#loveiversary @g_reed13 #3years

I need to go to the gym... I need to go to the gym... Ughhhhhhh I've lost 13 pounds since my surgery, and I cannot seem to lose anymore. What do you guys do to stay motivated?

Pretty flowers from @g_reed13

A few days ago, I received a call from my doctor explaining that my quad screen was abnormal. It came out to 1:9, which was extreme risk. After going in for an ultrasound yesterday, the doctor sadly explained that the baby didn't have a heartbeat, and, even if it did, it most likely wouldn't have lived past labor. I will be going in for a d&c procedure on Thursday, and the doctors are going to do a chromosome test to see if they can find out what happened exactly, which could help with future pregnancies. For those of you who have been following me for awhile, you'll know that this is the second time in a year that my pregnancy had ended due to a lack of heartbeat. It's been a devastating couple of days. I'm not sure if I'll really continue my blog. I want to say I will and talk about my road to recovery and the path to my next baby, but it's hard to keep up with it when I follow so many lovely people with babies. I may need some time away to cope with this tragedy so I wish everyone well and the best of luck if I don't end up back on here. I hope I do continue it if nothing but to let out my stress and write my way through recovering. Sometimes even writing something out really helps me. If any of you have personal blogs, I'd love to follow you, and please send me a link!

Did anyone get an abnormal test result for their quad screen? There's a possibility that my baby has a neural tube defect, and I'm freaking out. I know it's just a screen, and it's not a diagnosis, but I can't help but stress!

I know this is going to sound petty, but I fucking hate all of the girls that Garrett follows on Instagram. Some of them are really scandalous and some he doesn't even know so he's probably following them for their riskier pictures. It seems dumb, but it's just the icing on the cake when I'm already an emotional mess. I'm so insecure right now about my body. I've gained a ton of weight with no baby bump to show for it. It's just... Weight. I feel unattractive and heavy and scared. There's so much change going on, and it has become overwhelming. Instead of spending quality time with Garrett, I stay at home while he goes to the bar with his friends, looks at half naked pictures of girls on social media, and does who knows what during the day. I'm at home stressing about money, a child, and a stressful job that I'm already starting to hate. His money goes to alcoholic while mine goes toward rent and the baby. I feel like the world is collapsing around me, and I'm stuck venting about it on tumblr because I'd rather not be responsible for another fixing another situation. It's easier to push off than to deal with it. Those damn Instagram girls just push me to my limit.

Sometimes I see posts on tumblr where people are arguing a point just to argue. I'm sorry but get over it.

Night time belly cream ❤️

I'm 17 weeks today, and I'm still barely even showing. In the morning, it doesn't look like I'm pregnant at all. It's only in the afternoon / evening after I've eaten that you can tell... but then it only looks like I ate a big meal. 

Why am I not growing?