CHAPTER 61 [ their first time ]

“ kiss me again, I like it ” I laughed out loud and bowed a second time to kiss him.

“ you’re also interested..Tin..really…I can’t…believe ” ( when Can find out that Tin is also aroused )

“ Tin…will…will it hurt ? ”

After a moment of rest, Can turned to me, face flushed with an embarrassed smile. I never seen a beautiful figure as his, at least if he doesn’t open his mouth and say :

“ can we do it again ? ”

I have to teach him how to 《 feel shameful 》

CHAPTER 56 [ Part 2 ]

“ What are you doing here ? ”

“ Why are you hiding ? ”

“ Why would I hide ? From who ? ”

He laughed

“ Why are you laughing ? ”

“ Just glad you’re thinking about… ”

“ thinking about what ? ”

I really don’t understand him. He’s laughing again.

“ Thinking about me ”

Normally I would firmly say “ you wish ” but now I can only keep silent and avoid his eyes.

“ Don’t touch me . I’m sweaty … I’m dirty. Where are we going ? ” I wanted to make an excuse but he didn’t say anything.

He looked so serious today.

“ Come here ”

“ I can’t go . I have to talk to P ”

“ No, just sit we need to talk ”

( in the car )

“ Can, do you love me ? ”

“ … ” why did he ask me a question like that ?

( Tin POV )

He’s confused that’s a great opportunity to ask him.

I don’t like to text someone whom he dosn’t reply. Can usually answer me immediately. He didn’t saw my message for a whole week .

There are 2 reasons : he’s still hating me, after all I’m the one who is in love with him, or he’s sad because of something else.

“ Is it so ? ” As I finished he opened his eyes widely

“ What’re you saying ? ”

“ Well you know I like you. Sooner or later I’ll ask you. ”

Can scratched his hair and said: “ Oooh !! ”

He suddenly raised his head to look at me “can’t you change your question ?”

I sighed. I also know that getting the answer I want isn’t easy.

“ Will you date me Can ? ”

“ I told you to change the subject not the way you ask me. It’s the same question ”

“ For how long do you want us to last ? ”

I looked at him seriously

Cantaloupe shouted loudly : “ Ae said I’m jealous because of you ”

I listened attentively.

I admit I don’t like the idea of Can mentioning other people, but at least.. this is a good thing

“ Pete also said I care about you … and P'Type said I’m in love…”

“ So ? ” I asked calmly

“ Tin…I don’t understand what they’re saying ”

“ what do you mean ? ”

“ I don’t know if I’m really jealous of you, I don’t know if I care about you more than other people ”

…

“ Why do you think you like me ? ”

“ I’m very happy when i’m with you ” I said the easiest answer…

“ When I’m with Ae, Pete , Pond and my classmates I feel happy ”

My feelings for Can are hard to explain.

With Can I’m more than just happy…

“ You’re my oxygen ”

Huh! No wonder his expression is weird

For me Can is like…Oxygen…I was submerged in the water, it was Can who saved me .

I can’t explain my feelings .

I think I can’t live without Can .

“ I’m not oxygen. I breathe out carbon dioxide . I’ll breathe in ”

“ I just know that I like you ” I sighed

“ I still don’t understand ”

“ But I don’t like it ”

“ Don’t like what ? ”

“ Don’t like when lemon said you’re dating Pete . I don’t like this feeling ”

….

“ I want to be just a friend to you Tin ”

…….

I closed my eyes and clenched my fists. I can’t control my anger and hit the steering wheel.

I don’t want to be just a friend. I want more than that. I want to be a special man in his eyes. I can’t breathe.

CHAPTER 59

The man who says he wants to wash his face is now looking down at the ground, his hands clenched and his legs are slowing down.

“ Can ”

After hearing his name, he couldn’t endure the pain anymore.

He looked at him with teary eyes “ I can’t believe ” .

The listener was sad and immediately open his arms “ Come here ”

This time, Without any hesitation, Can run and hugged Tin tightly, his face feeling the warm shoulder, releasing all the tears he had kept .

“ I lost…I lost ”

“…” the listnener didn’t say anything just patted his trembling shoulders, he was listening carefully.

“Why…Why did we lose…didn’t we play well?” Can started banging his head on Tin’s shoulders

“Why ? I tried hard to train…if I was…I’m not good…because of me, the whole team lost ”

It was his first time playing and he only played for a few minutes. He was about to score but the ball was swept away from him easily. If it was Type he could have scored.

“ You’re not good … You’re the best ”

“ I’m not good I’m the worst . It’s so bad . The whole team lost. Do you hear me ? ”

He was loudly protesting but Tin started smiling.

“ Are you saying people who practice aren’t good ? ”

“ ….. ”

“ You want to say that people don’t need to focus on trying their best ? ”

“ Tin…I don’t know….I don’t know ”

“ You’re very good…at least… in my eyes, you’re the best ”

Perhaps this is the first time for me to comfort others. If he was a stranger, I would turn away, but this man…I can’t leave him crying alone .

“I don’t want to hear compliments. I want to win” said Can while looking at Tin like a child .

Tin’s hand gently wiped the tears from the ‘baby’s face .

“ I hate… I hate it …. it hurts ” said Can and started hitting his chest.

Tin immediately grabbed his hands :

“ I know, how feelings of hatred are ”

Tin’s voice was gentle that made Can more vulnerable to crying.

Earlier, he wanted to sneak into the toilet to cry alone then go back to the team with a smile. But as soon as he saw Tin, he felt that crying in front of him will be okay.

“ I want to cry ”

“ Aren’t you crying ? ”

“ I want to cry more ”

“ then cry ”

“ Tin …I want to cry a lot … cry to forget ”

“ Well you can cry as much you want … just cry to me ”

This tenderness made Can rely on the warmth of his heart, this warmth that can make all the bad feelings go away .

“…I want to cry…I want to cry ”

“ I know…cry…cry all out ”

Being with Tin, Can totally forgot that his team is waiting for him. Leaning against the other chest revealing all the weakness .

He said he’s just a friend.

A friend who can make him cry.

Is there a friend like that ?

To recap …

Chapter 56 : Can rejects Tin’s feeling because he was confused

Tin will ignore Can

Chapter 58 : Can will play a football match and will lose

Chapter 59 : Can will cry in front of Tin

Chapter 60 : Can will ask Tin to sleep with him

Chapter 61 : their first time

Chapter 62 : Can public confession

( I already posted chapter 56 / 59 / 60 / some parts of 61 / 62 )

CHAPTER 60 [ PART 1 ]

( Tin will take Can to eat after the match )

Can couldn’t enjoy the food and suddenly started crying while saying “ I hate it ”

People were looking at them because Can was loud.

Tin sighed and sat next to Can “ First, swallow otherwise you’ll choke ”

Then he gave Can a glass of water.

“ Believe me, I don’t want to eat ” Can rested his head on Tin’s shoulders.

“ then, I’ll take you home ”

( Can hugged him tightly and told him he don’t want to go home because they’ll tease him. He was bragging before the match that he will win for sure )

“ If you don’t want to go home, where do you want to go ? ”

“ To your home ”

“ My house ? ”

“ I…sleep  with you ”

( at this moment, the waitress heard them and dropped the bill )

▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪ ( Can POV )▪▪▪▪▪▪▪

“ Why me ? ”

“ I don’t know . All day you didn’t come to find me. I felt sad like a monkey who lost his bananas. I miss you. You didn’t reply to LINE. Do you want me to be upset. Do you want me to die. I didn’t let anyone else see me, only you. I want to sleep with you. Help me forget about the match ”

I gasped for a long time but he laughed.

“ Why are you laughing ? ”

“ Get off the car, Can ”

“ Huh ”

“ Do you see that convenience store over there ? Go and buy condoms and lubricant gel. I haven’t slept with anyone lately so I don’t have any condoms and we will need gel .. ”

“ So you’ll sleep with me ? ”

“ Don’t let me repeat myself. I’ll count to three. One… ”

Without waiting for him to count, I opened the car door and rushed to the convenience store. The salesman definitely thought I’m crazy, because I picked the condoms and laughed.

I didn’t care who will see me. I was glad he agreed to sleep with me.

( Also Can didn’t know what to buy so he chosed randomly )

CHAPTER 60 [ PART 2 ]

▪▪▪ At Tin’s house ( Tin POV ) ▪▪▪

I know Can is stupid but at least he knows what we’re going to do …

Right ?

“ Tin I’m ready ”

Currently, I’m looking at a fully naked man coming from the toilet. Not even one towel on him.

That idiot came to my room like this .

When he just arrived, he stripped and jumped to my bed. I told him to take a shower first, I can’t sleep with him in his current state.

He listened to me very well and now he appeared in front of me laughing.

“ Can I go to bed now ? It’s cold ”

I was about to explode. I sighed then nodded. Can jumped on my bed then turned to look at me.

“ Hurry up . Come here and make me forget all my sadness.”

“ I haven’t take a shower yet ”

Can grabbed the things he bought from the convenience store and started talking “ I don’t know what you like…so I bought all this…”

“ Aren’t you afraid ? ”

“ I’m scared. But I want to feel pain to forget. so do it ”

I pushed him to lie down on the bed, moving his bangs to look at his white forehead and his double eyelids .

“ I won’t hurt you, but I will…make you so happy that you can forget all your sadness ”

If he wants to forgot the match, I will made him think of me instead .

When I said that, Can smiled and wrapped his hands around my neck “ do it now ”

Then he pulled my head down to kiss me .

I think I lost to this person…

sun + mork // dark blue kiss (2019)

I am crying, Changlix isn’t dead yet. Changlix is rising again. Finally, I can rest in peace.

is haechan touching mark’s lap, or are they holding hands?  (ง ื▿ ื)ว

mark watching haechan in admiration (2017)

changlix au, where changbin is stalker and felix his love.

oH MY GoD

i wish no one knew anything about me