genuinely partially agree with the people on twitter

nobody NEEDS a pillow collection that says "live laugh love", especially when they are never used as actual pillows

it's like buying an off-road car as a farmer and keeping it in the garage to only be looked at and admired

having things with form over function in mind is a luxury problem that wouldn't be a thing in a not classist environment in which you constantly compete with everyone else about who has the perfect life

i also think that if you still disagree, you probably have lost control over your own life choices, or may have never had any

Hey man how's it going

Oh my fucking god

Oat milk is made by milking goats and then putting the milk through a fine filter to extract all the "G"s

I heard thats where they get the "G"s for cell phone service

'Fourever' iTunes Digital Booklet

hey icarus bro wanna order some hot wings-oh my god im so fucking sorry dude

Men will spend 25% of their day thinking about how they could American sniper their way out of the zombie apocalypse no problem and then they’ll walk into the bathroom and miss the toilet from half a foot away

Men will be like “I would NEVER murder someone but if I did I know exactly how I’d get away with it” and then one day you’ll be in a situation with them where they need to mop a floor and they won’t even know how

Best costumes

(via)

"Volcano turned a dude's brain to glass" sounds incredibly fake and if you put that into a science fiction film nobody would buy it. And yet...

Anybody else got that Evergiven sized writers block

“Where’s the next chapter?!” Well buddy you’re never gonna guess

What’s the comic sans trick?

#i feel like someone just asked me to eat dirt for my health

wingdings' true purpose as a font

Wingdings holy shit some of y'all are on a whole different level of galaxy wizard brain batshittery and I am in awe.

Exciting. When I don't want to see what I'm writing I just make the font color almost indistinguishable from the background color. (Do not do this.)

(I don't think the secret to the comic sans hack is comic sans itself; I think it's any deflation of being intimidated by your canvas.)

Hold on I need to go look something up immediately.

... you can't say that and not give the link.

Looks like you can even make it something other than kittens, by appending ?search=dinosaur (that's the example the page gives) to the end of the URL.

@andauril

@gattmammon

from twitter user deejaygeejaygee

it just gets better

and better

your man doesn’t have the mental strength to caramelize onions 

your man thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions

Who’s fucking carmelizing onions?

Have you sociopaths forgotten that apples exist?

do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions

your man thinks caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions

Pssst if you have ublock: https://github.com/laylavish/uBlockOrigin-HUGE-AI-Blocklist

lord the peasants are so loud today

pheasants. PHeasants. The birds

Don't you mean classist Typo, as in discriminating against poor people, and not classicist, the type of academic who studies antiquity in southern Europe?