@jammy-badger / jammy-badger.tumblr.com
all of these and also once a month i just lean over and tear out my officemate’s windpipe with my teeth, just ripping through the flesh with pure animal instinct. i go home and when i come back the next day he’s fine and he doesn’t remember and all of the blood is gone. not sure what he gets out of the arrangement but i feel like we’ve grown close
this is the best album release of all time because where else are you going to get unironic takes like this and then even get a few hundred people to agree with it
8 dabloons
if i was a gnome i wouldn't do any fucking jolly pranks or mischief im different i would mind my fucking business and drink chamomile with my wife in our separate beds and no we arent chaste we are raw dogging every single day but we sleep seperately because i am so small and when the sun rises i will turn back into stone in whatever position i was before the sun showed its fucking face and it would be really uncomfortable for her to roll over onto my little stone body and also i might get crushed because shes so big
this is my story
yknow what? fuck you man! you're fucking lucky you live on the second floor of your house! youre fucking lucky youve got a cat! youre so lucky you dont even know it. do you know what kind of magic i have access to? the kind of things my little clay hands can do? ive killed before, man . red blood on this little body oh yeah thats me. watch yourself next time you go out to get ice cream or pizza in the winter. watch your fucking ankles bub
do you think elves are really sick of this hairstyle, like on elf grindr this is how all the most obnoxious dudes look
Father John Yogurt was defrocked from the clergy today for being asexual, following a papal ruling that "vows of chastity don't count without temptation." The Pope later commented "You gotta have that dog in you"
there are so many books in this beautiful world. many of them bad
call it what u will, identifying with an animal is one of the most ancient and universal human experiences. the oldest known depiction of a human has a lions head. i am being dead serious when i say there are few things in this world more normal than being a furry
