Too Far Up All Time Low's Ass

I’ve been staring at this for five minutes wondering why the fuck im still on this site

I’d say this post makes me want to die but apparently I can’t even do that in peace now can i

you’re just a daydream away

Now this is just iconic advice

tfw porn suddenly appears on your dash

When you’re trying to live your life, but you keep remembering the porn that was on your dash.

When you give in and go back through your dash to find the porn.

When you get done jacking off, but you keep thinking about the porn.

WHY DID I MAKE THIS OH MY GOD. IM STILL LAUGHING THOUGH.

Denial, anger, depression, bargaining and acceptance.

diva cups are like almost the perfect innovation except for the fact that taking them out is so hard and like the amount of pressure that builds in ur coochie means the contents of the cup goes literally everywhere when you manage to muster enough strength to break the vacuum and pull it outta there 

there is actually a cup on kickstarter right now called the keela cup designed by a woman with ehlers-danlos, designed to be easier to remove for people with disabilities and everyone else ! i know this is a funny post BUT i also want to use a diva cup without sucking my heart out of my pussy by accident.

im SCREAMING at the last part cos that’s EXACTLY how it feels lmaoooooo

Every single odd number has an “e” in it.

LISTEN-

Not all of them. 30 and 50 aren’t spelled with the letter e in it …

father god 

…if you can split a number in half evenly, it’s even. 30 and 50 are odd.

-_-’

(15+15=30

25+25=30)

25+25 = 30? You sure about that??

Lord have mercy….

Bye

3 days into 2018 smh

LMAOOOOOOO

One

Three

Five

Nine

And since everything else after that is a variant of these numbers, then all odds have the letter ‘E’.

🗣YOU FORGOT SEVEN!!

lmao imagine thinking 30 and 50 are odd

We ain’t even finish the week yet

if i didnt have depression no one could fucking stop me. i only have depression because otherwise im too powerful

basically, i think the general rule of thumb is: if someone REALLY wants the blood that’s inside of your body, and they’re like… a vampire, or a dracula, or some sort of mansquito, then that’s probably okay. a dracula and a mansquito are made for removing things like blood and swords from inside your body. that’s basically fine.

if something wants to get at your blood, and they’re, say, some kind of murdersaurus, or maybe a really big frog, that’s where the problems start to arise. a really frog is not made for removing blood, and your blood knows this, which is why it is so vehement about wanting to stay IN your body instead of coming out. 

unfortunately this will not deter a really big frog, because a really big frog is full of things like prizes, and value, and quite a lot of hatred, and it would REALLY rather like to replace any and all of those things with your blood, and basically by any means possible.

These words scan with a fantastic degree of confidence considering that together they make no sense at all

hey OP what’s up

I want to use this as an audition monologue

Hey quick question OP. What the fuck?

im gonna have some quesadillas for lunch today i think.

why do so many “icarus and the sun” artworks and stories portray the sun as a woman? do y’all know who controlled the sun? apollo. icarus is gay as fuck, y’all.

Sometimes it was helios, not Apollo. Icarus was still gay as fuck

“Icarus we just escaped prison don’t ruin it by flying too close to the sun”

[Icarus already fucking launching himself across the sky for the sake of some godly dick]

woops

Guy getting himself killed to get some godly dick is propably the most Greek thing to ever happen in mythology

Me: “I don’t need sex”

My hormones: “first of all .. you’re horny asf, stop lying”

when you change angles and lighting but your selfie still comes out ugly

isn’t it wild that gerard way can just fucking come up with lines like “will you mean it when the end comes reeling” and that’s not even his most well-known line, he just fucking drops it like it’s nothing.  that man’s never written a filler line in his life.

jesus this is adorable

this way too sweet

Lessons on lessons

I loveeee this!!!

This gravestone from 1875 reads:

“Kate McCormick, Seduced and pregnant by her father’s friend, Unwed she died from abortion, her only choice, Abandoned in life and death by family, With but a single rose from her mother, Buried only through the kindness of an unknown benefactor, Died February 1875, age 21, Victim of an unforgiving society, Have mercy on us.”

We are headed for this again in the US!😭😤

This is so sad. I’m so sorry Kate.

Over 100 years later and still we never learn. This is so sad and fucked up.