Dream log: 5 July 2014

It was probably midnight and I was tossing and turning in bed, having trouble sleeping. (Jesus, I am having trouble sleeping even in my dreams.) Like in real life, I decided to watch a movie on my laptop to help me doze off.

The movie started with a view from across the street of a town house painted in white. It looked eerily still, too quiet. I heard a person’s heavy breathing from the movie; the shot was probably from his/her POV. I could not judge whether the character is a he or a she.

The person stood there for quite a long time, judging by the following sequence. It was a time lapse shot of the busy street where the building was at. There was static noise along with the character’s labored breathing and the movements on the street were blurry. From time to time, there were shots that showed glimpses of screaming children, disturbing and confusing.

Eventually, he - I assume, upon seeing his gloved hand and the sleeve of his coat - walks closer, opens the door and enters, the shot still from his POV.

The next shot showed the character’s face. It was Benedict Cumberbatch. (I am not obssessing over him, I don’t know why he’s the star of my mind’s movie.) He looked tense and uneasy. Beads of sweat rest on his forehead.

At this point, I was liking the feels of this movie. My dream self thought, this was probably a movie Josiah, my real life film buff friend, gave me. (Hooray, brain, for making up a motion picture that I like.)

I don’t remember much about the rest of the movie, though. Only that I liked it. It gave me an unsettling feeling like when I watched We Need to Talk About Kevin. Maybe I dreamed of this because I was looking up psycho drama thriller movies these past few days.

In my dream, I eventually fell asleep with the laptop still on me.

The dream felt disturbingly real, like I was watching an actual film, even the part when I fell asleep. Nothing weird happened in my dream. My room looked exactly the same, my laptop, my bed. And that’s what creeps me out.

I woke up, in real life, with the craving for a good film.

Some fun weekend I had

Some of my weekends are spent sitting around, resting and being unremarkable. Some are full of tales of good times with awesome company - restless, memorable. Last week’s weekend is both. And it’s simply smashing.

On the last Saturday of June, Sofia, Marga, Carlo and I attended Yazhmin’s 18th birthday party at Ang Pamana Restaurant in Tagaytay City. The party was an intimate occassion; it felt like a privilege to be invited, to be important enough. “Feel mo ‘yung love,” Carlo described.

Gloomy morning.

I have been having late mornings these past few days and it bugs me. You see, since the start of the break, I’ve been getting in and out the bed early. Apparently, doing that makes a person feel well rested and a whole lot better (wow, newsflash!).

But this morning, I woke up at around 6:45 - the earliest in almost a week. So I got up, got dressed for jogging and woke my brother up to come with me.

I usually want to jog alone though. It relieves me from the constant pressure of having to keep up with my fitter buddies or, on the rare occassion that I am the ‘fitter buddy’, from having unnecessary breaks to wait for my less fit jogging buds. It’s just better to jog by myself on my own pace.

Having said that, I am being a bit selfless whenever I force my brother to go with me and be the less fit half of our jogging pair. I am also doing him a favor because he’s getting bullied at school for being pudgy (it suits him by the way). Instead of just giving him kind words to cope with the bullying, I’ve decided to help him lose weight. It’s good for his health anyway.

We didn’t get to jog this morning though. It rained and jogging while raining was frowned upon by our grandma.

Just the view around my room here in my grandparents' house. Theme is lines and light, I guess.

Tagaytambay and a buttload of photos

Last Wednesday, a bunch of my friends and I went to Tagaytay to watch movies and hang out at my uncle's condo. We were welcomed by very chillax weather perfect for chillaxing (yes, I can't think of better adjectives and verbs). It's even foggy and quite rainy!

hahahaha

no

fuck you

Internet issues

I've been staying at my grandparents' house, instead of our own house, for the midyear break. And this means hello, broadband sticks. 

Don't get me wrong, because I love this place. Not to mention, this is the house that I grew up in. There are four judgmental cats and five adorable kittens to play with. We have an amazing DVD collection available here for my entertainment. I have friends who live nearby. I mean, it's fun here and all. 

But as an average teen, I need the internet. Not need need. Not the way that I needed it back in high school when I would feel really bothered whenever I am absent from being online even for just one day. 

(Side bar: Thank heavens for that one semester when I lived in a boarding house without an internet connection. I was freed from being an internet slave.)

Well now, I just kinda need it. You know, to check on org work. To post pictures for the 100 Happy Days challenge. To update this blog (this is important because I have just been returning to loving this site). 

So, yeah. Hello broadband sticks (for the weekends when I really, really need to go online), hello WiFi leeching (sorry, neighbor school who put a lame WiFi password), and hello (unreliable) mobile data.

Chillin' //

I can't sleep. Again.

I feel really bothered because I have been sleeping early these past few days. I have not drank any coffee in the last three or four days, so where is this sleeplessness coming from? I don't know if it's just the internet or something is really bothering me right now. I just can't place it.

Anyway, I've been checking out "over the counter drugs that cause hallucinations" on Google for the past hour now. So, cough syrup, eh? But naah, I am too much of a coward. I do not want to choke on my own vomit, thank you very much. 

I may be watching too much drug related material lately. I am also being so boring and I am not interested in anything doable. Grow up, self.

A few days ago, I had to go to Mapua to run some errands but then I haven't gone from Dasma to Intramuros since the new bus terminal scheme was implemented. So, there I was half asleep on the bus and not sure where to get off. The place wasn't familiar to me at all and I was pretty sure that I was lost. I was considering getting a cab when I saw an LRT station. Hah. God, I love the train! Turns out, I was just about five stations away from Central station. From there, thanks to my (boy)friend who kept me company, my day went on smoothly. And we lived happily ever after. The end.

I. Wish.

But because the stars won't ever align in my favor (I am going for a slight Hunger Games x TFIOS crossover there hohoho), IT FUCKING RAINED. The rain got my flats soaking wet and I ended up buying overpriced slippers (Thank you, fucking Law of Supply and Demand) to change in to. I hate overpriced things that I don't like. Ugh.

My day didn't suck all the way though. We watched TFIOS (tears, tears everywhere) and found our way to Zark's Taft. Burgers and a great conversation. Perfect date. Whaaat did I say date or-

My day was basically me alternately being annoyed and feeling superb. I had quite a roller coaster ride of a day and no, it wasn't "a roller coaster that only goes up" because, hey, I'm not, in any way, like Augustus Waters.

Eternal Struggle of the Sleepless Mind (badum, tss)

I had trouble sleeping last night. Or this morning, whatever. It was already 2AM, I am dead tired but somehow, I just couldn’t drift off. Usually, if I read a book or rewatch some sitcoms, my eyes get too tired and I eventually get some rest. But unlike other nights, those didn’t work.

I ended up rewatching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and fortunately, it helped me with my sleeping problem.

Apparently, crying like a 5 year old helps me get some sleep.

It was quite strange, though. Not my crying in particular, but my crying at Joel and Clementine’s happy memories. I mean, yeah, I cry at movies but it’s usually when animals die or when old people are lonely. Not at happy couples. Ugh.

Anyway, crying issues aside, I loved the movie. I liked how Joel and Clementine, no matter how weird their respective personalities were, felt like an actual real life couple to me. Maybe it was because of their issues or how they talk or how they bond or how they fight, maybe I identified my current relationship to theirs. I don’t know, they just felt real to me.

That and it had the right amount of mindfucking going on. I liked the times when you have to think whether it’s the exact memory or it’s just how Joel’s mind projects it. And that despite the quite disorienting brain damage process that’s going on, you still understand Joel and Clementine’s story. God, I just love how this movie was made.

So, yeah. Maybe I cried because I identified with them or maybe because of how much I loved the movie or maybe because I wanted to sleep so badly.