Anxiety really really gets in the way of work lol I can’t properly focus on working if I’m focusing this hard on breathing deeply / trying not to hyperventilate

the anxiety is getting so hard to cope with tbh

it’s been a while since I had to pop this many pills to try and pre-empt and prevent panic attacks because ain’t nobody got time for that crap there is work to be done

need to hang in there a few months more please

My question is how does anyone work consecutive 3ams and stay sane and functioning without drugs?

It’s time to choose my next department and I told my dad I wasn’t keen on corporate because it has longer hours than what I’m already having (here, most people consider ending at 1am late; in corporate, I don’t think so). He essentially told me I shouldn’t expect work life balance unless I am wildly successful or have no ambition and boy that was brutal. Is being made utterly stressed out and miserable by insufficient sleep and missing weekends having no ambition? Yeah I have no ambition and I’m clearly part of the strawberry generation.

I have a perpetual fear that I’m doing everything wrong, which based on feedback is definitely not the case, but it lingers nonetheless and I need to GET RID OF IT.

It’s a difficult balance to strike. I need to care less so I (hopefully) get fewer panic attacks and literal nightmares about work. I also need to keep caring to do as well as I possibly can.

Life’s hard.

stopped working to call and talk to my bf before he slept on Saturday night and he didn’t stop gaming on the call haha ok good night I’m going back to work then.

Another 90-hour week, am tired and anxious and sick of it all.

I had my mid-seat appraisal yesterday (today? It’s 3am) and it went very well.

I’m so tired.