FAMETHYST
I really think hospitals and doctors that work with pregnancy and pediatricians need to make more literature available for how to, ya know, work with kids? Because the more conversations we have about spanking (and how it’s ineffective and harmful and does more bad than good), the more I realize that a lot of people don’t know the alternatives. Or like, anything about child development or where misbehavior stems from.
So, as someone who went through childhood development classes in college, works with kids for a living, and knows multiple people who specialized in childhood education, here are some pointers when you are working with kids:
1. Model emotional response for kids. Children are learning how to recognize and respond to their own emotions. All the way up through high school, children’s brains are still developing, and the emotions they are learning to process become more complex. So with really young kids, the easiest way to help them with this is to model emotional self awareness and self care.
- “Oh wow, mommy is feeling angry because the cat made a mess. I’m going to clean this mess and then go sit in my room in the quiet for a short break so I feel better.”
- “You know, I am feeling very sad about not going to the park because it is raining. I bet some hot chocolate and a book would make me feel better.”
- ”Huh, I’m feeling kind of cranky and hungry, but daddy won’t be home for dinner for another hour. I bet I’ll feel better if I eat a little piece apple while we wait.”
2. Understand what causes child frustration and work to preempt it.
- -Transitions (from one activity to another, getting in the car, etc) can be stressful, especially if the activity or location they are leaving is fun. Give kids a warning when this is going to happen. With young kids, give them about 5-15 minutes of warning (”10 minutes until we are going to leave the park and go home. Do your last thing.”), with older kids, just give them a time frame. (We are can play at McDonalds for 30 minutes, but then we have to go grocery shopping, ok?)
- Not being able to communicate what they want to is frustrating. Babies can learn simplified baby sign language months before they are verbal. Kids may not know the words for what they are trying to say. Be patient and help them find the right words. On a similar note, don’t ignore kids. If you really can’t respond to their question right away because of something else, at least tell the “Yes, I heard your question. I’ll answer you as soon as I’m done talking on the phone.”
- Not being able to make choices or having too much choice can be overwhelming. Give kids a limited, reasonable selection of choices. “Do you want apple slices or juicy pears on the side for lunch?” is much better than “What do you want with your sandwich?” or just giving them apple slices. “Do you want to give grandpa a hug or a high five?” is better than demanding they hug grandpa right away.
3. Understand that kids are people to. They will get hungry, tired, an annoyed just like adults do. Sometimes you have to be flexible and give them time to self care. Talk to them, explain things to them, let them be people and not just dolls. “Because I said so” is really unhelpful for a growing kid. “We can’t buy Fruit Loops today because we are already getting Frosted Flakes. We only need one cereal at a time.” is going to do you a lot more favors. “Don’t pick up the glass snow globe. It belongs to grandma and can break easy. She would be sad if we broke it on accident.” is better than “don’t touch that.”
And look, no parent is perfect. No baby sitter, no teacher, no care taker is going to be awesome all the time. And no kid is going to be perfect. They will cry and have tantrums, and not be able to tell you what they need, and be stubborn sometimes. Sometimes they need space, or quiet time. Sometimes they need attention and validation.
But kids learn from every interaction they have, so adults who yell and hit and insult children when they misbehave raise kids who yell and hit and insult others when they feel like they’ve been wronged.
This really sounds great! Learning to be flexible, especially early on, is very important in my opinion
hp aesthetic → houses
“draco dormiens nunquam titillandus”
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the colours of the sunset make me so happy photos by🌙
So!! I made a comic about Rose and Pearl forming Rainbow Quartz for the first time and it was really fun and the longest comic I’ve ever made, I hope you all enjoy it <3
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PSA: if someone with ADHD interrupts you, they’re not trying to be an asshole
it’s not personal. it’s not that they don’t care what you have to say. it’s just that they got excited or distracted and their brain went off on a tangent and they have shitty impulse control
if it bothers you, talk to us about it (but be aware of the fact that we’re probably well aware that we interrupt and that it bothers people, and already feel pretty guilty about it)
and, if it’s a good friend, it might be worth trying to learn to just accept it and go with it. When I’m with friends who have ADHD, we interrupt each other all the time and, because we understand, it’s not taken personally. It’s just how the conversation goes. And we often end up on some pretty interesting topics.
Conversational cues for when its okay to talk are also…really easy to overlook.
sometimes when this happens we also have a NEED to say whatever has come into our mind. Sometimes my mind starts to “stutter” and in order to fix it I have to speak it out often
I literally interrupt my own conversations with unrelated topics it’s definitely not personal
Behind the scenes of Perfume’s performances and costumes. SOEN Magazine, May 2016