I’m alive!

I haven’t posted in a month because, well, LIFE.  Oh, and Cooper deleted everything on my phone (ev.er.y.thing. - no back up), and it took me over a week to figure out the password I’d been using for Tumblr ... admitting that only to give a a glimpse into how overwhelmed I’ve been with life stuff of late.  So, now I can get back into my account and dash, only to find out that fucking comments are gone. HUH?!  Unacceptable. 

More on me later, for anyone who cares (hello...anyone out there ... do I still have followers...?).

He’s 3 today, and my mind is blown. 

I remember this moment like it was yesterday ... his first bath at home, and I’d joked to Andrew that he was getting a post-hospital bath sooner than I was, and Will was pulling on my pant leg asking if he could hold him next (and he did, and the series of photos of the two of them in the glider still warms my heart). I remember worrying about how I was going to manage the next bath on my own since A was about to leave for a week long business trip, and trying to hide that I was getting teary-eyed about it. I remember wishing for a second that there wasn’t going to be a photo of me with filthy, greasy hair holding my baby. 

But mostly I remember that when everyone else left the room, I dressed, rocked, and fed him - my nose pressed to his sweet little head, breathing in the warm, wonderful scent that was distinctly Cooper. The love I felt for him in that moment made my heart pound, and all the fears that I had about being able to love a second child as much as my first melted away. 

I still sit with him in that same chair, nose on his soft blonde hair, eyes closed. And it’s still my favorite part of the day. 

Happy Birthday, my sweet Cooper. I love you through and through. 

Life lately. 

Little Boys, Big City

(or A Saturday Worth Remembering) 

We woke up this morning with no plan. Most Saturday mornings are filled with soccer - cancelled for the holiday weekend - or I’m solo with the boys while A is MBAing for the weekend. So this family of four/no plans Saturday was a rare thing!  While Cooper slept in, A and I taught Will how to play Uno (God, I love Uno). Soon after our little guy started screaming his head off for us, A suggested,  “How about breakfast out?” and I followed up with, “Then Maggie Daley Park?”, as it was the only thing on Will’s summer bucket list we’d yet to hit. 

Breakfast at Jane’s in Bucktown (I love the people there, such a pleasant vibe), and then we hit Maggie Daley Park. I bow down to the developers. I mean, a 20 acre public park with incredible views of the Lake and skyline, water features, stuff for thrill seeking kids and timid children alike, and that pleases a crowd from age 1 - adulthood?!  Come on. This place is fucking amazing.  (Though I will say that you should never, ever be responsible for more than one child there at a time. I’ve never seen so many adults go from smiling faces as they watch children play, to sheer terror as they realize they cannot spot their own offspring.) Simply put, this park is must-do. 

As luck would have it, this weekend is also the Chicago Jazz Festival.  We listened to music as we walked through Lurie Gardens, strolled past the Bean, grabbed some food and a Stella in Millennium Park, and snagged some seats for a closer look at the musicians while we lunched. I think the highlight of my day was pointing out to my boys where a musician was standing on the stage of Pritzker Pavilion and saying, “See where he is standing on the stage? That’s exactly where Mommy and Daddy were when Daddy gave me this ring and asked me to be his wife! And we’ll always be able to come here and see that spot!” 

We zipped home for a late nap for Coop, more Uno for Will, and then an early evening swim and dinner at our club. There was a whole lot of Pete the Cat at bedtime, extra snuggles, and a long reply when asked our traditional bedtime question of “What made you happy today?” 

My boys make me so, so happy. This was a Saturday for the books ...  a shout out to Chicago for being the best GD city anywhere. 

71 is warm enough to swim! (or maybe not since we're the only family here ...)

Throw towel at little brother’s face. Little brother laughs hysterically. Repeat 40 times. 

 Boys are weird.

Today ...

Will scored a hard-earned goal in his soccer scrimmage.

Cooper walked the 20 feet to a public trash can by himself. 

Will bought a gumball with money from his own wallet.

Cooper went down a water slide and shot back up out of the water in an instant.

Will dove all the way down and touched the bottom of the 7ft deep pool well. 

Cooper ordered his own dinner, saying please and thank you. 

And each time, each of my boys searched for my eyes in that instant that they had a feeling of accomplishment and pride. And my heart grew and grew.  

This, right here, is the stuff that makes it all worthwhile. 

I’m at a kiddie play place this morning, and I’ve just become aware that there is a boy here named Hulk. A human boy. Named Hulk.

Awkward x2

The kids and I took a little trip to Costco this morning, and (thank GOD) I opted to shower and dress like a functional member of society. While in line for checkout, I heard someone call my name: “Amy [redacted maiden name]?” Hey, yeah, that’s me!  Sure enough, it was a girl from my high school class who I actually only knew for a year since I moved when we were sophomores. We forced some chit-chat since, well, we were never really good friends and haven’t seen one another in 25 years, but now we’re stuck in line together. Didn’t really think it could get more awkward. Until ... 

UNTIL ... 

Her husband meets her in line. And he’s a guy I dated. (And that’s a pretty generous use of the term to describe what went on between us for several months between the hours of two and five AM. Hey, I was 24!)  She introduces us, as I slowly die inside, and it’s clear from the look on his face he recognized me just as quickly as his wife did ... I mean, I guess when you know someone intimately ... UGH, IT’S SO AWKWARD. To his credit, he said something like, “Hi, Amy. Long time, huh?! Heather - Amy and I went on a couple dates about a million years ago. Small world!” Or something similar? I don’t know, my ears were ringing and my heart was pounding, and it was the worst two minutes in recent memory, but probably not as bad as the two minutes for him after I walked away, if I had to venture a guess.

Naturally, I texted my bestie immediately (since she used to hook up with his roommate and then we’d pilfer through their belongings after they left for work and stupidly trusted us in their apartment). Pretty sure I made her day, so that’s something.  

Cooper, after summoning me to the bathroom: 

“Mommy, do you want to watch my poop come out?” 

No, not at all. Just let me know when you’re done, please. 

“Ok. Can I touch your eyes while I poop?” 

Last night A and I went on a legit date night (you know, just the two of us, not getting a sitter to go to a party or out with friends or a dinner double date, etc) - neither of us could remember the last time it was just ... US. 

We hit Six Flags for some good old fashioned fun - riding roller coasters, inhaling funnel cake, and people watching in line (texting what we couldn’t say without being heard, because we’re complete assholes like that). 

Good news: we still like each other!  It was a great day and night, complete with checking out the sunset from the Eagle’s 127ft drop. I talked him onto some of the classics like the Whizzer, Fiddler’s Fling, and Whirlygig, but we’re both really in it for the thrill rides. We rode them all, except Goliath (agreeing that neither of us is interested in waiting for 2 hours for anything, ever, without a drink in hand). So much fun and a great reminder of how lucky I am to have married my best friend. 

Oldie but goodie! #datenight

July Wine Club: Italian Whites Moving on to bottle #5 and Black Dog Gelato! #bejealous

Will, age 5. #priorities