i finished that movie and got up to make lunch and there was a turtle zoomin across my yard. hello??

i was with turtles all the way down until the last scene. and now im annoyed i had feelings about it. kdhskdjf

mom: how old is billy joel turning? sixty-something?

me: you’re joking right

“actually her birth name wasn’t miley it’s just something she got called since she was a baby so technically hannah montana didn’t use her real name” i have to assume you don’t know how you sound.

if im awake at 4:30 and you’re awake at 4:30 then who’s…whatever the end of this joke is

zoeys extraordinary playlist was like “max is going to sing 500 miles to zoey and zoey is going to sing im yours to max but hold on she might end up with simon right?” like. no dude. you showed your hand too clearly. i would have rioted if it went the other way.

did a brief scroll thru that summer vacation post and no one had mentioned how you might get like a theoretical week or two off but you get shit on if you try and take it as consecutive days