tbh i am not the person you want to be texting in an emergency, my notifications are off and i’m on Do Not Disturb. i haven’t had a ringtone since the dark years of ‘06. i’ll text u back in four (business) months like “hope that worked out, the Lord works in mysterious ways xx”

(photo via mallowbear)

*talking to a gay couple*

So which one of you is… you know… the one who doesn’t fucking text back?

Oh my god

You know in the movies were the main guy has a friend whose a girl, who clearly has a crush on him, yet he abandons her to go with the popular crowd. But then by the end of the movie he realizes he loved her all along? I really want there to be a movie where the girl is like ‘no, you were acting like a dick. I’m not interested anymore’. Basically what I’m saying is that LAYLA FROM SKY HIGH SHOULD HAVE STAYED WITH WARREN PEACE

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'Balancing Act' by Luanna-the-sage

hey atheists

I might be a huge asshole but atleast I’ve never wanted to fuck pennywise

I’m not your average skateboarder. I don’t “dress like a stoner.” I don’t “know how to skateboard.” I don’t “disrespect authority.” I’ve never “been on a skateboard.”

friendly reminder that if i have ever befriended you and have not spoken to you in a while it’s nothing you’ve done wrong it’s just because i’m a piece of shit at keeping in contact with people and i still love you okay good

Y'all: Pennywise is gay!

Me:

I’m a dumbass but at least I’m gay

“high school musical was unrealistic because normal teens don’t burst into song” is an incorrect statement! the correct version would be more along the lines of “high school musical was unrealistic because normal teens don’t burst into song well”

fun gender neutral things to call your partner: