Love feels like war.

From: darkpencil013@gmail.com To: lacrosse0114@gmail.com 

Yes I do. In people’s mind. It’s a amazing thing, If you are one of the lucky once, you have imagination. I know it’s not real, I’m not that crazy. I just really think that people who has imagination are luck. Because they they are able to see things other people can’t. I believe in that.  You are very predictable mr ‘prince’ 

 - Alex 

From: lacrosse0114@gmail.com To: darkpencil013@gmail.com

You’re telling me that you don’t have imagination. I’m pretty sure that is something we all have, I think that’s the only thing we humans actually have in common other than the fact that we need to breathe. You just don’t know how to use yours. 

Am not. 

                  - Prince 

From: darkpencil013@gmail.com To: lacrosse0114@gmail.com 

Don’t really believe in luck, and bad luck. Things are like they are, it’s just like that. The world, if you know what I mean. Only have one life, so hope you live it good enough.  Guessed you would say something like that  - Alex 

From: lacrosse0114@gmail.com To: darkpencil013@gmail.com

Why am I not surprised? Do you believe in anything at all? You’re one negative Nelly for someone who just in high school, you know. I don’t know your life and I don’t need to, but you can’t be so negative and grouchy. Come on. 

Why is that? 

                                             - Prince 

From: darkpencil013@gmail.com To: lacrosse0114@gmail.com

No? I’m pretty sure I’m not. 

I don’t work at Walmart.         - Alex 

From: lacrosse0114@gmail.com To: darkpencil013@gmail.com

What a poor unfortunate soul. But I mean, if all of us were good looking, it would be boring and then everyone would be just normal. Who would want that? Tough luck. Maybe in your other life. 

Good, no one deserves that. 

                       - Prince

From: darkpencil013@gmail.com To: lacrosse0114@gmail.com 

Whatever, whatever. Don’t need to tell me you know. Never said it was wrong. If it works for you, it works for you. 

Everything-kind-of-store    - Alex

From: lacrosse0114@gmail.com To: darkpencil013@gmail.com

Well, someone is not as beautiful and talented as me and they just sound bitter. (hint: it’s you) 

So you work at Walmart? They sell everything. 

                                                  - Prince

From: darkpencil013@gmail.com To: lacrosse0114@gmail.com

If you are the best person in the world in everything; you don’t go around saying it just because it’s true. You are more then full of yourself then. But hey, don’t worry lots of people tolerate that kind of stuff 

Could not be that then.     - Alex 

From: lacrosse0114@gmail.com To: darkpencil013@gmail.com 

I’m not the best person, I am a great person with many talents and almost criminal good looks. And I just know I am. Is that wrong of me?? No because it’s better than acting oblivious. 

What do you sell? 

                                      - Prince

From: darkpencil013@gmail.com To: lacrosse0114@gmail.com

You seem very full of yourself, do you know that? Well, I hope you do one day just that.  At a store, nothing too much interesting. Don’t think you’d be in that kind of store so.   - Alex 

From: lacrosse0114@gmail.com To: darkpencil013@gmail.com

It’s not being full of yourself if it’s actually true, you know. I’m just stating facts here. 

Is it a sex shop? Not that I wouldn’t be interested, but. 

                                             - Prince 

From: darkpencil013@gmail.com To: lacrosse0114@gmail.com

Why would you be sneaky? What kind of car is it? I like car. Sort of. Maybe you could be an actor then? Since you are not allowing yourself to be you around your family and friends. Oscar one day? Well, maybe you might just get it.  Not too much, the normal things I suppose. School, work and everything between that.    - Alex 

From: lacrosse0114@gmail.com To: darkpencil013@gmail.com

I’m not telling you, but it’s a pretty sweet car. Such a beauty. I could be an actor, I could be many things actually. I got a bright future ahead of me and hopefully away from my friends and family, well, only the ones  that are closed minded and what not. 

You work? Where? or at least, what type of work is it?  You need a more interesting life. 

                               - Prince of Honesty. 

From: darkpencil013@gmail.com To: lacrosse0114@gmail.com

So. I wasn’t really sure if I was going to write this or not; but here I am doing it so guess I ended up doing it. Hey, I’ve been kind of busy doing things; and I also wasn’t sure if this thing would work for me; but I will try. You seem nice, so why not. What’s up? You been up to anything fun lately? 

 - Alex

From: lacrosse0114@gmail.com To: darkpencil013@gmail.com

I seem nice? That’s a first, but then again we’ve only been talking through the internet and you haven’t given me enough material to be snarky yet. I’ve been good, nothing much have been happening other than my usual duties as a student of high school. I did get a fancy new car, but I haven’t been able to actually go and get it from the dealership. My parents thought it would be a good idea to get me one for being an outstanding (and straight haha) son. I like to think that it was like an Oscar and I just won ‘Best Actor’ for lying to my parents and making them believe I am actually a good kid. Jokes on them, I have a spiffy car. 

What’s up with you?

                                          - Prince 

From: darkpencil013@gmail.com To: lacrosse0114@gmail.com

Didn’t mean, to know what you have and are; just that you should not dwell on things. It helps that you are smart, but I’m not one to think it helps to be good looking. It’s potetos, potatos really. –– but if that’s what you got going for you, then hooray! I do get your point, and sure you have to do some things; part of it I suppose.         - alex 

From: lacrosse0114@gmail.com To: darkpencil013@gmail.com

You’re a weird one, you know that right?

 - Prince

From: darkpencil013@gmail.com To: lacrosse0114@gmail.com

If you just think about the future, you will forget to just be in the moment and then the future will be here already and you missed a lot of times you could have just been YOU. Not some businessman you became because of you parents, or a model because it was what you wanted; just be you for a moment; and remember that, that single moment is just a split second of your life that truly don’t last that long. It’s over before you know it.  Yes, I do know what you mean. 

        - Alex 

From: lacrosse0114@gmail.com  To: darkpencil013@gmail.com

From what fortune cookie did you get that from? That was so generic-feel-good advise. Haha. Thanks, I guess but I do live in the moment enough and I am always me because I am aware of how great, talented, smart AND good looking I am. I am more than a triple threat. But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t think about your future and what path you want to take and some paths take preparation and take some requirement. Like you can’t say “I want to be a basketball player” one day and never ever had touched a basketball in your life. You see what I am saying? Just like with people who want to be doctors, you can’t just chose to be one in your senior year of college when your grades are shit. It’s something you have to work on. 

                                                                                     - Prince of his future.

From: darkpencil013@gmail.com To: lacrosse0114@gmail.com

So you don’t want to be whatever it is they are? I think you should do that, since you said you wanted to do that. Don’t matter the rest I guess. I don’t know, I don’t really think too much about it. II’I do that when I need to.  Everyone can surprise you, it’s not that. 

        - Alex

From: lacrosse0114@gmail.com  To: darkpencil013@gmail.com

I don’t know what I want to be, but part of me is not ready to be what they want me to be. They already have such high expectations and I know that they will only grow and grow and I will never be able to meet them. You should always be thinking about your future so you can prepare yourself properly and know what to the when the time comes. 

True, they can, but you know what I mean. 

                                                 - Prince

From: darkpencil013@gmail.com To: lacrosse0114@gmail.com

At least it can help you in the future. What do you wanna be? Is it the same, that your mother and father wants you to be? or is this one of those, ‘doing what my parents’ tells me. Or just all of you want it?  This seems very scary. I try to keep away from scary things, life seems to be better that way. So, no think you. But thanks for the advice!                                       - Alec

From: lacrosse0114@gmail.com  To: darkpencil013@gmail.com

It’s complicated. I have other interest, which I won’t tell because might be a giveaway but I’ve grown around what my parents do and I know I would be good at it, it’s just not what I want to do. They already do it, why should I? You know? Plus I also want to follow a modeling career because why not. What about you? What would you like to do? 

Come on, you have to take risks. You can’t be playing safe all your life. Plus, boys can surprise you. Try it. 

                                                      - Prince

From: darkpencil013@gmail.com To: lacrosse0114@gmail.com

Don’t think I’m any of those things, but alright. It’s nothing wrong with being honest with people, and enjoy telling people about stuff. Don’t really think people can share too much really; it’s up to each person to what they feel okay with. Not really, but I’m just being an anon person.  I don’t know, I just think. Well, I don’t know it all really kind of confuse me really. That’s the person, and why I think it might be true. It would not be so confusing if I didn’t… I thin.  Okay, if you say so. 

                                                       - Alex 

From:  lacrosse0114@gmail.com To: darkpencil013@gmail.com

Well, I am very honest. Too honest probably, but I can’t keep my thoughts to myself so sometimes they just shoot out of my mouth before I can even realize it. My parents say it will help me on the future career they want me to pursue so I hope that’s true.   

But you have to be sure, I mean, do you want to have that doubt forever? You have to explore, meet guys and see how it is because maybe you discover that you actually like guys or that you want to be a vagina eater forever. Take risk and just find out. Go to gay clubs or something. Maybe not, the ones here are filled with dirty old man who want to get sugarbabies. BUT SOMETHING. DO SOMETHING. CAPS CAPS. 

                                                         - Prince

From: darkpencil013@gmail.com To: lacrosse0114@gmail.com

But would it not be easy for you to understand who it might be if I start to narrowing it down by saying what grade I’m in and such? Now I’m just a random dude at school, it I say a grade I will be one of those dudes; liss people to think it might can be.  I won’t tell you, because then I’m even in a smaller group of people to conceder. Because then you can think of everyone that might be in ‘grade’ and that has a girlfriend. I’m not stupid, even if most people think so. I don’t know. I mean, I’ve never had a boyfriend but yet I’m pretty sure I like boys… yet, my girlfriend if awesome and I do like her a lot too. I just.. don’t know I guess. Sound lame I bet , for you who know perfectly who you are.  Don’t think I’ve seen anyone at school with bright green hair, so if you dye it; I’m gonna know who you are. Just saying. You should, maybe it would suit you; depending on what color your eyes if but you know.

- Alex

From:  lacrosse0114@gmail.com To: darkpencil013@gmail.com

Okay, you’re smart and sneaky. I’m an overshared so this task that I myself made might be quite difficult since I like to share so much. Wait, does this mean you’re gonna be looking out for me now that I said my grade? Rude. 

See, there you go being smart again. How do you know you actually like dudes? Have you been with one? Have you kissed one and such? Like how are you sure you just don’t find them super attractive. 

Haha, nope. Bright green hair does not go with my complexion or my eyes. 

                                                     - Prince

Yeah, I can sense it. Trust me. II’I try to be better, I just don’t have too much to talk ( write ) about I suppose.  Well, because I don’t know yet. Dunno how my mom and dad would take it if I said It. Problem is, I still don’t know. Because, I kind of sort of have a girlfriend, and I like her; but.. I know for a fact I’ve liked a dude before so, just confused I guess. You have a point, can’t go back if you first say it.  Same here. I can’t tell you what, because then you would know who I am; but it was a pretty big change. Wasn’t too happy about it at first, now it’s okay– still I miss how things used to be before. I have a friend who is out, it’s a girl but it’s the same right? Acceptance is not the best to hope for, but I’m sure if you did your friends would be okay with it.  - Alex [ see this was a tad longer ] 

From:  lacrosse0114@gmail.com To: darkpencil013@gmail.com 

You could start with the basic. What grade are you in? I mean, I usually don’t mind but you could either be a sizzling Senior or a cute little Freshman, you know? Those things matter. 

Waaaait, you have a girlfriend? Does she also go to our school? How do you have a girlfriend? I mean, you’re bisexual or some of those sexuality I don’t understand yet or is she like a cover? That’s quite something. I’ve never had a girlfriend, since I was little I knew girls were not my thing. I did have a boyfriend way back when, but Ohio is not the best place for me to discover the lovely attributes of the boys in this town. 

I think it’s easier for girls because they’re expected to change, once we guys come out as gay, we get shuned about how broken we are. With girls is more like “Oh, she will meet the right guy and change: Which is shitty because they won’t change, they like who they like. Just like I like who I like, I’m not broken or confused or having ‘a phase’ If I was having a phase I would get tattoos, wear eyeliner and dye my hair bright green. 

                                                  - Prince

You are very straight forward I have to give you that. But I guess we can mail or whatever. Seems so old, but who cares. I didn’t, because my name isn’t Alex. Sucks to have a dad being like that though, sorry about that part. Yeah, sorry I’m not the best at writing long emails. So if you like to write down stuff, II’I just answer and most likely be better at this? ( I hope )  - Alex 

From:  lacrosse0114@gmail.com To: darkpencil013@gmail.com Subject: Hey there