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Adulthood

There’s a giant pit in front of me and I see everyone jumping into it. I know that’s what I’m suppose to do, but I can’t seem to do it. I keep getting closer and closer, but I can’t. Time is running out and there is no one around me left. Only me. I look down and I can’t see anything. I know I’m suppose to, but my mind does everything else, but go down. 

This is what adulthood feels like for me. So here I am, standing on the edge staring at it. Everyone I know is too far ahead. I am truly happy for them, but I can’t help but feel a sense of jealously. I’m trying to fill myself with knowledge and ambitions that might take me somewhere, but I’m so terrified that I can’t function and all I want is time to stop. It’s moving too fast and the ground underneath me is deteriorating. My present is becoming my past and my childhood room keeps getting smaller and less brighter and my parents older. All I can do is stand in one place to try to stop it.  

I need to jump, but I can’t.