Showing off my new iPhone home screen because I’m obsessed
(Was gunna do cool thinks with the app icons buuut I HATE that they bounce to the shortcuts app before the actual app)
The thing that’s getting me the most about this staying home stuff and not being able to go do anything is the boredom!!
I am so unbelievably bored. And that’s why my sleep is all over the place. Because I’m up for a couple hours watching movies, cause there’s nothing else to do, and then I get bored so I go to bed.
And my sleep is so messed up that I’m only sleeping 5 hours at a time. When I normally was a like 10 hour sleeper if I had nothing going on. And it’s frustrating. I literally went to bed at such a normal time last night. 11pm! And I woke up at 430 this morning and couldn’t fall back asleep.
Now it’s 7am and I’m sitting here bored!!
And I feel like most people have already gone through this stage. But I was nannying for a family from the end of March until the middle of June. I’ve only been at this full time home thing for like a month (it feels sooooo much longer!) so I’m just now hitting that going crazy stage. And it’s hitting haaaard lol!
You know what I hate?
Being aggressively and suddenly swarmed with anxiety so bad that you literally feel the attack brewing from the deepest pit and there is absolutely NO FUCKING REASON FOR IT!! NO TRIGGER!! NOTHING!!!
Guess who’s trying to make a come back to YouTube!!!
lily-padfoot reblogged
❤️🇨🇦 Happy Canada Day! 🇨🇦❤️
I’ve been fostering beckys classroom fishies during this pandemic.
I’ve never owned fish in my life. We thought we killed them when we first got them into their tank. I’m using my TikTok ring light as their tank light. I constantly have to pee because of the water running through the filter 24/7🤣
However, after all of this is over, I maaaay have to buy Jynx a pet fish lmao! He is OBSESSED with laying on my bed watching them swim and standing up on my dresser like this playing with the black one through the glass lol it’s really cute watching him.
Why can’t one single fucking thing go the way I want it to. Ever.
I needed him today. I needed him to be my support... but of course something has to go fucking wrong and he can’t be there because he has a sore throat and this fucking coronavirus has to fuck it all up. But why today. Why did he have to get sick today.
I’m frustrated. He knows I’m frustrated. I couldn’t hide it on the phone. It’s not his fault. But I’m upset. Really upset. I did this for grandpa without him. I didn’t want to have to go through this again without him....
Why can’t things just go my fucking way.
We say goodbye to grandma today. I needed him today....
When you and your man sit down and have an actual conversation about where we see ourselves living and it’s NOT here😍
Can that happen now please? lol
✨here’s to 28✨
When the depression hits right before your birthday.... 🤦♀️
You’ve finally been reunited with your love, Grandma. But we will miss you down here...
My grandma passed away last night. She surrendered to her strong fight with Alzheimer’s. Unfortunately, she forgot how to breath....
She was such a strong woman. A girl born in the middle of a war, who didn’t even meet her father until she was a few years old.
She met the absolutely love of her life at the young age of 13, and married him the day after she turned 18.
She had 3 children, losing her oldest to a horrendous accident in her own driveway. She opened her heart and home to many foster children, and called 2 of them her own sons.
She was like a mother to me. Cared for me while my parents worked.
Listening to Beauty and the Beast will never be the same. It was our song.
I will miss you endlessly, grandma. RIP my beautiful angel
Shout out to my amazing boyfriend who acknowledged and took notice of my recent fall into my depression and anxiety and took me out to dinner tonight.
We went to Boston Pizza, sit down, and he asks what I’m feeling like. I say “I think I’m just going to get a salad”. And he goes “no! You feel like shit and your mental health has been shit. I want you to get whatever you want. And I want you to enjoy it!”
I love him so fucking much.
Anonymous asked:
you are not a fuck up...why did you lose your job?
I sure feel like a fuck up sometimes.
Okay SO! Basically, I had two coteachers in the classroom. They were not inclusive to me at all. And I felt extremely alone within the classroom. No matter what I did, how much I did, they never gave me the light of day.
Well turns out, the two of them were making up all these lies to our boss. Telling her that I didn’t do shit around the class. Didn’t help. Didn’t program plan. Didn’t interact with any of the kids. Just sat in a corner observing all day.
Well, anyone who knows me as a teacher, knows that’s all complete bullshit. But the boss didn’t see it like that cause she was never around to get to know me. So she knocked me down to supply staff and then told me “you should probably bring home any of your belongings” meaning I would never get a call for a shift.
I was out of work for a week. But luckily that Friday, I had an interview and got the job. I’ve been there for 3 weeks now and I basically run the whole damn classroom. I’m happier here.
I gave the other school 2 weeks and they never called. I was super tempted to just never quit, and if they ever called, told them to go fuck themselves because who would stay there or go back to that abuse. But nah. I emailed them and quit. Never got a response.
When it’s two in the morning and you finally get to sleep. Just to be startled awake half an hour later by what you assume to be just a dream because there’s no fucking way there was a huge bug making noises on the pillow next to you.
And you’re pretty sure it was only a weird dream because you tear your bed apart and don’t come across anything and your cat was just laying there and if there was actually something your cat wouldn’t just be laying there
And now you’re wondering if maybe the noise you woke up hearing was actually your cat cleaning himself. But you can’t be certain because you didn’t see your cat cleaning himself.
And you’re pretty sure it was just a dream because you know that you were dreaming before you woke up but can’t remember what you were dreaming about to try and connect things to see if it makes sense.
And now it’s half an hour later and no bug has appeared but you’re now laying here wide awake because this is fucking anxiety at its best.
Anonymous asked:
because thats what you are. a fuck up
Thanks. I know👍🏻