@deathbyhilarity / deathbyhilarity.tumblr.com
So my dads dog was attacked on their front porch, and the owners are refusing to help with the vet bills. It's gotten up to $800 and the vet is refusing to release her until the bill is paid off, all the while increasing the bill every day that she is there. He is raising a little toddler on his own right now and does not have the money to pay for that right now, and really misses her. If anyone could help him that would be great. I can't even help him until Friday when pay day arrives.
The Lion King: It is impossible to CGI photorealistic lions who can also emote!
Chronicles of Narnia:
Wow. It was actually done a billion times better before… I totally forgot ngl
Aslan was so well rendered I forgot they didn’t just train a lion
I am gonna be perfectly honest, people could have told me they straight up trained a lion and I would have believed them 100%
A comic about Seagulls. If you feel like this comic doesn’t accurately represent you, and that you personally don’t act like this, good. That means this comic isn’t about you.
If you DO act like this, and are working on a counter argument about how not all _____ are ______ , well that’s just disappointing.
This is so fucking accurate it HURTS. Read this, please!
Universally applicable~
Sometimes good posts are made by annoying people so I’ll help out
These are Safe Shorts. They were made by Sandra Seilz after someone attempted to rape her. If the fabric is torn, an alarm will be sounded.
This is the Rape-aXe, invented by a South African doctor by the name of Sonnet Ehlers. After interviewing a rape victim who wished she had teeth down there, she made this. If someone’s penis is inserted and pulled back out, the teeth will sink in, and can only be removed by a doctor.
The Killer Tampon (couldn’t find a site for it), made by retired anaesthetist Jaap Haumann. When penetration takes place, the sharp end will slice the offending appendage.
The Anti-Rape Belt (also couldn’t find a site), made by a group of Swedish teenagers led by Nadja Björk. It requires two hands to undo.
Anti-Rape Underwear/Bra (once again), as made by a group of Indian students. Will deliver an electric shock when met with unwanted advances, as well as sounding an alarm.
Undercover Colours. Made by 4 male undergraduates at North Carolina U, they change colours when in contact with chemicals or drugs that cause unconsciousness. Used in case you’re wary that your drink has been roofied.
These are just tools to help, but in addition to being mindful of your situations and staying safe, they can help when the worst happens.
Stay safe.
ok, those are all kind of awesome. i wish they weren’t needed, bit still…awesome solutions.
I feel more comfortable reblogging this version
RapeAxe has a gofund me up that barely has 700 dollars. I feel like the inventions that havent even been funded yet should be linked to the page you can support them at.
wish this wasn’t necessay, but this could save someone. please reblog!
Undercover Colors changed their product to something you can attach to your keychain or the back of your phone and put some drops on it to test your drink, it isn’t nail polish they switched their product plan.
-FemaleWarrior, She/They
2019 is the year y'all stop treating bi and pan women as “secondary” wlw
not to sound terrible but it would be nice if people who aren’t bi/pan reblogged this more since that’s most of the people who are reblogging this.
2019 is also the year y’all stop treating ace women as “secondary” wlw
2019 is also also the year y’all stop treatin aro women as “secondary” wlw
i’m sorry but there is no way you could have stopped me from standing on my chair and screeching like a banshee if i saw this live…
What
HOW
“ballet isn’t a sport”
The thing about this is, you can barely see their muscles straining from effort. The effort to keep each other and themselves balanced, definitely, but that guy’s hand is barely shaking. The amount of training and strength and balance to go into this is fucking insane.
Ballet is raw AF
me hanging out with black people in the summer: “aye, yall don’t forget to put on sunscreen”
them:
Use the Walgreens Brand which is pretty cheap and it does wonders and doesn’t leave me with a white cast. And I’m dark as hell so I hate looking ashy but not all sunscreens are made equally and it’s one of the better ones I’ve used.
Wait cocoa/shea butter and coconut oil don’t protect you from the sun we really do need sunscreen??
Yea fam. All that “we don’t need sunscreen” shit is a myth. Combine that with the fact that most dermatologists don’t know how to spot skin cancer in Black people and it’s a nasty combination.
Yeah, it’s harder for us to get it but when we do it’s deadly. I know two people who died of skin cancer, both were Black.
“While incidence of melanoma is higher in the Caucasian population, a July 2016 study in the Journal of the American Academy of Dermatology showed it is more deadly in people of color. African American patients were most likely to be diagnosed with melanoma in its later stages than any other group in the study, and they also had the worst prognosis and the lowest overall survival rate.”
Sorry about the link, I’m on mobile. But this is from August 2016, which I know isn’t the most recent but it’s still SUPER IMPORTANT. Y’all please wear sunscreen. With Google it’s even easy to find smaller, Black-owned brands.
https://blackgirlsunscreen.com/ is Black-owned!
I use this sunscreen from Walmart. It’s cheap, doesn’t leave a white cast, and smells pretty good.
Duuuude my family uses that and it’s Soo nice it even smells good
Same for brown people, are skin may be dark but we do burn!
Knowing that trans women of color started the movement in the united states and were literally immediately erased and excluded from what they started is the most deeply jading knowledge.
It is the original sin of the so-called queer community and it damns it from the cradle.
no white gay boy will ever reblog this, watch:
no white gay will reblog this
no white lgb person will reblog this
Without Stonewall, without the efforts of Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera, the LGBTQ Community wouldn’t be where it is today. Don’t forget the roots, don’t forget the catalyst.
and then TERFs wanna be like, “hmm well the LGBT community existed before Stonewall!”
but like…Becky, of course LGBTQ+ people existed before Stonewall. We’ve all existed since the beginning of time. But the movement got a shock to its senses, a jump-start, a rocket-into-space when that glass shattered via Marsha P. Johnson, and when Sylvia Rivera was up on-stage protesting guess who was on the sidelines heckling her?
The same fuckers who won’t ever reblog or acknowledge this
My apologies to the original poster as I photo captured this post to add to the thread-I reposted this last year for pride and expect to repost it every year I have left-it’s our history people.
I am asking other men to please pay attention to this. Sexual predators and airplane creeps, a thread: https://twitter.com/joannachiu/status/1110079640998023168?s=21
Here are the links from the above tweet, just in case: Bystander Tips (stopstreetharrassment.org): http://www.stopstreetharassment.org/resources/male-allies/bystander-tips/ What bystanders can do about harassment on public transportation by @EndingViolence @_AngelaMarieMac : https://www.bwss.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/BWSS-Transit-Tuesday-Brochure.pdf Sexual Harrassment Training Doesn’t Work. But Some Things Do. The Upshot, New York Times: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/11/upshot/sexual-harassment-workplace-prevention-effective.html
I travel a lot alone and oh my God do I get hit on. It’s terrible being stuck for several hours next to a man trying to talk to you or rubbing his leg against yours and you know hes doing it on purpose.
I’ve pretended to be asleep, always have my large headphones on but I still get talked to. It’s more annoying than anything else. I’ve never really thought of it as sexual harassment but I guess it could be. And I’ve never thought to ask a flight attendant for help either. And no one has ever intervened that I know of.
For those of you who follow the Stuart Semple and Anish Kapoor feud, (which you can read about here) Semple recently had his kickstarter for Black 3.0 100% funded!
Black 3.0 is an updated version to his very popular Black 2.0 which was invented as a way to give the public access to a cheap and effective black that rivals Vantablack, a pigment monoplozied by Anish Kapoor.
(*and no kapoor can’t buy this one either)
I’M FUCKING DYING ‘USUAL RESTRICTIONS APPLY’
life tip whatever dumb ass name you get siri to call you is what your iphone automatically signs your emails as. i have been applying to jobs for 2 months as queef.
FUCK
This post actually deserves a “reblog to save a life”
I hope everyone reblogs this.
For most of the 114 years since the American pitbull terrier was first recognized by the United Kennel Club, the breed was rightly seen as the perfect “nanny dog” for children because of its friendly nature, loyalty and stability. [x]
Pitbulls are great dogs and anyone who says otherwise can fucking fight me
That’s Louis Rossman, a repair technician and YouTuber, who went viral recently for railing against Apple. Apple purposely charges a lot for repairs and you either have to pay up or buy a new device. That’s because Apple withholds necessary tools and information from outside repair shops. And to think, we were just so close to change.
Follow @the-future-now
Reblog if you:
No one will know which is it
Reblogging this from my iPhone, ironically.
Reblogging from my 2011 macbook pro that has threatened to die for years.
ALWAYS REBLOG
So I bought a couple of things from Stuart Semple’s art supply shop, (Stuart Semple, as you may remember from another Tumblr post, is the artist in a fued with Anish Kapoor because Anish won’t let anyone else use a super black paint called Vanta Black and is generally ultra elitist about art and who has access to both it and supplies to make it), anyways, my purchase came with a free coloring book.
This is the first page.
And more.
I’m obsessed.
I repeat, I fucking LOVE
Did they ever reveal how Captain America was thawed? Because I’m picturing a bunch of Shield agents with hair dryers and I don’t think that’s quite right.
I don’t think they’d want to microwave him so hair dryer is really the only remaining option. That’s how I’d do it.
Do you have a sciency way to accomplish this task?
Well, let’s see.
To thaw a 1.5 metric ton colossal squid frozen in a block of ice (the only way the fishermen who trawled the thing in could bring it home before it went bad), scientists put it in a big vat of brine just above 0 Celsius/32F. That allowed the fresh water to melt while still keeping the squid as cold as possible. Essential, since for a giant corpse with tentacles, certain parts are bound to thaw days before others and could become quite rotten before the rest comes out of the ice block if you’re not careful.
HOWEVER Captain America was still alive, which complicates things. On the other hand, even supersoldiers are significantly smaller than this record-setting colossal squid. This helps thaw logistics somewhat.
Much like the squid, Captain America would have to be kept at a consistent temperature throughout his body in order to be thawed successfully. If his extremities were to thaw more than a minute or two before his heart and lungs were thawed and reactivated, the tissue wouldn’t have any oxygen and would quickly die. What a shame to bring back Steve Rogers only to have him be the poster boy for gangrene. Brain tissue becoming metabolically active before the cardiovascular system began functioning would be even more disastrous— possible permanent brain damage.
And the GH-325 project was born
To keep his temperature as equal as possible across his entire body, something like the squid brine or (more likely) an antifreeze solution would be used. Immerse the Capsicle in brine until the entire unit is within a degree or two of thawing* to begin Phase II.
*Note that due to presence of salts, fats, protein, etc, the freezing point of meat is actually 28-29F. Apologies to non-US readers, sadly I only work with American meat and don’t know the freezing point of corpses/beef in Sane Country Units. That being said, Steve Rogers is 100% American meat. Fahrenheit shall be considered the appropriate unit for this project.
At the thawing point, it’s important to consider life support functions. I don’t know how fast human tissue uses up oxygen at refrigerator-range temperatures, but I’m going to assume that the sooner you have oxygen circulating the better. A heart-lung machine would be needed to oxygenate and move the blood around for a while before the heart gets started back up.
Meanwhile, because Captain America’s last un-frozen moments were spent deep underwater, there may be decompression issues at play. Whatever gas bubbles may have been present in his tissue are currently frozen in place, but when he thaws they can move about and create embolisms —> the bends. Better put him in a hyperbaric chamber just in case.
Since Captain America regained consciousness in a recovery room rather than during the thaw process, it may be safe to assume that he was sedated and/or placed in a drug-induced coma during thaw.
So at this point we’ve got a giant bathtub of brine, a heart-lung machine, oxygen canisters, lots of drugs, plus all the necessary monitoring equipment all inside a hyperbaric chamber. After thawing the antifreeze bath could be replaced with gradually warming water or saline solution in order to bring Captain America back up to normal body temperature. So many machines! This is US medicine at its finest.
Forced warm air blowers (hairdryers) are needed after Captain America is fully thawed, organ systems are reactivated, and he is brought back to normal body temperature. At this point it becomes necessary to dry and style Captain America and put him in period-appropriate jammies to sleep it off in a vintage hospital room. If you think hearing the wrong baseball game tipped him off fast, you should see him wake up with bad hair.
THIS IS THE BEST POST IN THE HISTORY OF EVERYTHING.
That being said, Steve Rogers is 100% American meat. Fahrenheit shall be considered the appropriate unit for this project.
CANNOT STOP LAUGHING.
“Much like the squid, Captain America…” - a sentence I never thought I’d read
Must tag the girls @katiew1973 @angryschnauzer @feelmyroarrrr @secondsandstars for science
My dental insurance just emailed me to tell me they aren't covering me at all and it's telling me my estimated cost is about $1,675.80. I feel so ridiculously screwed right now.
