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phantasies.

@a-shy-phangirl / a-shy-phangirl.tumblr.com

Alexandria is my name Find me on my social media's: Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/alexandria.hales twitter:https://twitter.com/alexhalesXxX Snapchat: ahalesxxx
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dontbeanassbutt
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dementia-by-day

Don’t ask someone with dementia if they “know your name” or “remember you”

If I can, I always opt to ditch my name tag in a dementia care environment. I let my friends with dementia decide what my name is: I’ve been Susan, Gwendolyn, and various peoples’ kids. I’ve been so many identities to my residents, too: a coworker, a boss, a student, a sibling, a friend from home, and more. 

Don’t ask your friend with dementia if they “remember your name” — especially if that person is your parent, spouse, or other family member. It’s quite likely to embarrass them if they can’t place you, and, frankly, it doesn’t really matter what your name is. What matters is how they feel about you.

Here’s my absolute favorite story about what I call, “Timeline Confusion”:

Alicia danced down the hallway, both hands steadily on her walker. She moved her hips from side to side, singing a little song, and smiled at everyone she passed. Her son, Nick, was walking next to her.
Nick was probably one of the best caregivers I’d ever met. It wasn’t just that he visited his mother often, it was how he visited her. He was patient and kind—really, he just understood dementia care. He got it.
Alicia was what I like to call, “pleasantly confused.” She thought it was a different year than it was, liked to sing and dance, and generally enjoyed her life.
One day, I approached the pair as they walked quietly down the hall. Alicia smiled and nodded at everyone she passed, sometimes whispering a, “How do you do!”
“Hey, Alicia,” I said. “We’re having a piano player come in to sing and play music for us. Would you like to come listen?”
“Ah, yes!” she smiled back. “My husband is a great singer,” she said, motioning to her son.
Nick smiled and did not correct her. He put his hand gently on her shoulder and said to me, “We’ll be over there soon.”
I saw Nick again a few minutes later while his mom was occupied with some other residents. “Nick,” I said. “Does your mom usually think that you’re her husband?”
Nick said something that I’ll never forget.
“Sometimes I’m me, sometimes I’m my brother, sometimes I’m my dad, and sometimes I’m just a friend. But she always knows that she loves me,” he smiled.
Nick had nailed it. He understood that, because his mom thought it was 1960, she would have trouble placing him on a timeline.
He knew that his mom recognized him and he knew that she loved him. However, because of her dementia, she thought it was a different year. And, in that year, he would’ve been a teenager.
Using context clues (however mixed up the clues were) Alicia had determined that Nick was her husband: he was the right age, he sure sounded and looked like her husband, and she believed that her son was a young man.

This is the concept that I like to call timeline confusion. It’s not that your loved one doesn’t recognize you, it’s that they can’t place you on a timeline.

What matters is how they feel about you. Not your name or your exact identity.

[image: analog clock set to 7:59]

Source: dementiabyday.com
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dontbeanassbutt
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icecoldorangejuice

Having a sibling or three really like….gave you interpersonal skills and moral exercises from an early age that people who were only children had to learn later on, because nothing makes your brain work overtime than having a ride or die relationship with someone who you would suplex through the dining room table in a second if they touched your shit, but you’d also stand up and take the blame for some shit if you knew it wasn’t their fault or stepping in and swinging if they were being bullied by someone else

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ariaste

Also gives you a keenly honed ability to lie, wide-eyed and plausibly and at the drop of a hat, because you definitely had Nothing To Do With This Situation, How Could You Even Think This Of Me, Papá

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spacedaisjes
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play6irl

Reblog in 40 seconds and you will be put on the path to achieve your dreams and find your fortune

WELP.

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xanadontit

Can’t hurt.

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jigglyteenfeedee

Bet

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arizonasugarbaby

I’ve been rolling in the dough lately so it seems like these things are working 🙏🏻

No they literally work

lilyliqueur

I reblogged this the other day and literally got a settlement check from an old job. like LMAO ?????????????????????????? 

i’ve got nothing to lose lol

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losergoals
stranger things meme [3/5 characters]: Mike Wheeler
“I don’t know why I just didn’t tell you. Everyone at school knows. I just didn’t want you to think I was such a wasteoid, you know?”
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drella-in-the-bronx
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keepinginkspots

We maybe have a ghost in our house that has popped up since we’ve had work done on the walls, and random stuff keeps happening but something keeps opening my hamsters cage and leaving it open so I’ve just had to explain to thin air what a hamster is because as my sister pointed out, my house is old af and my ghost probably doesn't know what a hamster is, I’m also leaving it a note in the hopes it can read. 

just to illustrate, I don’t think my ghost means my hamster harm, it’s just confused 

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indigobluerose

Confused ghost just wants to pet the soft.

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