According to this I work a lot of personal days and I don’t get Thanksgiving off. WTF?

This song is so sad and beautiful! I have loved it ever since I first heard it and it is one of my favorites of his. This song and Kiss. These lyrics are very meaningful to me especially the lyric about the world being so cold. This man is a music genius.

I can relate to this! Great lyric! Believe me getting through this thing called life is no walk in the park but, I am still here getting through it whatever comes my way.

Rest in Peace purple one. You are already so missed! Life is cruel. Too many legends leave this world too soon! I was depressed already but, when I found out you were gone I got more depressed. I chose this picture because I was actually given this poster as a child when I was like 11 or 12 and I hung it up in my room and now I have no idea what happened to it. :-(

My miserable life!

Why do I have to always suffer? I am not a horrible person! I don't deserve all that I have been through! Why can't I ever have happiness or a good life? Does God hate me? I thought he is suppose to love all of his children. I am not feeling the love right now. I actually was hopeful for a little while and was thinking that maybe my life could actually be getting better but, I was wrong in thinking that. I know some people will tell me to never lose hope but, believe me it hurts more hoping for something that will never happen than to be realistic and accept that I will never truly be happy. Why do so many bad people get better lives than me? Why do other good people get better lives than me? Why do a lot of good people get hurt? What is wrong with this world? I just don't understand! I am a caring person. I am am very accepting of people and their differences and I am compassionate and I like to help others and do good in anyway I can. I have been selfless and loving and caring and forgiving and all I ever get in return is hurt and pain. Why? There is no clear answer to that question. I thought good things should happen to good people. Do I have to be a bad person to get what I want in life? I don't know but, I don't have it in my heart to become a horrible person. I make mistakes sure but, that doesn't make me bad. It makes me human! I wish there was something that would save me from my horrible life. I think it is a joke when people think you can choose to be happy or that you have the ability to make yourself happy! Why do you think millions of people have found love in their life it's because it is human nature to want to be loved by someone and to want to love someone else that loves you. It is human nature to want to find another person that will be accepting of who you are and be there for you anytime you are in need and some people never find that one person even if they try like crazy to find it they never get it. Most people will find a love like that at least once in their life weather it is a significant other or a friend or a family member because there are some good people out there that actually are loving,caring and accepting and honest. I just don't know what to do anymore! its obvious that I am going to be miserable for the rest of my life! It is my destiny which I will never understand why I was born for this. I of course should have never existed and if I could change time so I never existed I would but, I can't. This isn't a suicide threat because I have no control over the past or having ever existed but, I do have some control over my life but, very little. I can choose to end it all if I wish too but, will I find peace if I ended it all? That is the question. Who knows for sure what happens when people die. Usually there is no going back from that once your dead it's usually the end, There is no going back! I am almost certain nobody will take the time to read this but, I feel like I need to vent and express myself and weather anyone really cares about me or wants to help me I can assure you there is no helping me. I can't be helped! I can't be saved. My life is misery and I shall be alone and miserable forever! This is my destiny! I don't want to accept it but, I might as well accept it because if things were going to get better they would have a long time ago! Some people will have a hard and miserable life and then eventually get a better life and find true happiness. If I knew how to change my destiny and to find true happiness I would but, it is impossible. It is up to God or fate to decide how my life is going to be. So basically I am screwed any which way. I am damned if I do and I am damned if I don't. My life isn't 100% bad but, like 90% bad and I barely have anything to be happy about and believe me what little I have to be happy about isn't enough to want to go on living like this. Yes some happiness is better than none but, eventually nothing will matter to me anymore and I will eventually just lose the will to live and that doesn't necessarily mean that I will kill myself or commit suicide it just means I will stop trying to find happiness and I will stop trying so hard at things in life because it has all been a waste at this point! I have fought hard to get happy and it wasn't enough. So I curse this cruel world and wait for the day that I can truly be at peace if I am ever allowed to be at peace which isn't very likely. I think in life and in death I am doomed to suffer no matter what. So anyway if anyone actually took the time to read this thank you and if anyone actually cares about how I am doing and what I am going through thank you but, I have really lost faith in humanity and happiness and it is very unlikely that my faith will ever be restored or that I will ever be happy in life. So that is all I can do is make it through each day until my life ends whenever it does. I know others have it worse than me but, I have the right to be upset for what I have been through and I have the right to be happy and my right to be happy was taken away from me or not even really given to me in the first place! Okay I am going to stop writing now! It was probably for nothing anyway but, venting and sharing these thoughts and feelings helps me a little so I can get through this life of mine.

She really seemed like a smart woman. Seen some good quotes by her.

I'm posting this from my phone so it's kind of funny but, at least I'm alone at the moment.