@toxixpumpkin / toxixpumpkin.tumblr.com
Today I had to say goodbye to my little old lady I adopted her at 10 years old and she stayed with me for a good 6.5years before I had to say goodbye to her today
She’s the best thing to happen to me in terms of healing after losing my boys before I moved back to Chicago. She made life lovely and was the sweetest cat ever. So tiny and so precious
My sweet baby kitten Angel you’re forever loved and I’m forever grateful for the love you gave me
Next Allosexual to expose their bigotry and ignorance by claiming I think I’m better than people because I don’t have sex is gonna owe me copious amounts of money
I’m not better than anyone because I don’t care about nor have sex I’m better than others simply because I’m amazing and wonderful hope that helps 💖🥰
nothing worse than when the person drawing your blood fails the medicine AND sleight of hand check
(-1) ough (-4 ) agh! (-14) agh!!! (-3) AH! (-11)
saw a poll about dry/humid heat and like OBVIOUSLY everyone preferred dry heat but. would love to know what everyone considers to be “too hot”
me personally it’s a hard cutoff at 75°F. don’t need anything more than that thank you 🫶🫶🫶
what makes this even funnier to me is that it's a Skyline GT-R, a car that was only made for the Japanese market, meaning it's right hand drive. which means that if you wanted to go through a drive thru that's made for left hand drive cars, you would have to go in reverse in order to be on the side with the drive thru window
in 2015 I needed a job really bad for reasons not worth getting into. i was living in ohio for like 6 months & i just applied at every place within a 30 minute drive from me and i got a call from the local Game Stop mere minutes after submitting the online app, which was obviously a red flag but I wasn’t in the position to be picky.
so they tell me when to show up for orientation & I get there the day-of but the store is closed & locked. i text the manager & he says back “oh yeah. i manage two Game Stops and open them alternate days.”
apparently the Game Stop I originally applied to is open Mondays Wednesdays Fridays and the other one is open Sundays Tuesdays Thursdays Saturdays.
They’re 15 minutes apart. I don’t ask whether it would make sense to just have one store locally that is open daily, bc maybe the guy knows something I don’t.
So I get to the other Game Stop and walk in and it seems like there’s no one working there. There’s just a single woman in there wearing an ankle length leather trench coat. She didn’t greet me when I came in & she’s just browsing.
After ten minutes I ask her if she’s seen any employees and she’s like “oh I’m an employee.” She’s not wearing a name tag on the trench coat.
I tell her I’m here for training and she tells me the manager hasn’t come in yet. “he falls asleep playing xbox all the time but if he’s on live we can try pinging him to wake him up.”
I play Xbox and that absolutely doesn’t sound like a thing you can do in the way she’s describing it but once again maybe she knows something I don’t.
I ask if we have an Xbox that we can use to “ping” him and she says “yeah the one in the back we play on.”
She has an English accent by the way, a very specific & posh one which usually wouldn’t be relevant but we’ll get there.
So before she leads me to the Xbox-in-the-back she goes “oh damn. our internet has actually been down all morning, I forgot. We need to call the provider and have them come out and fix it. Can you do that?”
Can I call an unnamed internet provider and schedule them to come do service at a business where I don’t even technically work yet? Idk. She gives me their number and I call them and they put me on hold.
People are walking in and she’s not greeting them. She keeps browsing and people assume like I did that she’s another customer so they’re coming up to the counter where I’m on hold to ask me for help, and then I have to say I can’t help them and to ask the woman in the trenchcoat, and then she says “we can’t sell you anything. internet’s down.”
this goes on for 30 minutes and every time the store is empty she’s chatting at me and I’m on hold and then a man walks in the door and he says “sorry I fell asleep on live again haahaahaa” so this is the manager and the minute she starts speaking to him she no longer has an English accent which has me confused because it did not sound fake.
It was regionally specific and very natural.
the manager asks what I’m doing and I say I’m on hold with the internet provider and he gives me a thumbs up and walks to the back.
so I ask how long she’s lived in the U.S. and say I’m always interested in the way people can sometimes go in and out of accents and she says “oh I’m American. he asked me to stop doing the accent so I only do it when he’s not here.”
Suddenly I wonder what I’m doing here and I tell her I need to leave and I give no excuse but at this point I didn’t feel like I needed one? She said okay! See you later.
The manager didn’t contact me and that night I got offered some other retail job I jumped on.
Three months later the Game Stop manager texts me and asks if I can cover a shift in an hour and I say back “I don’t think I work there? I left an hour into my training. And we never spoke again.” And he texts back “hahahaha right on.”
And you may think wow, what a strange experience that all was but recently I have spoken to friends who did work at Game Stop and when I tell them this story they don’t even blink. Nothing I say surprises them. I was at the average Game Stop
you go into this persons house to ask for the recipe & the next thing your skeleton is being hurled back out the front door picked clean
something charmingly twentieth century about this
This counts as a spell
After shoving Hansel in the oven, the witch turns to Gretel - who is currently fending the witch off with a gingerbread chair - and says:
“I can’t believe you thought a trail of breadcrumbs would save you. I mean, honestly, this is a forest! It’s full of animals. Honestly, the very idea that a dumb shit like you thought you could get the better of me is absurd.”
Gretel hits her in the face with said chair. To be fair to the witch, she takes the chairshot like a champ.
“Ow!”
“Did you know,” says Gretel, “that crows are capable of facial recognition?”
“Eh?” Says the witch, clambering to her feet and pulling a candy cane sledgehammer off the wall. “What’s that got to do with anything?”
“Not only that,” Gretel continues, “but they can remember both friends and enemies. And they’ll often follow people they remember as friends.”
The two fence with their sugared weapons for a moment, before the witch knocks the chair out of Gretel’s hands.
“Enough with the bird facts! Honestly, this whole attempted escape has been utter clownshoes. Get in the fucking oven!”
She seizes Gretel by the collar. Gretel immediately sandbags, letting her whole body go limp. This eminently practical defense forces the witch to try and deadlift her. Which is hard, as the witch often skips leg day.
“For example,” Gretel says, as the witch struggles and grunts, “if you feed crows a lot of breadcrumbs, they’ll probably start to see you as a friend and follow you in the hope of more food.”
The witch stops. Outside, she hears the thunder of wings.
“They’ll even bring you shiny things they find as presents!” Says Gretel, as a corner of the gingerbread ceiling is suddenly cut away by a large crow with a knife in its mouth.
“Oh shitballs.” Says the witch, as the crows descend. “I hope you know this is a great unkindness.”
“Technically,” Says Gretel, “It’s a murder.”
Thank god they brought back An Amount Of Daylight That Makes You Want To Live. It was getting a bit scary for a minute there.
a ma comic for my ma - i love her and loved tmnt
the downside to harassing a cat constantly is that you run out of ways to bother them. so sure she's "well socialized" but how am i supposed to get revenge when she is being SO so annoying?
she enjoys this. what is left?
It hurt, but I don’t regret it.
oh i forgot to add the coffee in question lmfao
a comic about a reaccuring problem i have (^:
