September 1st.

anyone else cryin in the club today

Harry Potter/Avengers AU

The Avengers are a team of Witches and Wizards fighting against the Dark Lord Thanos. 

Tony is the mad Wizarding inventor who is a genius with a wand. Bruce is a part-time healer, full-time shape-shifting werewolf. Clint and Natasha are Unspeakables. Thor is a Quidditch beater. And Auror Steve has one hell of a shield charm. 

(Oh, and Loki is a Death Eater, which no one is surprised about)

Just needed to add an imperio’d Bucky as the Winter Sorcerer and Peggy in Steve’s compass…

Oh! And Peter going to Hogwarts having Harry Potter like adventures. And Mad Eye Fury is Head of the Department of Mysteries…

And T’Challa, who is from the completely magical kingdom of Wakanda (and has an Animagus that is a black panther). And Scott, who has been incarcerated in Azkaban.

Oh, and I missed Quidditch Warrior Thor the first time (who usually prefers being a beater) so here he is with Wanda, who is a defected ex-Death Eater

Happy 1st of September!

19 years later is today!

Honestly, Canada, now you’re just rubbing it in our faces.

i’m reading a very manly 1950s account of a hunt for el dorado but i’m thirty pages in and the narrator has already described his traveling companion as “handsome” 4 times, “extremely handsome” twice, “exceedingly handsome” once, his voice as “quietly husky” and “a husky whisper,” his fingers as long and deft, his body as “tall and cat-like,” and his eyes as some variation of ice-blue at least three times.

just men being dudes. dudes being pals. it’s great. this is great.

“Ever since he had aimed that gun at my throat, I had liked him immensely. And now I liked him even better.”

oh my god

“I awoke when a beam of light fell across my eyes. Jorge had come into my room carrying a lighted candle.

‘I’m going with you,’ he said quietly.

‘I can’t pay you.’

He smiled. ‘I thought I was a partner?’”

OH MY GOD

according to apparently every adaptation of a search of el dorado, i think we can conclude that maybe the real el dorado was the homosexuality we found along the way

There he go

i knew where he was the whole time. i wasn’t fooled.

@commandercait

@pyrrhy @feynites

@goose-sama

me: *misses my train by 6 seconds* me: if i didnt stop to look at that bird that one time when i was 10 i would have been 6 second ahead in life and this wouldn’t have happened.

3 things Jesus' love will never do

Three things the grace and love of God will never do:

• Will never leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3) • Will never reject you (John 6:37) • Will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)

So basically, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you

Glass pen and glow ink drawing. Via Peter Draws.

FUCKING WHAT

This is some Disney’s Atlantis magic

do people wear glasses during sex or is it just like you’re blind and everthing’s a surprise

we turn off the lights so our partner doesn’t noticed we are basically echolocating everytime we moan

ECHOLOCATING

okay i’ve just had such a perfect idea for the layout of a wedding ceremony that i drew a diagram and will now describe it

so a traditional set up for a ceremony would look like this, with the audience lined up in front of the couple, and divided in the middle to make a path for the bride to come down and be given away by her father to the groom

instead, i propose (ohhh puns) a set up more like this:

where the audience is on either side (which halves the distance that the farthest person is from the action) and at the same time you can have each half of the couple come down aisles on opposite sides and both be given away by their parents to each other (which takes away all the gross sexist and hetero-normative crap)

just… isn’t that way better???

That and it looks like the way an audience sits for a concert or a game “YEAH GO TEAM KISS THAT BRIDE WOOO” Or it looks like they’re meeting in the middle for a throwdown Both are good

TWO PEOPLE ENTER.

ONE COUPLE LEAVES.

WELCOME TO MATRIMONY.

LET’S GET READY TO ROMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCE

Where does the person marrying you stand? Or do they not stand at all…

If I ever come home 🏡 and saw my future son 👦playing with a Barbie doll💃😱😱😱, you best believe I'm gonna snatch that doll right out his hands 😡😡😡👏👏👏and replace it with a Yasmin doll 💁because we are a Bratz™ household with a passion for fashion 👗👠💅💅💅and we will not tolerate Barbie's lack of lips 👄 and jointless knees under my roof 🏠😤😤😤💯💯💯 Smash that mf like button if you too refuse to let Mattel's chief witch into your household 😤😤😤

George: well it happened, Jerry! Someone made a callout post about me!

Jerry: you mean you’re problematic?

George: I’m problematic, Jerry!!!