatt.com.au/cartoons/
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“ExcUSE me?!”
the thing i love about social animals is they necessarily have a concept of manners which means that you can be rude to them. not threatening, but rude. and they’ll be annoyed at you for it.
Why is this person being a dick to an innocent Beast
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I don't trust anyone who hasn't acknowledged their capacity for evil.
"I'm just a smol bean uwu" No sir, what you are is someone who is so habituated to thinking of yourself as innocent that you will continue to do so even when you're guilty.
To quote Chris Fleming
"You know that thing where the most toxic person you've ever met over-relates to woodland creatures on social media? I call it Vibe Dysphoria. She'll put up a picture of a mouse in a jean jacket with 'It's me.' That is not you. I don't know how you got under the impression that you are a mouse in a jean jacket. You are an eel with a gun.She posts a toad with a basket of mushrooms like 'Me doing my little things.' Oh madam, there is nothing little about your things. You gave me psychosexual issues I'll carry to my watery grave. You are not a toad in the forest...You are a cruel woman who just happens to be small."--Chris Fleming
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what the actual fuck
we did it everyone. we’re no longer allowed to talk about the CISGENDER MALE CHEST because it’s sexually explicit
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anyone else get sad when listening to evermore because its so wolfstar coded and then i remember their dead and and it gets worse when i remember their fictional
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idk man the nervous system makes me kinda nervous
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help he's so funny
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that's a pokemon
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hey good news
there's a specifically designated role in the naked mole rat ecology for "guy who runs off into the wilderness and fucks their way into a stranger's house"
Y'all have no idea how absurdly strange naked mole rats are as creatures They're cold-blooded mammals that live in a eusocial structure with a queen and drones, similar to ants, bees, termites and no other mammal on the planet. They barely need to breathe, with a respiration rate low enough to let them thrive in burrows with 2% oxygen, and survive with 0 oxygen whatsoever for about 20 minutes with zero lasting effects.
They live for over 30 years, which is absurdly long for a rodent, don't grow frail with age, and are basically immune to cancer because their telomeres just never shorten.
Naked Mole Rats are rodents that attempted to evolve into bugs, failed, and unlocked the secret to immortality in the process.
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