Stuck in Time

new advanced pegrancy test that can tell whether you're pregnort, pregananant or even gregnant

every fucking time I see this I miss the "7 month old" part, then when I see the image I fucking lose it. god fucking dammit

Can’t believe im adult now. Sometimes I feel like a teletubbie with a credit card.

On my way to buy groceries

what part of “do not spend money” do i not understand

no brain november. just take it out

i don’t have a nervous system. i am a nervous system

TUMBLR PLEASE I WAS TRYING TO SHOW THIS

Two things: 1.) I'm actually crying. 2.) this is what it feels like getting hash browns at McDonald's

There is no greater comfort in this world than dipping good bread in good soup

Same energy

people get mad at me when they ask me "What's your zombie apocalypse game plan?" and I'm like "look, man, if there truly is no hope, like this is just the world we live in now, I'ma kill myself. Not like let the zombies get me, 'cause I don't wanna be a zombie, so maybe like shoot my brains out or something."

Then they usually ask why to which I answer, "That is not a world I want to live in.

How I feel when my sneakers do the squeaky thing against the floor

I found this on tiktok and I laughed so hard so I thought I’d share on here

It’s so chaotic I love it

just so you guys are all aware, the only reason gritty exists is allegedly because the NHL made a rule that every team HAD to have a mascot and were apparently assholes about it. so the fliers made him as a chaotic fuck you. hell the first tweet made on his official account was a "sleep with one eye open" threat towards another mascot for making fun of his design

are we not going to talk about how he launched an entire sheetcake into that man’s face, probably killing him?

He also collects crystals

I fucking love Gritty.