he chastely dropped his eyes

Qui-Gon gets necromancied by Dooku for Reasons, but instead of being convinced to join the Seps as the dear Count planned... Qui-Gon goes "oh cool, free grad student" and kidnaps Ventress on his way out of Serreno so he can fix all of That

have you considered: Dooku fucks up and resurrects All of his dead children? Qui-Gon Jinn, Rael Alveross, and the bad bitch herself Komari Vosa yoink Asajj Ventress out of the Seppies and off to Adventure while pettily dismantling their master's plots bc he was annoying and sided with the man that killed them/got them killed (qui and rael) or killed them himself to prove his worth to that brother killer (komari). dooku, having fucked up real bad and no longer having control of this shuttle, races off after them to try and contain the black hole of chaos his padawans all together make. something something Yoda lineage rat race to break the empire across the galaxy

“they were roommates” this, “they saved each other” that, how about “you killed me by making your novel so shitty that i rage-hyperfixated myself to a vague and undescribed death, i killed you with my rage-hyperfixation comments that made you laugh so hard you ramen-electrocuted yourself and we both ended up in the same other world only to marry the demonic op versions of each other”??? get on cumplane’s level everyone

*crawls out of my -8 degrees exhaustion nest* ok but au where cumplane transmigrate into luo binghe (airplane) and mobei-jun (cucumber) instead because System thought it would be funnier.

only only only, they are still and shivering coward hamster boy (luo airplane) and his angriest black powder fan pretending to be Chill And Normal and overcorrecting into Terrifying Frost Bitch Whose Soft for Luo Binghe (cucumber).

System A: this is a disaster. they are disasters. why did I agree to this. System B: because you love me and this job is boring and sucks. plus: they can't break this world worse than the originals System A, watching Shang Binghe drag behind Shen Qingqiu as he clings to his ankle, sobbing: Are you sure about that??

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yall ever see a fictional character n be like "this is my rotten little man and i encourage his rotten little shenanigans"

I think the message of Howl’s Moving Castle is that in order to maintain a successful relationship with some kind of fucked up wizard, you must find it in yourself to also be some kind of fucked up wizard.

See, I don’t think that’s the case. Certainly, Sophie’s magic is often more practical than Howl’s, but if you think that the practicality of one’s magic is a reasonable measure of how good a fucked up wizard is at being a fucked up wizard, you don’t understand fucked up wizards.

By some metrics, Sophie is a more fucked up wizard - Howl would never mess something up by accident! But here’s the thing, they complement each-other. Sophie is practically-oriented, but she’s not always competent to do what she intends, nor does she know what she’s doing. Howl always knows what he’s doing and why, and it’s usually useless bullshit for terrible reasons. Howl knows what he is intimately. He knows his strengths and his weaknesses and he knows that he’s got a spine like wet, single ply tissue paper. Sophie complements this by doing whatever it is she sets her mind to, but having exactly zero capacity for self-reflection (or if she does it’s through a funhouse mirror)

Your honor, they’re both a better fucked up wizard than the other, just how they’re supposed to be. 

actually I just looked it up and dejarik is apparently space chess and NOT space poker which means qui gon has definitely told people he has a lot on his mind and needs to go process it quietly alone only for them to walk in on him and hour later to see him intently playing chess against himself like a nerdy seven year old who keeps being toted along to parties by his parents who can’t find a babysitter

I THOUGHT YOU MEANT SABACC WAS CHESS. Hahaha. I just imagined Han Solo being REALLY into the Corellian leader boards and betting on who will win on which checkmate.

actually the funniest possible explanation for Qui-Gon only talking to Yoda when the Jedi are already screwed is that he’s been trying to talk to them for years and Yoda’s only finally listening to his weird Qui-Gon hallucination because he’s getting REAL fed up with all the younglings who keep having nightmares about a tall man standing at the foot of their bed and staring at them

but why willow, you ask, has everyone been ignoring him all these years if he keeps trying to talk to them? wouldn’t they see him as a messenger from the force?

and to that I answer: do you REALLY think qui gon didn’t threaten to haunt most of them at least once in his life. do you really think they didn’t hear him desperately trying to get their attention and assume this was just him getting his posthumous revenge

it’s even better if, post-purge, some imperial officer who used to work with the Jedi says something about the temple being haunted by a tall man who stands around, just in the corner of your eye, and wears long cloaks

now WHO, you ask, do we know that is ridiculously tall, stands around ominously, and wears a long cloak? WHO might wander about the imperial palace, fulfilling the role of our dearly departed ghost? I think you know who

how many times do you want to bet a poor aide has been wandering around the imperial palace (it turns out a uniform color scheme of black, grey, and children’s hospital red is NOT conducive for finding your way around) only to see Vader looming in the corner of their eye, and flat out running because they think they’ve seen the ghost of Master Jinn come back to haunt them. (considering Vader’s propensity for strangulation, running might not be such a bad move after all)

#star wars#qui-gon shows up on mortis#and Ahsoka#(who grew up with him occasionally being accidentally terrifying)#shrieks and points at him and shouts YOUUUU NO YOU CAN'T BE HERE (via @mandaloriandy)

counterpoint: Ahsoka shows up on Tatooine, sees Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan talking, and there's a single very charged moment right before she shouts YOU

Jedi Apprentice Characters | Tahl, Siri Tachi, Tallisibeth Enwandung-Esterhazy (Scout), Vokara Che, Bruck Chun, Xanatos du Crion, Granta Omega, Jenna Zan Arbor

Terminal Hanaki? Boring. Chronic Hanahaki? Exciting.

Not enough chronic illness in fanfic. Shout-out to my folks who spend 6-8 weeks of the year in the hospital.

Prof you fucking genius is it seasonal? Like it happens in spring cause the flowers bloom? Imagine it hitting hanahaki season and looking around a room and seeing whose missing, who’s out on sick leave, thr curiosity the DRAMA

It’s like how everyone with autoimmune disorders disappears during flu season! Except with even more drama.

[http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=539]

#this is honestly how I initially thought hanahaki in fic worked #coughing up flowers for years because you won’t cop to your feelings? #that’s the stuff #the dying thing puts on really uncomfortable pressure for me #like ‘love me back or I’ll die’ is uncomfortable as hell for me #whereas ‘ADMIT YOU’RE IN LOVE YOU JUST COUGHED UP A BOUQUET!’ #hanahaki-suffering person: ‘no’ THIS IMMEDIATELY IMPROVES THE ENTIRE TROPE!  I had really disliked Hanahaki because it’s almost like the other person - if they’re a good person - is sorta blackmailed into either having feelings or being responsible for your death which is Not Romantic, but I can totally get down for FEELIGS made into an aggravating physical metaphor that you could potential deal with if you’d either confront them or get therapy or something.

This puts the song “I Won’t Say (I’m in Love)” in a completely new light.

I am in awe at how much this tweak changes the trope of hanahaki from something I quietly detest from a distance into something I would gleefully read and giggle about to others.

Honestly I don’t even think it’s even the removal of the death thing (like that’s certainly helpful, but you can probably keep it, if you need it for the Drama) that saves it, so much as it is the idea that the problem is caused purely by you not admitting your feelings, rather than the other person not sharing them.

Like, in the standard version of Hanahaki, the point is that the disease is caused by unrequited love, and the afflicted end up coughing up increasingly large amounts of flowers, until either they suffocate or the other person returns their feelings.

A lot of versions do require a confession on top of that, but fundamentally the most important thing is the object of your affections developing specifically romantic feelings for you. Or you die.

As an aro person, I’m sure I don’t need to explain why this trope is uncomfortable for me, considering that it basically paints me as a potential death trap.

Plus some stories also feature ‘The Surgery’, which removes the roots of the flowers from the victim’s lungs, thus saving their life, but in the process makes them incapable of romantic love, which is treated as the highest tragedy.

Chronic Hanahaki on its own would still kind of have this problem, it’s just toning it down a bit— rather than being responsible for your death, your crush is instead just responsible for your continued pain/discomfort and frequent hospital visits. Better, but still kind of icky.

Chronic Hanahaki (that could still be potentially terminal in the long term, if you need extra drama) caused by not saying your feelings aloud, regardless of how the other person feels, on the other hand?

Beautiful. Great metaphor for the real effects that repressing your emotions can have on your body. Lots of dramatic potential.

Like, obviously there’s your bog-standard “I love you but don’t believe that you love me, so I will choose to suffer tragically alone rather than risk making you feel bad for not loving me back” thing that the Hanahaki genre was made for, but there’s room for more here as well.

Especially if you expand it to be about supressed emotions in general, rather than just romantic love.

For example:

Recently read a fic that changed the hanahaki trope to ‘coughs up petals refuting person’s lies’ with the amount of petals correlating to the severity of the lie and uhhhhh lemme tell you how having the character cough of a flood of petals all saying ‘yes you do’ right after said character declares they “don’t care” was *chef’s kiss*

Facades! by Paul Sabado

Not even the Jedi training could make Grogu forego the frog craving