@crystaldragoncynzi / crystaldragoncynzi.tumblr.com
want to be clear that if i ever talk about a headcanon and then later discuss a headcanon that is directly contradictory to the first one, that’s because headcanons exist in a quantum state where they are all simultaneously true and not true up until the point where i discuss it in detail, in which case that is the one that is true in that instance. schroedinger’s headcanons
that’s what characters ARE. not people, but potential. many things, as needed, no matter how mutually exclusive.
I don't know why, but I like the idea of humans being to aliens, what cats are to humans...
Alien1: hey, when did you hire a human?
Alien 2: we didn't. They just wandered aboard one day, saying they wanted to "hitch a ride." Then they never left. I think they like it here.
Alien 1: the human distribution system has chosen.
***
Alien stares at the human, who has climbed up a very high shelving unit.
Alien: Human, get down before you hurt yourself.
The humans response is to climb higher.
***
Alien is secretly filming their human, who is spaced out and just staring at nothing.
Alien (whispering): I think the human is about to intercept the brain cell. (Laughter) don't worry human, if it tingles that means it's working.
@thatquietkid108 don't hide good stuff in the tags.
@phoomwhoosh another good addition
People, you can add to this. You don't have to hide stuff in the tags.
Alien 1: Oh, you guys have a human?
Alien 2: Yeah, they're a rescue.
Human (Looking dead inside from having to explain this a hundred times a day): I didn't have anywhere to stay and they offered to rent me their spare room!
When the shows of affection are mildly anoying to aliens
Human: *hug *
Alien: ummmm *frozen in place, uncomfy*
In movie night, it's late and the human fell asleep on top of someone
Alien1: *whispering* what do i do???
Alien2: *olso whispering* i'm sorry, my friend, you are traped for eternity
(Because humans can mimic cats, and cats can mimic humans -a little-)
Aliens picking up human cries, the same way humans can mimic cat cries.
*human is minding their own business*
Alien: hEy cOmE OvER hERe!
*human stares in both fear, curiosity, and pride before obeying the instruction.*
*alien is filming this for space-tiktok*: Oh my gods! It worked!
**
Humans able to mimic the noise the aliens make.
Human: HeLLooooo, aRRREeee yOOUU CoMmInNNNnnn???!!!
Alien: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!!
Human *now speaking their own language*: Roooow weerriy!
Alien: "Oh my stars you guys won't believe this. My human has a south galactic accent just look at this!"
WOW
I’m pretty sure you’ve reached Legendary Status when the God of Skating, Tony Hawk looses his shit
That’s literally the move Christ Air from the first tony hawk pro skater game
HE REALLY DID IT
holy
FUCKING SHIT
so wait
someone literally had the balls of vibranium it takes to attempt christ air
in front of Tony Hawk
AND STUCK IT
jfc
Tony Hawk literally says “Are you kidding me” because that move from the video game is a made up move that know one thought would be humanly possible
i’m so glad to finally have context for one of my fav reaction gifs
The Outbursts of Everett True was a comic strip that ran in papers from 1905 to 1927, wherein the aforementioned Everett True regularly beat the everliving shit out of rude people as a warning to anyone else who might consider being rude. Men have not only been taking up too much room on public transport for about as long as public transport has existed, but the people around them have been irritated about it for at least a hundred years. The next time someone tries to claim that manspreading is a false phenomenon, please direct them to this strip so that Everett True can correct their misconceptions with an umbrella upside the head.
I have never before heard of Everett True, but if he “regularly beat the everliving shit out of rude people as a warning to anyone else who might consider being rude,” I have a strong spiritual connection with him.
I fucking love him
i can imagine this guy’s voice very clearly in my head but i couldn’t put a name to it
He also jabs racists in the eye!
I love the justice grandpa of fists
I’m very lucky to own a book that’s a collection of most of these comics (sadly not all of them) and would highly recommend hunting these down if you can. Sorry for the lack of a scanner but phone photos will just have to do.
He was a enjoyable cuss who didn’t care for war mongering.
Especially profitable war mongering and excuses for it!
He certainly didn’t like selfish husbands and fathers!
Politicians who turned on their words once they got theirs weren’t safe.
He said fuck the police!
He absolutely didn’t like people ruining little things for kids.
He stood up for foreigners. Especially those doing their best to communicate with limited second language knowledge.
He was not having any tomfoolery when it came to gun safety and laws. Especially with youth involved.
You had better not abuse a animal with him nearby. He’d right that wrong real quick!
And best of all him and his wife were both prickly cusses together. Relationship goals.
I have a new role model
It’s nice to see a fat dude in a political cartoon that’s NOT being used as shorthand for greed and corruption.
Hes like the personification of motherfucker unlimited
Reblogging this newer version of this thread with so many more strips I haven’t seen…why did this character ever disappear. Where did you go, Everett.
we need him more than ever…
Grandpa Fuck Around & Find Out. Love him.
Y'know, I’m pretty sure doing modern Everett True strips could be done under protection from US parody laws, as long as you weren’t selling them.
animals in medieval armor
I actually don’t mind that “dead dove” has become conversational shorthand for “fics with heavy themes where you REALLY need to pay attention to the warnings”. such is the nature of language. what i do mind is when people tag their actual fics with dead dove and then give no indication of what they’re actually warning about. that is useless. that helps no one. that is completely against the spirit of the meme. i will not be reading that
When the tags say "bdsm" and "dead dove" it means that the bdsm is, like, super duper bdsm.
When the tags say "dead dove" with no other clarifying tags, it's like walking down a hallway and having someone shout "BE ALARMED" and then vanishing into thin air with no further details given. Be alarmed about what.
I’m going to tell you something nobody told me:
It is O-fucking-Kay if you think you’re trans except for that one thing
If you think you might be a girl but you like having your hair short, or you don’t like wearing dresses, or you don’t want to wear makeup, that is totally okay
If you think you might be a guy but you like having long hair or you really love skirts or you wear lots of sparkly jewellery, that is totally okay
If you think you might be nonbinary but you really like presenting in a way that aligns with your agab, that is totally okay
If you think you might be trans but you aren’t sure if you want hormones, that is totally okay
If you think you’re trans “except for…” that is totally okay and get this: you don’t have to change that part of yourself to be trans
You can if you want to, but if you don’t, that is totally okay
by @ jaymintaylor on tiktok
video description: A cell phone video pointed at the shadows of two people standing on a lawn.
Cameraperson: “Jaymin. Which way did he go?”
The person on the left adjusts their stance and clothing in such a way that their shadow ceases to resemble a human and perfectly forms an upward-pointing arrow. The cameraperson dissolves into laughter.
as someone who has been involved in union organizing through my dad's union since i was literally in second grade, the way that people on tumblr think unions work drives me literally insane
unions do so much more than just strike. unions bargain. unions sit in at meetings with upper management. unions help people navigate benefits. unions coordinate aid drives for disabled members. my union ran a donations campaign for me for the interim between the end of my allotted paid leave and my disability claim
"unionize your workplace" means so much more than "talk to your coworkers about striking." you gotta actively know what a union is and what a union isn't before you can form one. calls to unionize should lead to more people learning their rights and learning how unions work, and coordinating with orgs like seiu and the teamsters and the aft (and if you don't know what those are, look them up).
My union found me a legal expert to help me check over my last redundancy settlement for free, provided private medical cover whilst I was unemployed, and negotiated a good deal on cheap insurance for their members. It is so much more than strikes.
i thought this was a hospital drama why does he have a shotgun?!??!?
It's a really, really good hospital drama
I'm so glad I turned on the Audio bc it turns out this is set to Boney M's Rasputin and is basically perfectly synced
looking for fics about your favorite character on ao3 be like:
dont care
dont care
dont care
what the actual fuck
dont care
ooh that sounds- what the fuck
unfinished
don't care
the best fic ive ever read in my life. this absolutely ruined me and ill never be the same ever again
dont care
Reblogging for the absolute brutal accuracy of this comment
I’ve had a few different people in my inbox asking me why I view these terms the way I do. In particular, why I claim it’s intersexist. So, I thought I’d lay out a few examples, so everyone can understand where I’m coming from.
Imagine an intersex woman. She was assigned female at birth by her doctors, and was able to go about her childhood as a woman with no inclination that anything was amiss. Sure, she didn’t experience certain parts of puberty, but puberty was different for everyone, right?
But, later in life, she learns she has Turner syndrome. This is an intersex condition where a woman has only one X chromosome, rather than the usual two.
Soon after she learns this, she finds that laws are being made to attempt to keep trans women out of women’s spaces (often specifically sports) which use chromosomes as a defining factor of womanhood.
Would this intersex person be considered “transmisogyny affected”? She has been raised as a cisgender woman with no problems regarding being ‘clocked’, but she is also a direct target of transmisogynistic laws. She lies in a gray area.
Now, let’s go to another intersex person. Imagine an intersex man with PAIS. AIS is an intersex condition where babies are born with testes and XY chromosomes, but their body is immune to or can’t respond to androgens (which includes testosterone). Intersex people with partial AIS (PAIS) often develop a vulva and clitoris during puberty.
This intersex person identifies as a man, and he was assigned male at birth. However, his body does not produce testosterone, and he went through a feminizing puberty. To the average eye, he appears to be a woman now because of this.
Would this intersex person be considered “transmisogyny affected?” He was assigned male at birth, and now appears to be a woman, much like many transfems. However, if many saw how he looks now, stating that he is a male, they would probably clock him as transmasc. He was raised as a boy until puberty, and then faced astrozcization from his peers when he began a puberty that feminized him. What he was facing was a form of intersexism where transmisogyny was playing a huge part. Does his childhood matter? Can one become TME over time, when they were TMA as a child? Again, he lies in a gray area, where the answer is not quite so simple.
What about the “opposite”, per se — an intersex woman who had a masculinizing puberty? She has aromatase deficiency, which means that many ‘male’ hormones (which would usually be converted to ‘female’ hormones) would remain unconverted. She identifies as a woman, and was identified as a female at birth and was raised, until puberty, as a female. But now, she would be clocked as a trans woman upon looking at her. What does that make her? Is it different from the previous example? How and why? This intersex person also lies in a gray area. How she should be described with these terms is not clear.
And keep in mind, these are all relatively simple examples. All of the examples I listed self-identify as cisgender. But there are intersex people who are trans in any direction you can imagine.
If that last example identified as a trans woman, because she is now clocked as one, would you be able to say she’s wrong for that? What about if she identified as transmasculine, because of her experience with puberty? What if she’s multigender, bigender or genderfluid, and says she’s both transmasc and transfem because of her complicated experiences? Would that make her a TMA transmasculine person? But I thought that transmascs were all TME? That’s how it’s so often framed, anyway.
The reason why these questions are so difficult to answer is because these terms were not made with intersex people in mind. Very real intersex transfems were pushed to the wayside in favor of centering the perisex view of transgenderism. Intersex people are nothing but an inconvenient little afterthought, annoying perisex people with their demand for “inclusion” and “consideration”. (As per usual.)
You cannot simply make a new gender binary and say, “No, really, this time everyone fits into these two categories! Forcing people to confine themselves to these two rigid labels which are shown as opposites, and as never interacting, will definitely include everyone this time!!” No matter what the contents of the new binary is, it’s not going to work, because sex and gender alike are too complicated for that. There will always be people in the gray area.
This isn’t even getting into the fact that these terms, for all intents and purposes, seem to have been popularized by and associated with the Baeddelism movement around 2017, which was essentially “Radical Feminism 2: We’re Trans Women, So It’s Fine!” This movement is known for chronic villainization of trans men and non-binary people who aren’t transfem. (They act like this with cis people too, but noticeably less so than they do with non-transfem trans people. How curious.) Think along the lines of how regular radfems treat all men (and who they deem to be men) as inherently morally disgusting scum who deserve to be attacked.
Methinks that maybe these terms aren’t the neutral, fact-based descriptors of oppression that many people nowadays tout them to be, considering that.
So, yeah. “Transmisogyny exempt” and “transmisogyny affected” as terms: not even once. Listen to intersex people, stop trying to make sex and gender into binaries, and for the love of God, stop drinking the queer seperationist koolaid!
Holy shit. I have ALWAYS thought the people around me were being unconscionably intrusive and power-playing in their starter conversations and they told me I was antisocial and oblivious to culture norms. Turns out, maybe I’m just from a different culture.
****new link****
by Keith Humphreys - May 5, 2014
When I met my fiance’s African-American stepfather, things did not start well. Stumbling for some way to start a conversation with a man whose life was unlike mine in almost every respect, I asked “So, what do you do for a living?”.
He looked down at his shoes and said quietly “Well, I’m unemployed”.
At the time I cringed inwardly and recognized that I had committed a terrible social gaffe which seemed to scream “Hey prospective in-law, since I am probably going to be a member of your family real soon, I thought I would let you know up front that I am a completely insensitive jackass”. But I felt even worse years later when I came to appreciate the racial dimension of how I had humiliated my stepfather-in-law to be.
For that painful but necessary bit of knowledge I owe a white friend who throughout her childhood attended Chicago schools in a majority Black district. She passed along a marvelous book that helped her make sense of her own inter-racial experiences. It was Kochman’s Black and White Styles in Conflict, and it had a lasting effect on me. One of the many things I learned from this anthropological treasure trove of a book is how race affects the personal questions we feel entitled to ask and the answers we receive in response.
My question to my stepfather was at the level of content a simple conversation starter (albeit a completely failed one). But at the level of process, it was an expression of power. Kochman’s book sensitized me to middle class whites’ tendency to ask personal questions without first considering whether they have a right to know the personal details of someone else’s life. When we ask someone what they do for a living for example, we are also asking for at least partial information on their income, their status in the class hierarchy and their perceived importance in the world. Unbidden, that question can be quite an invasion. The presumption that one is entitled to such information is rarely made explicit, but that doesn’t prevent it from forcing other people to make a painful choice: Disclose something they want to keep secret or flatly refuse to answer (which oddly enough usually makes them, rather than the questioner, look rude).
Kochman’s book taught me a new word, which describes an indirect conversational technique he studied in urban Black communities: “signifying”. He gives the example (as I recall it, 25 years on) of a marriage-minded black woman who is dating a man who pays for everything on their very nice dates. She wonders if he has a good job. But instead of grilling him with “So what do you do for a living?”, she signifies “Whatever oil well you own, I hope it keeps pumping!”.
Her signifying in this way is a sensitive, respectful method to raise the issue she wants to know about because unlike my entitled direct question it keeps the control under the person whose personal information is of interest. Her comment could be reasonably responded to by her date as a funny joke, a bit of flirtation, or a wish for good luck. But of course it also shows that if the man freely chooses to reveal something like “Things look good for me financially: I’m a certified public accountant at a big, stable firm”, he can do so and know she will be interested.
Since reading Kochman’s book, I have never again directly asked anyone what they do for a living. Instead my line is “So how do you spend your time?”. Some people (particularly middle class white people) choose to answer that question in the bog standard way by describing their job. But other people choose to tell me about the compelling novel they are reading, what they enjoy about being a parent, the medical treatment they are getting for their bad back, whatever. Any of those answers flow just as smoothly from the signification in a way they wouldn’t from a direct question about their vocation.
From the perspective of ameliorating all the racial pain in the world, this change in my behavior is a grain of sand in the Sahara. But I pass this experience along nonetheless, for two reasons. First, very generally, if any of us human beings can easily engage in small kindnesses, we should. Second, specific to race, if those of us who have more power can learn to refrain from using it to harm people in any way – major or minor — we should do that too.
This is really useful stuff – as someone who’s on disability and knows a ton of people in the same boat, “What do you do for a living?” can be such a loaded question. “How do you spend your time?” is a much more compassionate thing to ask, because you can just enthuse about what you’re writing or how great your cats are or whatever.
See this is the shit they should have been teaching me in therapist school.
See this is the shit
they should have been teaching me
in therapist school.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
THE CASUALNESS OF THAT COLLIE SLIPPING RIGHT OUT OF THEIR COLLAR. That dude is a Willing Participant of this walk and by god everyone else is going to follow the RULES.
before: GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCK PIECE OF SHIT
after: hello mommy 🥺 could you pretty please help me with this 🥺 it’s me your baby boy
I feel like there are a lot of people out there who needs to hear this:
If you dropped out of school because of diagnosed (or undiagnosed) ADHD, Autism, ADD, OCD, Dyslexia, Anxiety, Depression, Bipolar disorder, psychotic disorders, schizophrenia etc… You did not fail. The education system failed you.
this is the single best picture of an eclipse I've taken ever. it's not even close
bark bark bark bark
if my celestial dog hand gets ten thousand fucking notes I'm going to mcfreakin lose it
