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COMMISSIONS ARE CLOSED

@cashasthephonebox / cashasthephonebox.tumblr.com

Please don't come near me with Kent P. Lex, 30, they/them, pan. I obsess over video games, tv shows, movies, cute animals, and hot people.
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Here's the thing about Jareth from Labyrinth right?

He's made up.

That's not necessarily the same thing as not REAL. But he, just like all her friends who show up in her room before her adventure as toys and figurines, exist in relation to her, in response to what she wanted and needed. She told the story and there he was, there he always had been. But she's a teenage girl who doesn't know what she wants yet, and Jareth kind of pays the price.

"but the king of the goblins had fallen in love with the girl, and had given her certain powers." He's an archetypal oxymoron. He's both the dastardly baby stealing villain and the royal love interest trying to relieve the heroine's suffering, Cinderella style. He's fucked either way by being both. She doesn't know if SHE wants to be the villain or the heroine until he shows up and then she decides on the heroine, so he has to sneer and menace and challenge but it's too late for him!! it's too late, The King Of The Goblins Had Fallen In Love With the Girl, he's Cinderella's prince too and he has to try, he gives her a poofy dress and takes her to fucking goblin prom, sweeps her around the room like a music box with perfect posture and room for Jesus.

But it doesn't work buddy, it can't work. You're just a story for a teen girl to grow up in, and as the villain you have to be defeated. He's so complex because his tropes contradict themselves, and he doesn't understand why he has to lose when he was only doing the job he was given. In his last scene he is pale as death with shadows under his eyes, backing away and begging for his happy ending with nonsense mishmash promises that belong to both halves of him.

"I am exhausted from living up to your expectations of me." I'm sure you are, Jareth. No wonder.

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bogleech

Source is SHARKEEE ON TWITTER who posts tons of original amazing wildlife shots and videos but I needed to show you what lamprey look like mating, you won’t regret it especially not when one of them is still so worked up it starts swinging a boulder around with its face

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diversity loss this trans man is just as much of an emotionally unavailable avoidantly attached brick as any cis guy

he has a pussy yes but does he have a heart. post cancelled that sounds like a taylor swift lyric

my boy he has a pussy but he doesn't have a heart

he's playing games with me just like i'm mario from kart

i'm a published writer btw

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Mods? Take him to the stump of his favorite childhood tree.

Mods, make him busy during a friends planned trip so he misses out on the new inside joke.

Mods… change the smell of his parents house.

look boss, our quarterly "subjection to the brutalities of the Absurd" budget is almost blown already. can we not just shoot this one twice in the back of the head and call it a day?

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klapollo

"i'm literally tweaking" "are you restarted" "you sound acoustic right now" "this has crackhead energy" "my ex is such a narcissist" "i'm going nonverbal for an hour" "intrusive thoughts won"

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Just give me the hysterectomy and oophorectomy before I start setting things on fire

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date idea we just fuckin decompose into the forest floor and return to the dust from whence we came

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