today i will deny god

idk something like this

Thinking about this @extasiswings post speculating about Bobby and Eddie and 7B...

While the fire that killed Bobby's family has been central to his story from the beginning, the focus of his healing in present day has been focused on his children and on all the people who died.

We started our journey with Bobby reckoning with the masses — his book of absolution. And we've seen him reckon directly with the deaths of his children, eventually allowing himself to be a father again, to be loved by May and Harry.

But I don't believe we have ever once heard Bobby talk specifically about his wife who died. In all these years.* And we know nothing about what happened between Bobby and his wife, before.

Bobby and Athena almost dying together, Bobby revealing just how haunted he still is? Norman commenting on Bobby and Athena being each others' second marriages, asking Bobby if he's happy? Bobby saying "yes," but looking trepidatious, at best?

Bobby being the one to invoke Shannon in his talk with Eddie about Catholic guilt and his hamster wheel of romantic pursuits that failed before they even started? Eddie, still stuck in a doom loop with Shannon's ghost? Bobby, whose marriage was also breaking before Marcy died? Bobby and Eddie both having worked so hard on healing themselves, fighting to be better, for themselves. But still not quite able to choose happiness, precisely because of the shame and guilt at failing their partners, long before their deaths?

Bobby and Eddie, the Practicing vs. Lapsed Catholic. Both seeking absolution from dead spouses who will never be able to give it to them. How, if Bobby and Eddie are ever to choose to fully live? Choose to allow themselves to be loved and happy? They have to find a way to forgive themselves.

Oh hell yes I see the vision.

*Please correct me if I'm wrong here!

So, Step Nine is all about forgiveness: seeking thee forgiveness of others, and forgiving yourself. Bobby can't actually get forgiveness from the people he believes he has harmed the most. Neither can Eddie. Because they are dead.

Bobby (and maybe Eddie?) finally allowing himself absolution? Reckoning with the truth that they ultimately have to give it to themselves? My god, this is going to be good.

I know we all think Aziraphale is gonna come back from heaven dearly missing wine and food and good music but I think he's gonna come back and immediately crawl under a blanket because he is severely overstimulated by the fucking Big Light energy in heaven.

Those fluorescent overhead lights and the sheer brightness of this place absolutely do not mesh with the autisms, I mean look at his bookshop!! Dim and muted. Poor thing

Poor thing, indeed. Crowley doesn’t even make him do the apology dance when he comes back.

✨️Joana Indi and the Queen of Egypt ✨️

i was playing scrabble and i had a B, U, R, G, E, and R and i thought “aha burger, one who burgs, but my mom will never accept that as a word” but then i remembered burger is actually a word

one time I played the word “am” and I thought, they can totally let that slide because of AM radio and A.M time.

then i remembered 

Scrabble does things to your mind that you can never come back from.

I once was playing and put down ‘cow’ but in my mind I was saying it so it rhymed with ‘crow’ and I told my friend that it might not be a real word but I’m playing it and he can’t stop me and he looked me right in the eye and said it like how ‘cow’ is supposed to be said and I was so mad at myself I nearly flipped the board.

My brother played the word ‘scrabble’ and my mom said, “I actually don’t think that’s a word.” And I said, “yes it is? ‘scrabbled eggs’???”

One time my mom played “early,” and I was like: “What does that mean? Resembling an earl?”

“studies have shown”

WHAT STUDIES, WHO CONDUCTED THEM, WHERE ARE THEIR RESULTS, CITE YOUR SOURCES

"scientists say"

WHO ARE THESE SCIENTISTS, ARE THESE CLAIMS PEER-REVIEWED, IS THERE A CONCENSUS IN THE SCIENTIFIC COMMUNITY

and crucially WHO WAS FUNDING THIS RESEARCH

Okay Walter White was actually pretty funny as a character bc he was so toxic that seasoned drug lords were like I cannot work w this man I have to put my mental health first

you bottle Miette??

You crush Miette like the grape?

brick up mother in basement for ONE THOUSAND YEARS

by the love of god Montressor!

please watch this tiktok (x)

There’s no way to tell where this goes.

If you know anyone who seems really chill to the point of being virtually indestructible, like nothing could ever bother them in any way, could get hit by a train and just shake it off and be totally fine, laughing it off as soon as they've dusted themselves off and stopped bleeding, but who occasionally just randomly falls apart to complete fucking smithereens with seemingly no cause nor warning, only to get back up again a few minutes/hours/days later like "ok yeah I'm fine again that was weird lmao", and you've ever wondered what the fuck is up with that:

They are actually not ok and most likely are not ok at any point. The whole "hardiest person you know who just collapses randomly sometimes" thing isn't a deliberately constructed façade, as a matter of fact it might be something that they actually personally believe themselves to be. But in reality this is somebody who's either unintentionally learned or has been deliberately trained to hide negative emotions and mask symptoms at all costs, as the #1 priority that goes over any other survival needs.

So even though it may look like they go from 1 to 100 completely at random and unpredictably, and then swing right back again to being totally fine, you have no way of knowing how long they've been at 95% before the last line of defense broke down and the system collapsed. And once they flip back up, odds are that they just managed to scrape their shit back together again just enough to get their backup masking systems running. The "check engine" light never turned on because the wire was clipped years ago.

If this is you, this is your callout to seek some sort of help. I'm telling on everyone in this room including myself.

Every engine failure is "unpredictable" and "random" if you've taped over the Check Engine light.

the world is a better place with trans women in it

I'm not someone who generally soapboxes on Tumblr. I don't particularly enjoy internet discourse or picking fights with other fans. But after following all the discourse of the last two days, I felt compelled to say something that I hope will make at least some small amount of difference.

I think the move to WatcherTV is a good thing for Watcher Entertainment. I actually kind of saw it coming - the changes to YouTube ad revenue in the last couple of years have made it much less profitable for creators, not to mention unstable (from YouTube's ability to change the rules on them without warning, as well as the constant threat of demonetization for saying the wrong thing in a video). That's no way to run a sustainable business, and the best of Watcher's shows have always felt more like television than YouTube. They've also talked openly at various points within the last four years about their desire to create a network that can be a home for launching other creators, and to make the shows they want to make, they need a more stable income than they're able to get with the YouTube/Patreon model.

All of this was very clear to me from their most recent video, and I was completely taken aback by the level of anger, hurt and vitriol it caused among other fans. It made me realise that I'm significantly more willing, able or both to see things from Watcher's point of view than a large number of other people, and it's been profoundly depressing.

I think Watcher has definitely misstepped in how this announcement was handled. They wildly misjudged the mood of their audience - but I can see why they did it. For them, this is a change they were wildly excited about. It'll bring them complete creative freedom and increased financial stability. It's clear from the video that this is what they've always wanted, and when they found they couldn't do it on YouTube, they looked for another way. They knew they would lose some of their audience share. Probably, most of it. To me, it's incredibly telling about just how precarious and unrewarding YouTube monetization actually is that they feel releasing videos to a fraction of their audience is a better bet than continuing to depend on YouTube to stay afloat.

One thing that's become clear to me among all the rage and hatred is that many people seem to think Watcher have broken a promise to them. A promise to continue releasing all their videos to YouTube, nominally free to watch, that requires them to stagnate creatively, be unable to build a sustainable future for themselves and their employees, and remain beholden to sponsor slots featuring sketchy products (not to mention YouTube's in-video advertising). But Watcher never actually made any such promise. Nobody is owed free "content", and Watcher have said that they can't afford to keep making everything free if they're going to make the shows they really want to make. And to the people who think they should compromise to make sure it stays free - well, there's no right or wrong here, of course, but ultimately you're going to have to accept that what you want for Watcher and what Watcher want for themselves are actually different things.

It hurts, to part ways with something you love. I don't want to devalue that at all. There's grief to be processed for a lot of people, and as long as they're doing that in their own time and space and not trying to make Watcher responsible for their emotions, I have no problem with it.

What I do have a problem with, however, is the people who are lashing out at Watcher directly for making a decision they don't agree with, and demanding Watcher answer for their own pain and anger. Who are attacking other fans and weaponizing social justice language to try and position themselves as moral authorities in the discussion, and implying in the process that the right of team of independent creatives to be paid fairly for their work is less important than their own right to view it for free. Who are placing all the blame for the decision on Steven while absolving Shane (and frequently Ryan, though particularly Shane) from their own part in this decision, thereby implying that Shane and Ryan have no agency in the company they co-founded with a mutual friend of several years (which is rather insulting to the two of them, in my opinion). That's not only conspiracy thinking, it's racist.

I don't know Steven personally, but from being deep in the fandom for four years now, I know that he's an incredibly kind and sincere person who really lives his own ideals. It's him that's taken Watcher as far as it has, putting his own creative aspirations largely aside to run the business side of things, which Shane and Ryan, God love 'em, were really not capable of. By his own admission, he's a little awkward and doesn't always say exactly the right thing the first time around, but he always listens and learns. In short, he's human, and the way he's being spoken about right now by many people, both on social media and this website, is nothing short of disgusting.

If this post makes you mad, I invite you to sit with it and ask yourself why. If you think Watcher should answer for the way you're feeling; if you feel Steven is somehow more culpable than Shane or Ryan in this decision, and are looking for reasons to justify that feeling. If you can't see the difference between a small, independent company like Watcher wanting to make themselves financially stable and creatively free, and any multinational media company. Why you feel Watcher don't deserve to be paid fairly to make the shows they want to make, irrespective of whether you personally are willing or able to pay for them.

One criticism I've had of Watcher for a long time now is that I think they have actually let themselves remain too beholden to their fans and their opinions. I believe they care about and value their fanbase a great deal, and as a result, they've provided too much personal access to fans, and made apologies when they didn't actually do anything wrong, simply because people were angry and upset. Those mistakes are now coming home to roost. They were complicit in allowing their fans to believe that they would do and make whatever the fans wanted, and it's been a harsh awakening for a lot of people to find that's not true after all.

I think it will be good for Watcher to have increased financial stability and creative freedom. I think it will be good for them to build a little more distance between themselves and their often volatile fanbase, and give us a little less of themselves, so they can put that time and energy into art and creation. I hope that once the initial backlash has passed, many of us will move forward on that journey with them.

For those who can't afford or are otherwise unable to subscribe to WatcherTV, I want to shout out @prettyghoul's initiative to pair fans who'd like a free WatcherTV subscription with other fans who'd like to gift one to them. For those who are lucky enough to have some spare disposable income, I urge you to join me on the gifting side.

If you read all of this, thank you; I can assume we're both here because we love Watcher. My hope for this fandom is that we can start to extend ourselves and everyone at Watcher even a fraction of the grace that they have always extended to us.

the worst part about cardio is the laundry

“ancient Greeks exercised naked for spiritual or sexual reasons” no they exercised naked because they didn’t own automatic washing machines

This is galaxy brain thinking

㋡🥀