The life and times...

― Virginia Woolf.

me sitting alone in bed at 5:30am watching the sun come up

Hey get out of there

noclip is strictly prohibited in my home

Interior crocodile aligator

when the moon hits your eye you are going to die

YES YUE!

via @johnjoseph310

SLYTHERIN: “Expect the unexpected, my mother once said. Because the unexpected most certainly will be expecting you.” –Marjorie M. Liu (The Iron Hunt)

The Outbursts of Everett True was a comic strip that ran in papers from 1905 to 1927, wherein the aforementioned Everett True regularly beat the everliving shit out of rude people as a warning to anyone else who might consider being rude. Men have not only been taking up too much room on public transport for about as long as public transport has existed, but the people around them have been irritated about it for at least a hundred years. The next time someone tries to claim that manspreading is a false phenomenon, please direct them to this strip so that Everett True can correct their misconceptions with an umbrella upside the head.

I have never before heard of Everett True, but if he “regularly beat the everliving shit out of rude people as a warning to anyone else who might consider being rude,” I have a strong spiritual connection with him.

Pride & Prejudice (2005) dir. Joe Wright

bastard keeps sprinting to get ahead of me then walks really slow so i accidentally kick him and then meows all pathetically like i attacked him

This Cat Commits Insurance Fraud

I’m sorry, does your cat’s name tag say “hello my name is bastard”

Michael C. Hall (Comic Con San Diego 2009)

bored. might swollow a kinder egg like a snake just because

This is what the FDA thought everyone would do if they allowed kinder eggs in America

Bahahahaha

legends 

Just don’t die.

i love santa clarita diet