Everyday I’m like “today imma get my shit together” and by the end of the day I’m like “tomorrow is the day for real”

its 2014 stop assuming genders based off voice pitch and appearance 

☆Magic Trio☆

nobody gives a fuck about pluto's planetary status pls arrest Darren Wilson

What’s better is that Steve is a little taller and bigger than Bucky (still tinier than everyone) so when Bucky comes into the room with a bun and oversized Captain America jacket Tony has a heart attack like

"OH GOD WE HAVE DIRT ON BARNES EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING THEY’RE SLEEPING TOGETHER OH GOD JARVIS TAKE A PICTURE OF THIS HURRY HURRRY OH GOOODDDDDD!"

"That’s exactly what I told Steve last night in bed"

*Clint in the distance* “Burn”

"Clint where the hell did you come from??"

"My mother’s vagina." 

"Don’t be an asshole! When did you get here?"

"Whatever it says on my birth certificate."

"You should be used to this by now, Stark." *Natasha sips tea while Bucky joins her at the table with a bowl of cereal*

"WHEN DID YOU GET HERE???”

Nat teaches Bucky random pop culture dances so one day Tony walks in on them doing the macarena and Steve is trying but failing horribly like oh my god my boyfriend has a metal arm and he’s better than me

OKAY BUT IMAGINE TONY AND THOR LOOSING A BET AND HAVING TO TEACH BUCKY AND STEVE ABOUT SAFE SEX

OH GOD THAT WOULD BE ONE HORRIFYING SEX TALK. 

"YOU MUST TAKE THE MAIDEN VALIANTLY BY THE WAIST AND PROFESS YOUR LOVE BEFORE PENETRATING THEIR MAIDENHEAD!"

"Okay definitely not a good enough reason to use the word penetrate…”

"THEN YOU MUST BE AWARE OF YOUR MAIDEN’S PLEASURE! IF SHE IS DISTRESSED THEN YOU MUST DESIST YOUR LOVEMAKING IMMEDIATELY!"

"You do realize I’m the one being fucked, right Thor?"

"MY WORD! YOUNG BUCHANAN, HAS THE BOY CAPTAIN BEEN PROTECTING YOUR HONOR AS A WORTHY WARRIOR AS HE DEFILES YOUR MANHOOD?"

"…Yes?" 

"Step aside, Poptart God, let the master fucker tell them how it’s done! JARVIS, pull up the file ‘SS E-W’"

"*STD pictures pop up*"

"OH MY FUCKING- EWWWWWWWWWWW!"

"THESE ARE CALLED-"

"OH GOD I’M TELLING PEPPER"

☆*･゜ﾟ･*best friends*･゜ﾟ･*☆

gerard way + the hesitant alien booklet

[8tracks]

fun fact about me: when i was a freshman in high school, for the whole year i planned an april fools joke on my homophobic dad and i was gonna tell him that i was a lesbian and i had a girlfriend. by the time april fools day rolled around, i was really a lesbian and i had a girlfriend

If the government really is spying on my internet usage I hope they like gay fanfiction because that’s what they’re getting

whatever you say bucky

#I’M REALLY NOT A NICE MAN #sure buck. you wanna visit the animal shelter tonight? #NO I HAVE A CHARITY BALL TO ATTEND. I’M A VERY BUSY VERY DANGEROUS MAN #oh bucky