TITLE: “Mourning”
About a week ago, after finishing my most recent “My Maker’s Maker,” it occurred to me, out of the blue, that I ought to make a strip in which Louis leaves a Christmas ball early and returns to his room, where he sits, grieving for the past (and Claudia), prompting Lestat to seek and find him. The overall theme of it was supposed to be something along the lines of “it’s okay to feel sad at Christmas time—loss can really complicate one’s feelings towards traditionally happy times.”
I resisted this. It’s not unusual at all for me to make emotional pieces, but something sat wrong with me about depicting Lestat and Louis grieving at Christmas. So I decided against it, outlined another “My Maker’s Maker” strip, and inked my “VC Gift Exchange” piece with the intent of scanning and coloring it when I got home from work.
I got home, put it in the scanner, and decided to check Tumblr before doing anything else.
The very first thing I saw was a post by @i-want-my-iwtv showing Christopher Rice’s Facebook announcement that Anne Rice had died the previous evening from complications related to a stroke.
Once the initial shock subsided, I immediately thought, “I’ve got to post something.”
What immediately came to my mind was a feeling I’d had when finishing “Blood Communion.” I finished the final passage and thought to myself, “This feels like goodbye.”
And, ultimately, it was.
So I scanned the illustration from the end of “Blood Communion,” typed out its final lines, acknowledged Anne’s death, and posted it. I guess I must have struck a chord, because I woke up later to discover this post has far-and-away the most notes I’ve ever received on a single post ever. It brought me no joy whatsoever.
I opened Youtube, feeling numb, occasionally looking back to Tumblr to see other’s reactions. I like listening to oldies, and I let my playlist play in the background. A lovely song came on: “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?”
Sometime ago, Anne had made a rather sweet post, commenting that she and Lestat had danced to this particular song. She focused on the song’s opening line: “Tonight you’re mine…completely.” It was, in her mind, a perfect way to describe their togetherness.
Then the idea arose in my mind of Lestat realizing that his beloved dancing partner and storyteller of over 40 years was gone.
And my heart broke with a pain that absolutely took my breath away.
When I was finally composed enough to think straight, I knew that this piece, which I had originally decided against, had to be made. This single panel represents the very best I could do. I was absolutely distraught and cried throughout the entire process of creating it. I’m still distraught now, hitting the “post” button.
Lestat and Louis are very sad, but not comfortless. They have each other. And so do we.
I will be back soon with my usual humor, shitposting, and general buffoonery, but I need time. Thank you for understanding.
