As the months had gone by, Hide had become less and less of a person. It wasn’t that he was becoming someone that was unpleasant to be around, but rather that he had less people to be around, and less people to recognize him for who he was. He was simply a name, a volunteer, a delivery boy.
He wasn’t that important anymore, and as much as it made him hurt, and cringe, he still was far from giving up. Never would he abandon his friend, even if his friend was gone—dead. He had made a promise one night, and he intended to keep it. He was someone who could be easily defined as a loyal creature. Even if he would die trying to find the one important person, he would still look for him in the afterlife. That was something Hide knew would happen, and wouldn’t ever think of attempting otherwise.
However, the past few months have taken their toll on the young man. He had become easily exhausted, and his body had been breaking down often. On rare occasions, he had to have been taken back home by the ghoul investigators.
❝ How pathetic. ❞
The monster inside of his head laughed at him. Feeling faint, he slowly walked towards an alleyway. He forced himself against the brick wall and let out a large, pained sigh. He slowly rubbed his left hand through his hair, tossing it up slightly as he made an attempt to change the feeling of heaviness upon him.
As though his mind were playing tricks on him, he noticed a movement. And soon, as his eyes readjusted to the darkness, he noticed a difference between the darkness of the night and the darkness in front of him.
He could feel.
He could hear a heart beat, although faint; and he could sense the many mixtures of emotions before him. But not only that, but it was a warm. A familiar warmth, one that he could easily recognize and label.
‘Kaneki.' Without so much as a thought, he called out. He approached the silhouette, unafraid of the ghoul before him. He approached cautiously, and a large and stupidly happy smile crawled over his face. Gently, he reached out his right hand towards the missing person.
”Please, just let me touch you,
it’s all I want now;
so i know this is
R E A L I T Y . . .”
The words were whispered in his head, and he tried so hard not to let them out. The only thing he could actually manage out was a simple, and slightly pathetic beg.
’Please.’
Atonement was impossible for him to achieve. This was the price, to come to acceptance with the monstrosity forced inside of his once human body. He carried the burden, the weight of the world was on his shoulders. He shred his weakness, cast it off into a void of oblivion. He endures, and does so without a single complaint.
There are the times where he slips, and pummels downward into that oblivion he had created. However, he is always sure to grasp hold of the surface. And he would continue this cycle, over, and over, and over, and OVER.
Was it ever going to come to an end, to a complete halt where he would finally, finally be able to rest for a single moment? It appeared not, so he continued on.
It's getting late, and he's just little ways to his destination, to what he called home. A home where he no longer could think, 'what'll I make for dinner?' 'what'll I wake up and eat in the morning?'. The answer had always remained the same. Flesh. Kaneki had long been used to this. However, he does think of other things. 'Could I make time to visit Hinami?' 'Maybe we could go some-'
He freezes. Limbs are stuck in place, and immediate fright beats in his heart. Eyes widen, and for a moment, he believes it's a sick joke, a sick, sick, sick, joke. It's a joke. It's a joke. It's a joke. He slowly cants his head towards the direction of the voice, one so easily distinguished, so easily recognizable. It's a joke. It's a joke. There's no way - ...!!
A broken whisper, one filled with denial, refusing the reality right before him. Hide walks forward, and stomach drops. It's surreal, so uncanny to Kaneki. 'Does he know?' The first question that comes to mind, is the only one that weighs him down. Hide's reaching out to him, a plead leaves his lips. 'Please.' He inhales sharply, and he takes a step back, one step away from Hide, one step away from confrontation.
