americans: fight over soda vs pop

germans: you are like a little baby. watch this 

[list of 57 different yet equally unsettling words for apple core]

in case anyone though this was exaggerated: here is the list. be prepared.

WHAT EVEN

hi Germany excuse me quick question but what the fuck

Owner fell asleep with her phone in her hand and the lights on again.

MY HEART

To why I started loving you

—So this is me giving a second meaning to the plane scene... I HOPE YOU LIKE IT, IDK. —

Sh: You will look after him for me, won't you? Make sure he won’t hurt himself.

Mary: Don't worry. Just do what you have to do,

I'll keep him in trouble. I’ll look after him.

Sh: That's my girl. Thank you.

Since this is likely to be the last conversation I'll have with John Watson, would you mind if we took a moment? Mycroft, I don’t know what I’m gonna say, but I have to leave knowing I’ve at least tried to make it right.

Jw: So here we are. I can’t believe this is it.

Sh: William Sherlock Scott Holmes. Me neither.

Jw: Sorry? Why are you telling me your name?

Sh: That's the whole of it. Now you know everything about me.

If you're looking for baby names. You can’t say you didn’t even know my name. My real, full name.

Jw: No, we've had a scan, we're pretty sure it's a girl. You’re making it very hard for me.

Sh: Oh, okay. It’s not easy for me either.

Jw: Yeah. Yeah?

You know, actually, I can't think of a single thing to say. There are so many things I would want to say.

Sh: No, neither can I. I know, me too.

Jw: The game is over. So we’re over?

Sh: The game is never over, John. Just because I’m going away it doesn’t mean I’ll stop thinking about you.

But there may be some new players now. But you have Mary now and even if I won’t be there, you’ll still live a happy life.

That's OK, the East Wind takes us all in the end. And that’s okay. You’re even gonna have a kid, what use could I be, anyway?

Jw: What's that? What do you mean?

Sh: It's a story my brother told me when we were kids. I know it was just a story, but hear me out.

The East Wind is a terrifying force that lays waste to all in its path. Would you really want someone so destructive,

It seeks out the unworthy and plucks them from the earth. So selfish and arrogant around your kid?

That was generally me. Someone like me?

Jw: Nice. None of that is true.

Sh: He's a rubbish big brother. That’s why I like you.

Jw: So what about you, then? Are you going to be okay?

Where are you actually going now? Wherever you’re going?

Sh: Oh, some undercover work in Eastern Europe. I’d lie to you, but you seem to catch on pretty fast.

Jw: For how long? How long are you going to last?

Sh: Six months, my brother estimates. My brother says six months.

Sh: He's never wrong. He’s never wrong.

Jw: And then what? And that’ll be it, then?

Sh: Who knows? Yeah.

John, there's something I should say, I've meant to say always and I never have. John, this is something very hard for me to say, I thought it over many times and I hope you can crack my code.

Since it's unlikely we'll ever meet again, I might as well say it now. I’m not ready to tell you this in a straightforward way, but since this is the last time we talk, I need to say it at least implicitly.

Sherlock is actually a girl's name. I love you.

Jw: It's not. I hate this.

Sh: It was worth a try. It’s okay.

Jw: We're not naming our daughter after you. I’m having a kid and you won’t be there.

Sh: Oh, I think it could work. You and Mary will work it out.

To the very best of times, John. I believe in you, John.

words and actions that also mean ‘i love you’

Words

Actions

That’s all I could think of! Feel free to add more in the reblogs or replies, or to correct me about any of them.

If anyone wants, you could put a member and any of these in my inbox, and I’ll write a blurb for you!

8 messages i can’t send you// 4am

-fallinginlove

i’m so done with the way girls in twenties are treated. i’m so done with people who literally create timetable for us. 20- 24  find a guy, 24-26 make him propose to you, 27-29 get married. i’m so done. i’m do not want to get 2 a.m texts from my best friend who is freaking out that she is gonna die alone. i do not want see my 20 years old friend wasting her time on some guys who are not even interested in her. i do not want see us falling for every nice guy who does not look creepy. i do not want to see girls get sad or paranoid just bcos they do not fill in the schedule. you are ok. you should enjoy your life at its fullest and one day you will find 10/10 so do not pursue 6 just because you do not want to be single. it is ok and one day you will find someone. do not split your love with people who does not deserve it. keep it for yourself and when time will come you will know. i know it hurts. i know you wish u could just open part of yourself and release the buzzing love. but not every kind of love is romantic. show it to your family, friends, plants, yourself.

Not a real criticism, just an expansion really, but …  it’s not just the timetables we need to get away from, but the goal itself, I think.  “One day you will find someone,” sounds comforting, but the reason it doesn’t lay fears to rest is because we are all smart enough to know it’s not necessarily true.

My aunt is over sixty, never married, and never, so far as I am aware, ever even had a great romance.  She dated a lot, but never clicked and now seems to have given up.  My mentor is over seventy, divorced her asshole husband more than half her life ago and has never found anyone since.

We all know women (and men) like these.  And because we know them, we know that “one day you will find someone,” is just … hogwash.  Because sometimes you just … don’t.  Or sometimes you do, but he turns out to be a cad.  Or you do and the universe rips you apart in the most unfair way possible.  And because society has us so fixated on finding “our other half” or whatever, we view these women as cautionary tales.

But … 

My aunt trains dogs.  Her schipperke is the national champion for his breed.  She spent so much of her life as a librarian, nurturing the love of books in kids, myself among them.  I ride horses because of her, and it’s one of the very few things I do that makes my soul feel at peace.

My mentor is one of the best criminal defense attorneys in her state.  She has devoted her life to fighting to ensure that everyone gets a vigorous defense.  Because of her countless people have had the opportunity to turn their lives around.  Because of her, they’ve had a life to turn around.  Because of her, the prosecution and the police in her jurisdiction are forced to behave ethically and adhere to the rule of law.  She’s still, even now fighting to abolish the death penalty.  It’s because of her that I am pursuing the life I am.

These women’s lives are not nothing.  In fact they are a whole lot of something, and it makes my heart hurt that I ever, in my dark 3 am’s, thought of their lives as something to be avoided at all costs.

So love your family, your friends, your pets, your gardens.  Love your job or your hobby or your raison d’ etre, whatever it is.  Love sunsets and the smell of rain and yourself, and don’t love these as something to do as a placeholder until the buzzing, romantic love comes, but love these as things worth loving all in themselves.

It’s fucking hard some days.  The dark 3 am’s still come sometimes.  But most days, I am so much more at peace knowing that I am not incomplete or waiting, but that my life, if it ended today, is worth it because of the platonic, familial, friendship love I have shared.  And if the other kind does come someday, that’ll be nice, but it won’t make any of the others less.  It’ll just be caramel sauce on a sundae–tasty and wonderful, but the sundae was perfect without it too.

I needed this today.

i dont really… WANT… to leave tumblr. ive been here since 2011

no other platform has the right format for me to just randomly barf actual thoughts, joaks, and genuine creative content all in the same breath. i dont know how to compartmentalize

every other platform you gotta be a real person. Here you are you’re icon and username and whatever your hyperfixation is at the current moment

I want all of these again

Pooh Bear

I see many Winnie the Poohs at the hospital (aka Winnie aka Pooh aka Pooh Bear), as you may guess.  Many look like this, a bit flat and with small wounds, designed to have a removable shirt:

They come for spas:

New hearts and stuffing:

And plumping up so they have a proper belly again:

Sometimes they look like this:

A bit more loved… or as his person said, in more “desperate condition”.

He also had a spa (not everyone does):

As you may’ve noticed, he needed a new nose and there were several options:

His heart had a pooh on it as well as some magic from a heffalump:

And after a bit of arm and smile surgery, soon he was healthy and ready to fly home:

His person wrote “He looks wonderful!”

The final Pooh I’m going to show you today just flew home yesterday.  He is always called Pooh Bear.  He is 14 years old and showed every year of hugs.  

Here are the photos his person’s mom sent for diagnosis:

As you can see, Pooh Bear was a bit flat and a bit gray.  He came in for a spa:

Got new stuffing and a magical Heffalump heart to preserve a bit of his original stuffing:

And finally was clean and plump and fluffy and ready to fly home:

He could even sit on his own!  His people said his chubbiness was perfect and as I said, he flew home yesterday!

this blog is singlehandedly curing my depression

The biggest dick energy

#same energy

you don’t have to do this alone

Mario Party. Ruining Friendships Since 1998.