I always think about John and Abigail on the 4th. They were true American heroes.

I always think about John and Abigail on the 4th. They were true American heroes.

Got a question? Ask your friendly librarian … on Phyllis Friday!

I’d hire her for my staff...

One librarian’s nomination of Strong Poison, Have His Carcase, Gaudy Night, and Busman’s Honeymoon as the most romantic love stories.

Seconded by another librarian!

Things about Hebrew

A rollercoaster is called “mountain train”.

When something contradicts something else it “slaps it”.

School is called “book house”.

Cotton candy is called “Grandma hair”.

When you clearify, you “brighten”.

If it’s related, it’s tied.

You don’t count numbers, you nomber numbers.

If you talk too much, you’re “digging”.

Safety is the same as comfidence, and if you’re certain of something you’re “safe” in it.

When you meet someone, you don’t say hello, you say peace.

When you want to say Congratulations, it’s either “good luck!” Or “my blessings!”.

It’s not a calendar, it’s a year board.

When you consider something, you weight it.

Brooms don’t swipe, brooms broom.

A frying pan and a baseball bat are both “hitter”.

Preserved food is conquered food.

You’re not a girl, you’re a guy-a.

If someone is attractive, he is “pulling”.

When we say “Happy Birthday”, we actually say “Good Luck”.

Asking someone “What’s Up”, is actually just asking “What’s the Situation” or “What’s Happening” or “What’s Being Heard”.

We don’t “Eat Food”, we “Food Food”.

If you go to the “Hospital”, you go to the “Sick House”.

Sometimes we eat “Cheese Fingers” and “Chocolate Fingers”.

A “Piggyback-Ride” is simply a “Flour Sack”.

Your eyes’ “Pupils” are actually “Little Men”.

Our days don’t have nice names like “Sunday” or “Monday”, they’re called “First”, “Second” and so on.

If someone annoys you and you want them to “Go Away”, you can be rude and tell them to “Fly Off”.

When we’re very frustrated, we might find ourselves saying “Your Mom’s Vagina”.

The word for “Dick” is the same word for the 7th letter of the Hebrew Alphabet- ז’.

We have an acronym that stands for knife, spoon and fork (סכו״ם) that we use instead of saying ‘eating utensils’/‘utensils’

We don’t say ‘bless you’ when people sneeze, we say ‘to health’

It’s not ‘bathroom’, it’s ‘services’

It’s not ‘what’s wrong with you/what’s the matter with you’, it’s ‘what’s closed with you’

It’s not ‘what the hell’, its ‘what to hell’

We call people 'soul’ as some sort of nickname

We don’t put glasses on, we assemble them

We shoe our shoes (actually a lot of verbs/nouns work according to this pattern), and the word for “shoeing” is the same as the word for locking

It’s not “you’re welcome”, it’s either “please”, “with joy”, or “with fun”

“Thank you very much” is “a lot of a thank you”

Despite definitely being a singular being, God’s name is pronounced as “my lords”

We don’t catch diseases, we get glued with them

And another optional nickname for a loved one is “כפרה” (kapara), which is what you get if God forgives your sins

flour sack is father of yoyo erasure.

And there’s the one from Jerusalem

No one calls it that anywhere else

We had an argument about this last week in the military between the folks from Jerusalem and literally everyone else. You probably say “אבן ג׳וּק” too you absolute heathen.

A story that the Jews tell each other is that when the slaves were fleeing Egypt they came to the edge of the Red Sea and thought: well, fuck, this is it. Water in front of them and enemies behind. They had escaped, sure, but all this meant was that they were going to die free instead of in chains. A meaningful distinction in an abstract sense, but the Jews are a practical people, and mostly what they were concerned with in that moment was: they would be equally dead either way.

A man stepped out from the group. He stepped into the water. He said: mi chamocha ba’eilim adonai? Who is like you Adonai, among the gods who are worshipped? He sang that verse over and over again. He sang it as he waded into the sea. He gave his body over to his faith as he walked. There was nowhere to go but forward. If he was going to die, he figured, and be equally dead either way, he was not going to die in slavery and he was not going to die at the hands of the Egyptians, either. He was going to die walking and singing, believing, trying to find progress in the chaos, in the waves. 

In the story, the water laps first at his feet, then his knees, his thighs, his ribs, his neck, finally flowing into his mouth as he sings and sings and sings. The words get choked, mispronounced: the hard cha of mi chamocha becomes mi kamoka, strangled but still certain. 

In the story, this man is why the people get their miracle, the waters parting to let them cross through on dry land. It is an act of divine intervention, but it only comes because someone is willing to put his life on the line to make it happen. I keep thinking about him this week, that apocryphal man and how it is a story we make sure to keep telling each other: when there is water in front of you and enemies behind, you do not wait for your god, or a sign. You trust in something larger than yourself and open your mouth to sing about it. You put your feet on the ground and walk forward. 

His name was Nahshon ben Aminadav. Descended directly from Judah, he fathered a line of kings. We tell his story to remind ourselves that God does not act in isolation. Humans are not just participants in holy work - we are vital to its success.

I spent the afternoon arranging our books by size and color (and it’s so satisfying and looks amazing) and my partner came home and stared in shock at the bookcase and then said “i’m a librarian, you can’t do this.”

him: you split up all the song of ice and fire books

me: yeah i know, they’re all primary colors, it’s perfect

him: [self-destructs]

You’re a monster

As a former bookstore employee, this hurts my soul. I mean, sure it looks nice, but how do you find anything?

it has occurred me during this process that apparently not everyone thinks about books by what color they are? like, literally when i’m looking for a book, i picture it in my mind. i have a very…tactile experience with the books i read and idk! i thought everyone did that lol.

my partner was like “how will i find [this book] for instance” and i replied “easy, it’s purple” and he looked at me like i was a witch.

I have to say; I am a librarian (quite a senior librarian in my country and -- in my field -- internationally) and my home collection is organized by color. It’s the only way to detach from work once I get home.

REBLOG IF NAZIS OFFEND YOU MORE THAN NIPPLES.

Neader-Google - of the genus Investigationem

When a librarian unexpectedly channels a 18th century Scottish woman walking the moors searching for her husband while describing how she spent nearly two hours tracking down a way to change the bib records (via whenalibrarian)

Keep Libraries Weird - Hand carved double block print to wood by Drew Meger in Salem, MA.

I’m giving a talk in the fall to a bunch of librarians where I am going to plead with them to keep their libraries weird. I’ve noticed a trend of late where the strange fringe books are being weeded but not replaced. I get it - if you think you can get 10x the circulation from a seventh copy of a James Patterson book than a single copy of a UFO or cryptid book then it’s hard not to go with still yet more Alex Cross. The effect of this is a homogenization of libraries - we already see this as librarians chase best practices and slowly convert libraries to a more retail feeling environment. Fringe stuff, weird stuff is nowhere near as popular as mainstream materials by definition and we do have to make every budget dollar count. Still, shouldn’t libraries seek to inspire wonder? A few curated weird books is all I ask. Maybe focus on local legends, hauntings, UFO sightings, or whatever floats your boat. Keep your library unique to your community. Keep it weird!

If you have any stories about the weird and inspiring things you’ve discovered in a library, please share them!

New series of Treasures Of The British Library starts 11 September with Jim Carter

(x)

Happy Jim Day to us all!! X

When obsessions collide...

Me every time a man thinks his opinion is worth literally any of my time

when i think about life after grad school

#throwbackthursday!

Just had a thought for an action hero thing: 30-something woman hero is doing her ass-kicking thing. One day, her boss shows up at her door, and tells her she has to stand down, or there will be consequences. “Honey, it’s not that you’re too old. It’s just the public don’t like to see a woman of your age saving the day. It feels emasculating”.

So woman is stripped of her support team, fellow agents, and is pretty much put on the shelf. She tries to do heroing, but keeps getting cockblocked by younger women or superhero men she used to work alongside.

Just when she’s hitting rock bottom (and sitting in her house wearing pyjamas and eating ice cream), there’s a knock at the door. Judi Dench is standing there, and our heroine assumes it’s a charity collection.

“Oh no, dear,” Dench says, smiling. “We’ve come to recruit you.”

“Recruit me? For what?”

“To do what we do best: save the bloody world.”

And all at once she’s part of a covert ops team made of all the older women who have been retired and who currently are holding the reins of managing the world.

pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase

I am here for this plan.

Oh, yes.

Of course, a few older women heroes and vigilantes don’t take the offer. Some are too embittered by the rejection they’ve faced and decide to show the world exactly why they’re still to be feared. 

Enter Judi Dench’s arch-nemesis, Dame Helen Mirren.

I need this like air

Look - here’s your casting call:

The Recruit:

I need this to happen!

There should be a whole bit about how uma and Lucy liu can never be in the same place because of an old grudge.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

Betty White runs the whole Op and everyone reports to her.