obviously i'm not telling anyone they can't come to pride etc, but like i'm sorry, aren't you embarassed to hold up signs saying "i'm convinced these celebrities are gay and secretly in a relationship uwu" next to people with signs that say "i'm queer, i have a right to exist and not be discriminated against" like....

it's so.. baffling to think about how there were multiple occasions where people outside of the family suspected i was being abused, and all that happened was pretty much them asking my parents about it, my father being offended that someone would "accuse him" and then no one investigated any further, like... if anyone would have kept looking, kept asking...

and to this day he complains to me that people assumed it had to be him "because he is a man", to this day he makes it about himself, now that he knows i was indeed being sexually abused by other people, it's still more important that his feelings were hurt when people tried to find out whether or how they could help his obviously traumatized child

recently i'm just so.. comfortable thirsting about certain men

like i know that isn't revolutionary at all, a woman (or something like that) thirsting about men yeaaah i know

but that's exactly the thing, since i was a teen i always felt i had to "prove" i'm really actually queer, and as soon as i'm too vocal about my attraction to men, i'm afraid people will think "see, like i said, you are """straight""" after all",

i know 1) being attracted to men doesn't erase my attraction to women and 2) it shouldn't matter what people think anyway

but that shit is deep-seated

to a point where i sometimes feel guilty in a way when i thirst over men too much, like all by myself, in private

but yes recently i'm so enjoying being wildly attracted to certain men, while not feeling weird/guilty about it, knowing it doesn't erase anything, and it doesn't matter if people think it does