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Émile-Samory Fofana

my husband left this earth from an apparent overdose on the 22nd of december at 2PM. i havent had the energy, nor the reason to post anywhere before now. i held his lifeless body for what seemed like hours until medicals arrived and went on to perform everything they could on him for 40minutes. his brain was already gone whilst he was still on the machines. i have nothing in this world left, he was my only and sole universe, my reason for being, my only home, and our home, on his name, the only one i ever had a home in. now i am with nowhere to go, i cannot stay where i just saw my husband, blue and ice cold, waiting for him forever to come back to me. i have nowhere to go. i am utterly clueless. i am without options. i lost my only family, and that family was everything in my life. i have no reason and dont feel a deserving of living longer than he did. i dont think i can ever let go of him. how could i? where do i go? what do i do? even if i had anywhere to begin with, how do i get my mind to forget about him, every racing second?

URGENT!! has been 8days since my husband passed. ive had two days of sleep. i have had talks with his family and they have reassured me he would want me to stay here, happy. the ONLY thing i am still here is - remembering he telling him half a year ago, if any of us were to leave this earth sooner than expected, taking each others art and making our love story - which is a genuinely fairytale like story with very dark twists, into a film or a book. i know i could help at least a couple thousand people with my story. i need to live. he is looking down at me and he does want me to go on. i need to keep his legacy alive and promoted, you can listen to his beautiful heartfelt music and guitar videos on his youtube channel. he said my voice should be trained (i havent sang since i was 3years old because my father had stated i have the voice of a man, so i never sang again - my husband has a very good ear so for him to say that, he said, with a couple months training, my voice would be a resemblance to something like Billie Eilish. and, as ive already directed and written a couple songs of his - i want to carry on, and being able to keep him alive through new art and collaborations, promoting his name shilst i want to make a youtube channel/podcast about general topics in life, but mainly: how i am dealing with being a widow at 25 years old.

i desperately need help im the beginning with the following things, so i dont follow him in death, and continue promoting his legacy and making art out of the hurt, hopefully saving lives by me keeping myself afloat. CLICK FOR PAYPAL

-rent in a new place, hopefully far away from this country that has broke me down one too many times.

-therapy/medication/ a private institute somewhere i am allowed to create in the meantime (unsure)

-funeral arrangements (my own arrangements, his family are taking care of Him, but he told me he wants to be buried alone next to me - this option already has been taken away from us, as they are cremating him which we both were against of - but now that he is getting cremated, i also wish to go that way when my time comes.

-food, art supplies, books, musical equipment - maybe i can make an amazon wishlist, let me know.

i am extremely thankful. it took me 7days to type this out, but today has been the first i could get myself together and think really tell myself i am, for him, making his - our dream come true - the world will know his place as they were meant to. much love. thank you for every reblog and every donation.

if you would like to donate, but dont have a paypal, tell me, and ill ask a friend from the US to transfer the other kind of payments. i also have an international bank account. please reblog this. my husband is dead, and i am also hanging by a thread. if i dont get out of here very soon, i am gone. i see him in everything.

Natalia

I got an anon saying this didnt happen. He was on machines and he had a needle in his brain because his mind was already gone for 40 minutes. I have the pictures because i was talking to his father in the meantime who is a doctor. Lying about something like this, if i had been able to eat in the past x days i would probsbly be throwing everything up right now.

Diana Gärtner @ Thierry Mugler Fall/Winter, 1998 Ready-to-Wear

90s diana and the model jan dunning are the reasons i wanna stay blonde longer