the most fucked up thing ever is being obsessed w ur own oc. why do i have to make content of them why cant they just magically appear on my screen for me to reblog 200 times. fucked up and also evil

a definitive list of my favorite captain america uniforms ranked

I'm sick of internet negativity, so let's combat it: reblog this and saying something nice/pay a compliment to the prev in the tags.

the best way to consume media is to make it your only personality trait for at least two months

idk if im actually bi or nit but i have an 8 am class tomorrow cant worry about that

sorry if you dont want me to show my followers. but these are the funniest tags ive seen in my life

What @kiaxet said

so if demons are sticklers for contracts, demand high payment for their services, and have firm/specific rules regarding summoning rituals (aka the hiring process & availability of their labor)—what i'm hearing is demons are fully unionized

[transcript:

#imagine what their strikes are like #it'd be especially funny if they did the version of striking where they do actually keep doing their duties #but they refuse to take payment #(i've heard of some transportation or medical workers doing this in the past but i'd have to look up sources idk)

#my point is you summon a demon and try to enter into a contract and they're like #you can have it for free i'm just here so i don't get bored during the strike #the boss doesn't get his cut this way but i can still traverse the planes and fuck shit up

#and you're like?? this has to be a trick?? #but then the walls start bleeding and satan starts writing angry strike busting threats on the walls ominously #and the demon is like just ignore that he can't do shit without us it's all talk let's get back to the details#now who were you wanting to fuck over with my evil specialized skills that absolutely deserve fair compensation?

#and you're just nervously glancing over to the increasingly furious scribblings from the king of hell on your wall while stuttering #uhhh this asshole jerry from work #and the demon is just like say no more! i gotchu #enjoy keeping your soul i'm sure it is so juicy and would be so fun for satan to torture for eternity oh well#sucks to be him he should really come back to negotiations then huh

/end transcript]

I wish skyrim sex mod debuffs appeared above my head in real life so I knew what was going on

File your taxes for free | Internal Revenue Service (irs.gov)

I'm with you 'til the end of the line. STEVE ROGERS in CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER 2014 | dir. Anthony & Joe Russo

the thing twitter has over tumblr is the ability to have handles next to your url which is especially good in the case of environmental storytelling, for example the person that tweeted something like "every time a gay person [does something nonserious] I go to chick fil a" as an obvious joke and their handle in the screenshot was "[name] the GAY IM GAY" you really cant get that level of storytelling here

This is the one

hey look at this anti-tf2 post from an old homophobic christian forum

introducing my four year old niece to the concept of "moral dilemmas" by telling her that i'm a monster that eats children and that i know it's wrong but i'm so so so hungry and everything else tastes yucky. i've tried all the human food in the world and it all tastes so yucky i can't even eat it. i can only eat children and i'm so hungry

her resolution was that if i meet a kid that has the same name as their sibling, then i can eat one of them. their parents won't be sad, because they have another kid with the same name right there. speaks to an uninformed but fascinating worldview

our history teacher tried a similar tack but the theoretical scenario was "the man who invented the medicine necessary to save your wife is charging more money than you can pay and won't accept credit. you're against stealing but you also don't want your wife to die. what do you do?"

our answer was not only to steal the medicine but to murder the inventor because if he's paywalling life-saving medicine, the solution that involves the lowest body count is killing him. we're ethically and morally obligated to eliminate this threat to human survival

did not go the way he thought it would

alignment chart with chaotic entitled

you asked, i delivered: welcome to the new dimension 20 alignment system

Gonna need a blank one of these ohmygod