The Time Waster

if you’re working from home and have a pet, they’re your co-workers now

If you’re still in school, they’re your classmates

💸👏🏻2020👏🏻is👏🏻the👏🏻year👏🏻we👏🏻get👏🏻our👏🏻finances👏🏻in👏🏻order👏🏻💸

I posted this a week ago and 👏🏻it 👏🏻did👏🏻not👏🏻age👏🏻well👏🏻🙃

me, experiencing the sudden anguish that comes with living: alright

garlic is such a good seasoning.. how does it do that

i think its the garlic

its the garlic

tumblr…..please….i want to learn more…..

I just walked past a mirror and did a double take and thought "dang, I look more sophisticated and suave than my usual baseline level of -4, why do I look so elegant?" and concluded that it was because my lips looked slightly darker, like I was wearing a subtle but daring shade of mauve lipstick, which gave me an air of worldliness and fine taste, like a lady who might flirt with a detective to put him off the scent

And then I realised it was because I'd eaten so many dark chocolate truffles left over from Christmas that I'd stained my mouth

Très sophistiquée

There is elegance in decadence

GOD this comment just changed my entire life

Source: [x]

Click HERE for more facts!

Not a dream

Quick

Does anyone have a picture of those birds that look like they have a bowl cut toupee

What are they called

These gnarly little dudes

Gloster Canaries

Thank you!

one of these things is not like the others~

This is why they fucked him up so bad.

Fact: wizards carry staves because magic can go wrong in countless ways, but at the end of the day there are very few problems that can’t be solved by hitting them with a stick.

(This is also the reason the warlocks carry knives, which tells you everything you need to know about the difference between wizards and warlocks.)

Big Pratchett Energy

He’s staring at the hole in his head

Hes staring up at god

god let this happen?

best tumblr glitch of all time 

When he gets bored.

gotta say, the witcher has really revolutionised fantasy tv by deciding that high-waisted pants are the peak of fashion for dudes in witcherland

the men of the witcher are in the equivalent of our world's current craze for high waisted jeans. this is the reason why the witcher is so good, and why game of thrones failed so bad.

*quicksaves before stealing a necklace at hottopic*

Employee: theif!

*battle music starts*

Me: *sighs and crouches in the corner*

Employee: huh? Must of been my imagination.