"i am not a queen i am a khaleesi"

@justang6

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A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all right. I’m *dying* to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.” The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.” The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.” The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is right behind that door.” The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.” The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound. But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk

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reblogged

After Missandei's introduction of Daenerys be like

Jon: *looks at Davos with the "omg make my introduction good please save me" look*
Davos: *long silence*
Davos: Uhh...this is Jon Snow.
Davos: He is the King in the North...
Jon: *looks at Davos with the "say more omg save me" look*
Davos: *silent*
Jon: *internally screaming but trying to look chill af*
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Penguin falls down resulting in best sound ever [x]

oh my god

NOOOOOOO

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aanubis

they all gasped like OHHH

IM CRYING IM PHYSICALLY CRYING HE FALLS AND THERE ALL LIKE WHAAAAWHOA U OK BRO AND HE GETS UP LIKE *SIGH* YEAH ITS FINE

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lanibgoode

Having a bad day? push play, and within six seconds all you will feel is tears of laughter streaming down your face and the stomach cramps of laughing too hard.

This is one of the finest things ever captured on film.

I’m so happy this is back

Pingu is real

It’s like kids cheering when someone breaks a plate in the school dinner hall.

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izhunny

UNMUTE!!!

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lolawashere

WHAT SHE SAID!! UNMUTE AND ENJOY!

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Top 5 midgardian things Thor doesn't relate to/understand

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fkjddjdsklsfdkjsd

1. shark tank. like the show. he watched it once with bruce and they were like “your evaluation is too high, im gonna need more equity to match that im gonna need a 20% stake” and thor was like is this english

2. alexa/siri/any sort of “common” ai. he thinks every form of ai is like jarvis or friday and can carry on a conversation so he’s like “alexa do you ever think about the cosmos, the running river of time, and how even a god like myself is so small? sorry to burden you with this, i just find myself thinking of my brother loki lately and all the things i never said to him” and alexa is like “the temperature is seventy degrees”

3. um teenagers. not even like youth culture or whatever just like asgardian biology is different and he watches peter parker eat a whole pizza and hes like, how is there that much room in such a small body

4. he doesnt understand like merch related to the avengers he cant fathom why little children want toy mjolnirs because he’s like, wouldnt they just feel bad about not having the real working mjolnir

5. he doesnt understand why midgardians are so gd rude!! someones like “pal im walkin here” and hes like “so am i brother we are all on the same team”

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Stephen Strange: What Master do you serve?
Starlord: what master do I serve? What am I supposed to say Jesus?
Me, an intellectual:
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