this is utter shit

Anyone else have a deep and boundless love for the ocean and moon

WHO is going to have a subtextually homoerotic swordfight with me that stems from our major unresolved sexual tension

The World Health Organization is going to do what?!

hozier is so fucking funny who let this man run wild. just a horny little irish bastard with the voice and writing skills of an old celtic god

Victor refusing to make the Monster a wife because he was worried they’d breed is such a cop out. Like, you’re cobbling together body parts from charnel houses. You can just not give her any ovaries. You can just spay her like a cat. Why are you this dumb Victor. You’re a doctor.

the implication that victor spend weeks giving the monster a working dick is also extremely weird

Feed a person vampire blood, you get a ghoul. Feed an animal vampire blood, you get a hellhound. Water a plant in vampire blood, you get a mandrake. Fill up your car with vampire blood? Probably good things, let’s try it.

COMING THIS HALLOWEEN FROM SYFY

V A N P I R E

Vamptire

1/29/18

i want to see my little boy (here he comes)

@starchygoodness

How are you going to look at this and tell me bears are real??

this is so fucking funny

Sometimes i feel i’ve got to

*Tchaikovsky physically manifests in my house and fires two canon balls, destroying my home*

run away

“UNKNOWN WOMAN EATING COTTON CANDY” BY NINA LEEN

Botanical, Samuel Zeller

I’m sad & i want material items so i can be cured for 5 minutes 

Felt a bit down so took a random trip to Paris. This city always cheers me up.

^literally the most privileged and bougie caption I’ve ever read

I live close to Paris so I just jumped on a bus, it didn’t cost me more than 20€, plus when you know the city you can basically find millions of things to do for free. Paris old only bougie for tourists.

Breaking news: People live in France.

*me, owning a strange boutique housegoods/book store selling a variety of mystic, occult objects but no one realizes I live there, this is literally my living room*

How much for this stick I can shake at God?

10 bucks

can i get these three backscratchers with a bundle discount

15% discount for 3 or more

How bout this book? I think it’s look cool with a cosplay I’m planning

40 bucks but never attempt to read or open it

How much is the doll?

Oh that? Just take it. Take it far far away and do not allow it to return

How about this?

$29.99. Just be careful not to leave the candles burning at night, the gremlin comes alive and likes to wander around and go through your stuff

Why is there a guinea pig in your shop?

excuse me Ramsey is our best employee

If “Hozier” and “Florence + the machine” ever did a collab, it would be so dangerous to listen to anywhere apart from the middle of a forest, as moss would just start appearing around you, and branches would just grow from any surface you looked at

my favorite thing about this post is the quotations because they imply that these two are something other than what they tell us and that’s exactly what ageless dieties of the forests would do