Hi again I forgot how to blog

I have my period and just impulse bought $70 worth of peel & stick tiles for my kitchen backsplash, as if my body is screeching “you may not be building a baby but you are going to NEST goddammit.”

The other day I was at Trader Joe’s grabbing some more breakfast supplies to keep in my desk, and without much thought I grabbed all the ingredients for “cookie dough oats.”

Cookie dough oats are something I read about on a healthy living blog 5 years ago that, like most food-blogger inventions with cookie dough in the name, are absolutely not cookie dough. It’s raw oats, cinnamon, protein powder, and peanut butter, smushed up in a bowl to the consistency of muesli. Add some raisins and milk and it’s a slightly different, higher protein version of oatmeal for when you’re tired of oatmeal.

I realized this morning that it has been YEARS since I’ve made this, despite it being one of my go-to breakfasts for a while, and I also realized that it was probably because when my ex and I worked together I used to make us breakfast and this was always his favorite. I’d whip up a couple bowls of cookie dough oats and he’d say something sweet like “Chocolate doesn’t belong in breakfast” or “Why didn’t you give me more raisins?” or “This kind of milk is gross.”

I get really affected by bad memories connected to things. I stopped listening to Mayday Parade 8 years ago because I was listening to them when I got assaulted on the subway. I can’t listen to another band I enjoyed from that time because they were rude to me once when I interviewed them. I can’t listen to Charli XCX because she played at the Vegas pool party during an extremely disastrous bachelorette weekend and all I can think about is drunk crying alone in a pool because I was having such a terrible time.

Fuck it, I’m taking back cookie dough oats!

If we use my official time, and assume I really did run 3.1 and not 3.06 (gps seems to have cut the course a teense) then I EVER SO SLIGHTLY ran a pace under 12 minute miles, which is really the best I could hope for with my (lack of) training for this 5k. One of these days I'll gain consistency again.

Trying to get back into a more regular running pattern and somehow I'm getting slower? Oh well.

This was a good use of my time.

Anyone have suggestions for some short (20 mins or less) easy-ish yoga videos online? I’m trying to get back into it but I’m super out of practice- the problem is just that most “beginner” yoga videos are too heavy on the explanation so it ends up being maybe 8 minutes of yoga in 20 minutes. When I'm in good practice I can just put together 20 minutes of flow on my own but right now I need a little guidance!

I forgot to bring socks to the gym but I did 45 minutes on the elliptical + my PT exercises anyway. 🏆

My hip felt twingey last night and this morning, which naturally cast me into a panic because I've been feeling extremely busy and blobby the past few weeks. I finally have some free time for heavy-gymming and kind of stressed out at the thought of spending it resting a weirdly tweaked muscle. I'd packed all my running stuff to do treadmill intervals, but decided to switch to something lower impact (but still wanted to burn a bunch of calories.) So I did this, and then my reliable old PT exercises from my last hip issue, and now I feel a lot better. I probably won't try to run until the weekend because I'm not sure what's going on there, but at least I know I can do something. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This is why I don’t try.

I dragged myself out of bed an hour early and headed to the gym. By the time I got there I only had time for a short run, but it was better than nothing.

I went to take a quick shower before walking to the office...and there was no hot water in the shower. None. It was so cold I couldn’t even hold my hand in it for more than a few seconds, so getting in was out of the question. I had to “shower” by soaking one of my towels in warm water from the sink and trying to wipe my sweat off in the shower stall.

When I go to the gym after work I don’t get home to start dinner til 9 so I don’t eat until 9:30 or 10, but at least I can take a fucking hot shower afterwards.

Can I wear converse to spin class?

I forgot gym shoes because I was trying to actually be on time for work.

I was still 5 minutes late.

Living that oatmeal life.

I normally love recapping resolutions and writing new ones around this time, but I’m feeling mostly broken inside lately so I’m finding it really hard to muster up any pride. I did meet my reading goals, though.

I’m finding it similarly unrealistic to imagine myself setting/accomplishing any goals at the moment, so I’ll keep 2017 resolutions short and sweet:

Perhaps I’ll readdress the concept of setting goals once I’ve accomplished goal #1.