The same year-end meme I’ve done every year since 2002

1: What did you do in 2019 that you’d never done before?

Flew internationally solo. Gave up some traditions in exchange for checking serious things off my bucket list. I was in a yearlong relationship with someone who didn’t treat me well, but he also encouraged me to grow into the best person I can be, and he gave me some of the happiest days of the last 10 years at least. I mention him a lot here.

2: Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I passively hoped I would lose some weight. I lost almost 40 lbs, gained back 10.

3: Did anyone close to you give birth?

No

4: Did anyone close to you die?

No

5: What countries did you visit?

Mexico!

6: What would you like to have in 2020 that you lacked in 2019?

More disposable income. Less responsibility. An exclusive partner.

7: What dates from 2019 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Feb 3 Snowmageddon! Feb 10, Anthony’s birthday. March 6, the 20th anniversary of Salome’s death, and totaling my Jetta the day before I left for Mexico. 2 weeks in Mexico. June 6, when I smashed a potato in Anthony’s face (5 years overdue), July 1 when I dislocated my own shoulder trying to exercise, September 5, when I played hooky from work to go to the state fair and a Mountain Goats show with Anthony. Thanksgiving, an amazing meal shared with Chris and Walt.

8: What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Negotiated for an almost 20% pay raise. Applied for a car loan and learned I have a credit score just shy of 700 even though I still have my bankruptcy on record. I’m getting better at standing up for myself.

9: What was your biggest failure?

Ignoring what was good for me, volunteering to be someone’s valet

10: Did you suffer illness or injury?

Ohhhhhhhh yes. I got real sick in Mexico from some conch shell ceviche. I dislocated my right shoulder trying to exercise, and I missed more than 3 weeks of work from it.

11: What was the best thing you bought?

Probably the Prius, because I needed another car after the Jetta. But I don’t like the Prius. I miss the Jetta. It was a really good car. The Prius is cursed.

12: Whose behaviour merited celebration?

My bosses, Alexis, Chris, Anthony, Walt

13: Whose behaviour made you appalled?

Anthony, mine, and one customer in particular whose business model is to usurp, manipulate, lie & steal from his customers and the city. He alternates between calling me “honey” and “sweetheart” and screaming obscenities at me. My bosses hate him, but he also owes us like $1,500, so I have to keep dealing with him until he’s paid up.

14: Where did most of your money go?

As predicted, the car(s).

15: What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Mexico & Alexis. Bringing old clothes that I’d outgrown back into my closet.

16: What song will always remind you of 2019?

“Weed, Sex, & TV” by Problemas

Lately I been goin’ through shit

All the things I love seem to defeat me

I don’t wanna do shit

‘cept smoke weed, sex, and watch TV

I been feelin’ stupid

But it’s hard to make great things look easy

I don’t wanna do shit

‘cept smoke weed, sex, and watch TV

Tired of bein’ motivated

Constant all my life

I’ve had close to 30 jobs

And still the pen, it writes

Then sometimes I see your face and

Everything is dry

What’s the point in goin’ on yeah,

Who stays up at night

Waiting for me… to… arrive

Waiting for me… to…

17: Compared to this time last year, are you: (a happier or sadder? (b thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

Not sure, thinner, it’s a wash

18: What do you wish you’d done more of?

New music discovery, charity & volunteering

19: What do you wish you’d done less of?

Taking insults, completely diminishing myself, and giving money to an unappreciative narcissistic brat

20: How did you spend Christmas?

Laid out a charcuterie smorgasboard and plays Lord of the Ring Risk with Chris. I won in like 10 turns, incredible!

21: Did you fall in love in 2019?

No. I’m in a permanent state of limerence with Anthony.

22: What was your favourite TV program?

I really liked “It’s Bruno!” on Netflix. I also finally watched The Office (US), Mad Men, and Parks & Rec. I’m finally caught up with American TV culture circa 2012!

23: Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Amazingly, no.

24: What was the best book you read?

the MUTCD (Federal guidelines for traffic signage)

25: What was your greatest musical discovery?

Leikeli47, Lizzo, Lil’ Dickey

26: What did you want and get?

The BFE, however fleeting and piecemeal. Snow. Boat trips. A tropical beach. A 20% raise. Sometimes drunk.

27: What did you want and not get?

A life partner. Healthier. Respect from someone I said I loved.

28: What was your favourite film of this year?

Both “Limitless” and “Annihilation” had my attention, as does everything Marvel.

29: What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

I worked hard, saved up and it paid off, in general.

30: How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2019?

I think this year I was described as “Amish raver” and “19th century schoolmarm pinup.” Those are just the ones I heard about. Also, MORE POCKETS IN SKIRTS

31: What kept you sane?

Regiment of klonopin, lithium & propranolol, with some THC and CBD. Chris is also my “fixer” for many problems.

32: Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Sufjan, as always <3 <3

33: What political issue stirred you the most?

45 and all related bullshittery.

34: Who did you miss?

David, Alexis’ son, that lil scamp!!

35: Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2019.

1. don't pick up the phone, You know he's only calling 'cause he's drunk and alone

2. don't let him in, You'll have to kick him out again

3. don't be his friend, You know you're gonna wake up in his bed in the morning

...And if you're under him, you ain't gettin' over him

36: Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Do you not hear me anymore?

I know it's not your thing to care

I know it's cool to be so bored

It sucks me in when you're aloof

It sucks me in, it sucks it works

I guess it's cool to be alone

You never rest

Fighting the battle

Of who could care less

Unearned unhappiness

You're my hero I confess

The landlady was over at the house the other day. She commented, as she almost always does, that the house looks so good. But this time she just kept going on about how Chris and I maintain it so well, that the house looks better than it probably ever has.

I also know that they own several other rental houses in the area, and are entertaining the idea of letting one or two go for more manageability. I can’t pretend that both Chris and I are thinking that the landlady wants to sell us this house.

We love this house. We’ve been here for a few years. The house itself is solidly and beautifully constructed, the quiet, park-like neighborhood is great. Zillow says it goes for roughly $445,000, which is substantially above market for basically anywhere else in the US (except Seattle, where the median house price is closer to $800,000). I know Chris and I could definitely come up with a down payment of at least 15%.

But there comes the questions of buying a house with somebody that I’m not married to, buying a house in this region and market, buying a house at all.

This is all theoretical though. She has not outright said anything, nor have there been any meetings or discussion about financials. But that doesn’t mean that this conversation won’t happen before the end of the year I suspect.

Literal perfect snapshot of my life rn