whats up with those ferrero rocher commercials where at every party they have elaborate displays of ferrero rocher
if amyone knows how to get invited to a ferrero rocher party please dm me
You don’t have to fake orgasm to help your partner’s ego. The guy I lost my virginity to wrote a play about the experience, and the character based on me gave a monologue about how she regretted sleeping with him because no one else would ever be that good. So, yeah. Just tell him you didn’t cum.
Im sorry he wrote a fucking what
it won’t be like what you imagined. maybe you get the road trip to the beach with coffee in your hand and the radio playing, maybe you don’t. but happy shows up. it’s in a 2 AM game of jenga with your new college friends. it’s curling up for another marathon of netflix. it’s meeting the person who will be your best man at the wedding. it’s 4:45pm in the library when the girl in the study coral across from you quietly whispers “i’m going to set everything on fire” and then turns to you and asks if you wanna take a break for dinner (say yes, she’s very nice and you both need a moment away from the stress). it’s the mornings they have omelettes and in good books and in a puddle that looks cool. it’s sometimes picturesque, but more often it’s full-belly laughter at stupid things on the floor of your friend’s house while in the background someone is debating the best way to win settlers of catan.
i know it gets dark early now and the tired is setting in and everything sort of feels blank and hazy and you want to spend ages staring at walls thinking of nothing
but happiness will find a way in. it will be small moments. look for them.
• reorganize the furniture in your bedroom
• clean your room
• delete apps, contacts, etc from your phone that you no longer need or use
• change your phone wallpaper
• take your journal to a spot you’ve never been to around town // spend time reflecting while there
• sell or donate a few clothes you haven’t worn in a year (or even half a year)
• make a list of your goals // pin it to wherever you’ll see it most often to remind yourself where you’re headed
genres are OUTDATED. i sort my music by thottiness, jammability, rebelliousness, theatricality, and depression.
the emo trinity’s average song stats
mcr
fob
patd
as you can see, no one really touches patd for thottiness, but mcr is the only viable choice for an apocalypse anthem. fob is the most well-rounded of the three, but given that they have neither depression, thottiness, nor rebelliousness above an 8 they can occasionally fall shallow philosophically speaking.
‘but where is gayness on this chart?’ you ask, like a moron. rebellion, theatre, thothood, jamming, and depression are the five component parts of every gay worth their salt. next question.
This is the most powerful chart I’ve ever seen
“love is just a chemical reaction” yeah bitch well so is coke and mentos but its still fucking epic!!!
“The picture was taken before she was famous,” Michals remembers. “I had simply been told she was super talented and big things were in the wings. We went up town and ran around the Marquis theatre and had a lot of fun. I asked her to dance and she was as joyful as she seems in the photograph, just radiant.”
meryl streep photographed by duane michals, 1975.
“I want to be a hematologist. That’s a blood doctor. Well not a blood doctor, exactly. But a doctor that finds cures for blood diseases.” “How’d you decide on that?” “We were dissecting frogs in class and learning about how the blood flows through the body. And I went home that night and wrote an essay. And it wasn’t like any other essay I’d ever done. Normally when I write essays, it takes me a long time, but this was the fastest essay I ever wrote. So the next day I was asking the teacher mad questions, and she was like, ‘You know you can get a job in this.’ And she pulled it up on the internet, and was showing me all about hematologists.”
SUPPORT THIS BOY
I love it when someone gets that thunderbolt “I wanna do this forever” moment. It’s amazing to see that change in them once they’ve got an actual concrete dream to work towards.
push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise.
push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.
get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else.
stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.
buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.
buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.
strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full.
organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.
have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.
push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.
message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through.
think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything.
become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.
lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.
