Written in the Stars

he Monch

(via)

other people: *intense theorizing about the trailer*

me: *picking up f!shez and smashing her face against f!byleth’s like barbies* kiss

I absolutely love this guy

“His name is Bruce”

“..Why?”

Best boy

Hanging out with old people rules because after a while they trust you enough to confess to murder totally unprompted

Wait what.

Sometimes old ladies had to kick the ladder out from under their stepfathers when they were girls and that’s valid

oh, my little old lady murder story was her replacing the medication in her abusive husband's capsules with rat poison.

"back in the day, our grandmothers worked on their marriages and didn't get divorced!" nah, friend, they COULDN'T get a divorce so sometimes they killed their fuckin husbands. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My grandma murdered her first husband the first time he beat their daughter.

I went caroling at a nursing home once and the conversation went from “your voices are lovely” to “I shot people during the war” rather quickly. 

DO NOT FUCK WITH OLD LADIES. My grandma scares me because sometimes we will be talking about someone and how they should die and ummm sometimes she can get very VERY detailed. I asked grandma have you done something before and she just smiled and said "some husband's need god. So that's where they go." 😶

Not an old lady in this case, but my previous apartment building used to have a large senior citizen population. Most of them were the type of sweeties who would chat with you about their lives while you were waiting for the elevator with them.

One gentleman in particular always stood out to me. He and his wife used to take the same bus I did before I got my car and his wife passed away. Kind of a gruff fellow but generally nice and polite.

So, one night, it was after midnight and I was in a bad mood because my dad and I had fight earlier in the evening. I was out of lemonade and decided that, by God, midnight be damned, I wanted lemonade. And a hamburger. So I drove out, got my lemonade and hamburger and drove back home at about 1 or 1:30.

Standing there in the middle of the parking lot was this old gentleman, holding a baseball bat and squinting suspiciously at me. Once he recognized me, he lowered the bat a little and nodded. When I got closer, he explained that someone had been breaking into people's cars and stealing stuff. He had gotten into the habit of stalking around the parking lot each night after midnight keeping an eye out for the thief. And that he had the bat so he could "deal with them". Then he told me to have a good evening and resumed his watch over the parking lot.

So basically, this old dude had been (and, to the best of my knowledge, still is) going all Dark Knight over the parking lot, ready to bludgeon the shit out of some thief for stealing from his neighbors.

I think about that a lot.

(via)

tiny panther roar

(via)

穿越千年才找回跟你在一起的回忆

a WLW makeup ad. 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

Makeup ad?! This is a whole movie.

“And they were reincarnated soulmates!”

“Oh my god, they were reincarnated soulmates!!”

peekaboo

(via)

ulululululu

Kevin

Teeny kitten

(via)

“He’ll grow up to be a fierce predator some day. Today, he’s just a muppet.”

(via)

That GIF is killing me