hello friends.

SOMEBODY SHARED THIS WITH ME & OUCH IM LAUGHING SO HARD BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM HURT

This by far is the cutest cosplay ever hands down💕😫❤

3 counts of murder

turn on sound

This has a better three-act structure than some movies I’ve seen lately.

i hope youre all lying and hyping your cv/resume’s up

i have never gotten an interview and not been offered a job position after it

I mean lets be honest if everyone else is gassing theirs up like no tomorrow and you’re being as honest as you can who th are the recruitment team going to be more interested in

There’s people working in my banks head office with me WITH MUCH MORE EXPERIENCE than me BUT ARE GETTING PAID LESS

we’re doing the exact same job role

the point I’m trying to make here is if you’ve handled finances for a company you’re now what i would call a treasurer my g, if you’ve done admin work you are now a secretary (or as I’ve put Management secretary)

you help some kid with his homework? you’re a private tutor.

keep your bullets points for the job role as concise and important sounding as possible AND ALWAYS EMPHASIS THAT YOURE A TEAM PLAYER IF YOURE GOING TO WORK IN A TEAM.

go into that interview room and get your story straight the night before and remember that interviews are two way conversatons yes they might be grilling you but at the end of it make sure to grill them BACK. do you have any hesitations about my qualifications? my suitability for the job? any feedback on my cv? how long have you been working at this company? do you like it here? whats the work environment like?

I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS GET THE SAME FEEDBACK WHEN THEY GET BACK IN TOUCH WITH ME

“ive never been asked those questions before” / “you were one of the strongest candidates”

throughout the interview emphasise that youre about progression, that you want more responsibilities than you did at your previous job, tell them the hours here are more suitable for me than my last ones were, AND WHEN IT COMES TO SALARY NEGOTIATION its all about continuity. tell them again that it boils down to progression. make up a reasonable figure for how much you were paid in your last role (do your research for how much the industry youre applying to or the role youre applying for pays, base it on that) tell them you expect more than you were previously paid. do not give them a figure. progression is your primary focus, tell them if youre progressing youre happy. leave it at that.

LIE THROUGH YOUR TEETH AND GET THAT MONEY

I had an interview yesterday, at the place I’ve been temping, where I busted out the “is there anything about my skills or background that makes you concerned about my fit for this job” question for the first time.

Neither of my supervisors had never gotten it before either. They had to think for a while, and then it turned into them telling me how great I am and what they love about me.

This stuff is real. I would also say: none of it is lying. This is taking experience that you normally downplay and write off, and putting it in accurate words they’ll understand.

It’s hacking the capitalist system. Why ISN’T helping a kid with homework “tutoring”, when the only thing missing is a paycheck?

It’s especially important for anyone who isn’t a cis white man, because many of us are so thoroughly trained to feel like we are not good enough.

Privilege tells people they can fake it, and that they’re good enough just as people and can learn the skills on the job. Abuse and oppression tell people they aren’t good enough as people and that even their high skills are probably below average, and that unless they had the specific job title or were using certain skills officially, nobody will think it counts.

The goal is to at least fake the confidence of a privileged person, to give the employer a chance at seeing the skills that you’ve been trained to undervalue.

I would also say to answer any query of “Have you done [X small task] before?” with “I have, but it’s been a while.” Or, “I have, but it was a slightly different program.”

100% THEY WILL GLADLY WALK YOU THROUGH EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW, and I stress ‘gladly’ because claiming prior knowledge boosts their confidence in your abilities and any slips you make are already covered by your caveat. 

blackstoic may have deactivated their account but this advice is fucking gold and all y’all looking for jobs or who think you might one day need to look for a new job PRINT THIS SHIT OUT AND STAPLE IT TO THE WALL. 

IT’S GONNA BE MAY

Niggas nut faster than they reply😒.

Cause yall pussy be better than yall conversation 💁

ah shit lol

my internship boss was talking about how he had to work in a mail room to make ends meet during college where he “only made $6/hr” and

assert your dominance by calling your friends by their student ID number

Me A Real Nigga: “real niggas don’t care about a little leg and coochie hair, eczema, cellulite, stretch marks, discoloration, and ECT!”

You had my attention at eczema. I never pressed reblog so fast lol

- there’s a limit to coochie hair

I draw the line here

👏🏾👌🏾 only real niggas re blog this

Lmfao

Always reblog

IM GOING TO STAB MYSELF IN THE FOOT I JUST SENT MY ENGLISH TEACHER MY ESSAY ON HAMLET AND IT WAS STILL NAMED “the fresh prince of denmark yo holla”

oh man, i love receiving unedited final drafts:

cracks me up every time

THIS HEADLINE IS EVERYTHING

Congratulations to the goddess of tennis!!!

You know her baby will never hear the end of it. “I was Pregnant with your dumb ass and STILL WON the Australian open…….

Akabsjdndjdn 😭😭😭😭😭

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

LMAO I’M DYING 😂😭