i have never heard anyone not sing that one line in little lion man by mumford and sons with absolute relish like everyone really enjoys just shouting you really fucked it up this time and i dont blame them

—

Caroline Narby, “On My Butchness” (The Toast)

I thought this was so spot-on, thoughtful, and well-written.

(via malindalo)

Welcome to LGBT politics, where our two modes are “bi women are “asking for it” and trannies are evil degenerates who must be culled” and “cishet men deserve to be at pride, and so should cops”

Also all my transition frames together because I love them and spent too much time on them! Hey Brother video is [HERE]

Every time someone tries to explain the metaplot of Supernatural to me, it basically ends up sounding like redneck Dragon Ball Z. I’m sure there’s some nuance I’m failing to grasp here.

Care to elaborate on that?

…I’m not even offended, just absolutely curious.  From the stuff I’ve seen and heard about Supernatural I can’t see the connection.

Mostly, I get the impression of a show that doesn’t know how not to escalate.

Every threat’s gotta be quantitatively bigger and badder than the one that came before. Every deus ex machina’s gotta be shinier than the last one. Every season’s gotta end with a massive eleventh-hour powerup for our heroes, only for the next season to raise the stakes enough to put them back in the underdog position.

It’s like, you beat the Devil himself? Well, now you’ve gotta fight the Devil’s cousin Phil, who has conveniently gone entirely unmentioned up until now, but he’s totally twice as evil.

That last paragraph was literally supposed to be the most ridiculous hypothetical example I could think of, and people are messaging me to say “his name was Metatron, not Phil”. I can’t even make fun of this show.

Girls who call other girls “honey”, “lovely”, “sweetheart”, “beautiful”, and other terms of endearment automatically are my favourite girls. So sweet and loving and kind, a of them. Every time a girl or woman calls me a cute term of endearment? #blessed #healed #happy #glowing #complete #content

Cute receptionist at the doctor’s office the other day said “what’s up buttercup?” when I came in and I almost cried

no greek god is inherently and wholly “good” or “bad” because they were all flawed and imperfect in some way with different facets of personality and character to serve as a reflection of society and human nature itself  

oh except for zeus he was a straight up absolute bastard

fuck zeus

do NOT. 

My friend was shuffling a new tarot deck and she said excitedly “I cant wait to see what sort of bond I have with this deck!” And then the first card she pulled was the fool

yall really gonna expose me like this huh

what else am i gonna do

fucking 5 hit combo this one 

Almost all of my friends who are trans men have had really upsetting experiences with women who refused to stop misgendering them while dating them and I just think it’s super fucked up that all these weirdo blogs that are like “lesbians and trans men have always loved each other” while all the trans men I know very actively don’t want to date chasers

Like, closet transmisogynist: lesbians and trans men love to date eachther

Every trans man I know: I do not want to date you

fuck it *discovers my inner worth*

hey friends let’s play 🎃 tag this with your preferences:

ghost or demon; witch or cryptid; cat or bat; owl or raven; snake or spider; feathers or scales; pumpkin or chocolate; hot chocolate or punch; candy corn or marshmallow; scary or happy jack o lantern; blood or fog; skulls or ribcage; eyeballs or heart; candles or glowsticks; cemetery or cabin; haunted manor or hospital; past or future; unexplained phenomena or unsolved murder; moon or stars; obsidian or gold; mask or hat

Rethinking CIS: finding a few grains of truth in a fucked up TERF story.

If a bullshit argument gets repeated over and over again, sometimes it’s worth weighing it again to find out what it is inside that argument that makes it so appealing. I’ve been thinking a long time about objections people have to the word ‘cis’. Most is just bullshit ‘blah, blah, I don’t want my privilege labelled’, ‘blah blah, I want to be able to label you as other’ etc. 

But one argument stood out: 

We’re assigned a gender too. 

Now, before we start, some common definitions of Cis:

Now, there is something obviously absent here: transness. The experience of being assigned a gender that does not align with your gender identity. The experience of being transgender. But there is something implied in all these definitions too: agreement (notice the word agree in 2 of them), comfort, being ‘fine with that’, the absense of trauma. That, I think, is a mistake.

See, being assigned a gender at birth is not merely a word, it’s a pretty big package deal. It comes with a set of boundaries, a set of expectations, a set of pressures, a set of dangers, a set of assumptions. If you’re assigned female at birth, it comes with a second class status, a target on your back to subject you to violence and rape, and a worth almost completely defined by what you could mean to a man. We’re not just assigned a gender identity, we’re also all assigned a gender role in a violently sexist society. 

And gender roles never fit. They’re designed not to fit. The ideal male role and the ideal female role are completely unachieable goals that we’re nonetheless pressured to meet. Sometimes, when a man loves cars and beer and the gym and doesn’t cry much, they almost feel comfortable. But on some level, they never truly fit any of us. 

So, thing number one: We’re all coercively assigned a highly restrictive and violently policed gender role that does not fit us.

But that’s not all. A little side story: In 2009 I was sterilized against my will because I am trans. It was a very traumatic experience, a violation that turned upside down every right I believed I had and told me I did not have the right to exist. 

Incidently, I also never ever ever want children and  had at several points in my pre-2009 life considered sterilization. Given enough time, I probably would have eventually chosen the procedure myself. As a result of that, I am not childless against my will and do not suffer the same grief and despair as my trans friends who wanted children and find that that option was taken from them. That is a struggle I don’t have. But that did not make my experience any less traumatizing. I don’t ‘agree’ with what’s happened to me. I’m not ‘fine with it’. It was a deeply violating nonconsentual act on my body that marked this body and this life as ‘not truly mine to control’.  

So, thing number two: Being forced to walk a road that you would have walked anyway is still nonconsentual, coercive and potentionally traumatizing. 

And finally- I lack the experience and knowledge to explain this last point in depth - quite a few trans POC have already pointed out that what our society defines as ‘man’ and ‘women’ are very specifically white gender identities. Stuck between hypersexualization and desexualization, ‘dangerous’, ‘exotic’ and ‘submissive’, men, women and genderdiverse people of colour all experience that their gender will always be viewed as deviant because it can not comfort to white womanhood or white manhood. For those at the receiving end of genocide, colonisation and westernisation, frameworks for what it means to be a man, a woman or some other gender within their own culture are almost completely inaccessable, erasured, destroyed and replaced with a white western gender binary.

So, thing number 3: Colonialism means people of colour are marked gender deviants by default while being denied to a non-colonialized understanding of their gender identity. 

Now, put all those things together and I think we need to radically rethink what it means to be cisgender. 

I don’t think we need to get rid of the word cisgender. It’s very valuable to have a word that describes not being transgender and not having to deal with specific trans experiences. 

I do think we need to get to an understanding of cis that acknowledges that assigning a gender to a person who turns out to be cis is still restrictive, colonializing, potentially traumatizing and ultimately nonconsentual.

This is not fine. This is not in agreement. This is, in fact, still violence. 

Whenever you ask “is there a ridiculously long German word for [X]?”, the answer is either “yes” or “not officially, but I can quickly build you one if you want”

does anyone else’s mom or dad just watch murder/crime shows all the time or is it just mine

Why is this everyone’s mom, what’s wrong with them

a fools guide to not wanting to die anymore

by me, a fool who doesnt wanna die anymore 

… 8|

That’s some pretty good advice. I don’t know what’s left of my humor after ‘guess I’ll just die’ jokes but it’s worth a shot.

Personally i went from “guess I’ll die” jokes to “IF I HAVE TO BE HERE FOR 5 MORE MINUTES I PROMISE YOU I WILL BUY JUST, AN ARRAY OF CLOTHES.” and other wild hyperbolic stuff. Just replace the death part with something ridiculous and off topic. Its very entertaining

This also works with calling myself things like stupid, worthless, trash, etc. Even if you do this jokingly to yourself, your brain still believes it, and keeps up the cycle. Seriously, I found that when I stopped saying these things about myself, even jokingly, it made a massive difference.

Here’s a tip I picked up from a friend that’s helped me a lot — replace self deprecating jokes with ironically self aggrandizing jokes

Like every time I trip and fall, instead of saying “l’m just a disaster human” I say “I’m the epitome of grace and beauty”

Or like, when I draw a picture I’m not 100% happy with, instead of saying “my art is trash” I say something like “you know I think it’s time we replaced the Mona Lisa”

When you do that you get to make a joke, but you’re ALSO getting practice building yourself up, y’know?

And eventually it becomes a reflex and you get so used to it that you can say nice stuff about yourself even when you AREN’T joking

This is so important